Blaring music made my temples throb. The room was too dark to make out any specifics, but there were some pathetic splices of light that gave a picture of what was going on. I watched from the corner, sitting with my legs curled under me on a red couch. Observing.
Someone sat down next to me, “Hey,” He said, handing me a plastic cup. I smiled politely, and took it but knew not to take a sip. “What’s your name?”
I answered. But then he smiled and my mind went a little fuzzy. A new song began playing and it put me into a quick trance. This song was so achinginly familiar; it made my bones feel heavy and my muscles tense. “Where are you from?” I twitched, trying to force myself to pay attention to the conversation.
The beat dropped and I slipped away, into my memory.

It was all my old friends. My girls, there were five of us including me, going to hang out with three guys. I could see it; posing for pictures on the deck and sitting on the trampoline. For awhile we all just sat there talking, until “Let’s go on an adventure,” Josh said. So we did.
Silly, young, excited, and bored – we hopped up and started to the street, the one that resided in the middle of nowhere so really it was just a trip into the woods. Chris told us we were going to meet people, we loved new people so naturally we got excited. All of us followed along the path, chatting and drinking causing minutes to pass in no time.
Eventually we reached the real entrance of the woods; it was clearing between the trees that led to a path. The sun was starting to set casting dreamy shadows all across the leafy ground. All of us looked exchanged looks. Something suddenly felt off. It was one of those feelings that made your stomach flutter with excited nerves, and sent of a sudden battle between logic and impulse.

“Lila,” The boy asked placing his hand on my back. I snapped my head to look and blinked a few times.
“Whatsup?” I asked, pressing my lips together and taking a sip of my cup which I instantly regretted. In recent times I wasn’t much a drinker, being out of control was not m favorite feeling.
“Oh nothing, you just seemed sick for a second.”
“I’m fine,” I took another sip just to fill the brief pause in the conversaion, “What is this by the way?” It wasn’t normal for me to just take a drink. Especially from a stranger, past experiences have taught me to steer clear of the ‘every body’s a nice person theory’.
“Vodka and Fruit punch, do you want me to get you something else?” He scooted forward already half way off the couch. I took the chance to ask for water and watched him saunter away. Exhaling, my body fell back and it felt nice to close my eyes for a second.
Back to the night, a year ago from today.

Jade and Lisa convinced the rest of us to go; “What was the worst that could happen?” was the phrase that sent our feet walking. It felt like an hour had passed and it was becoming impossible to keep track of all the twists and turns in the path. Everything was blending together in the mass of darkness and the only sound was earth’s frequencies. No one was saying a word.
Until, “What’s up everyone,” Josh said in his loud excited squeak. Mixed responses spewed from all my friends, Jade and Lisa were of course fine for the moment but the rest of us were getting slightly psyched out.
“Are we almost there?” I looked at Josh’s silhouette; we were walking side by side, like usual, leading the group. I saw him look at back at me and in the glow of the moonlight his eyes sparkled with mischief; it wasn’t the normal reassuring look he gave me before every good night. Something was off.
“Yeah, the bridge is just around this corner!” Alex called from the back of the pack. Tension settled amongst the group.

“What bridge?” Megan snapped.

“Don’t worry, I made it myself.” Josh interjected, “It leads to our spot.”
I looked back at Megan, who was staring me down. I knew we both had that feeling, the one that is impossible to explain. Then there pure silence. My mind was wandering and things started to feel hazy. Until a distinct engine sound caught my attention, about half a mile out you could see glimpses of the road. A car was circling us. I looked at the girls, they heard it too. Our walking became jumpier, like we were on ice barefoot and just wanted to get out of there.

Another noise drew my attention; finally we made it to the bridge. It was five thick longs pathetically bound together so we could cross about five feet of water. Across the way a fire was going, we couldn’t see any one, but we heard them being drunk and obnoxious. Josh, Chris, and Alex crossed in seconds and started to join the others until they noticed we weren’t following. “Come on! What are you doing?” Chris called over with irritation in his voice. Alex and Josh mumbled something that didn’t sound friendly but the reaction to it was like a gunshot in a field of birds.

“I am not crossing that,” Katie said sounding hurried. Those words left her mouth and suddenly everything changed. My mind was blank before I realized we all had turned around to run away.

That night, in that moment was when everything changed. All those feelings rushed back and I snapped upright gasping. “Lila, what’s wrong?” The boy of the evening rushed to my side. He place both cups on the ground by our feet and gently place his hand on my back. It spooked me and I shot up,
“Sorry, I just have to go to the bathroom.” I scrambled away. In the small room, my sweaty palm gripped the counter. I forced myself to stare into my eyes in the mirror. “Stop this.” I repeated over and over again.
Nothing was working. Blackness was settling over me, I swung the door open rushing to go home. But, the kid was standing right there as if waiting for me. “I’m leaving, thanks for the drink.” I forced a smile and went to continue walking. He grabbed me.
“Let me drive you,”
“I don’t even know you,” I hissed and pulled away from him. People cooed goodbyes during my mad dash towards the door. I wanted nothing more than to just be sleeping in that second.
Finally getting to my car, I pulled my shoes and jacket off to throw in the back seat. Taking a seat I pulled my hair back and just gripped the wheel. A moment of dizziness came over me. But, I shook it off and started driving.


The familiar engine noise sent me back, I was basically driving blind watching my worst nightmare play before my eyes
We had stopped at least a hundred feet away in small clearing; panting and panicking Katie called our friend Emma. “You have to get us, were in the woods.” She sounded nervous and Emma mocked the tone immediately, her intense voice reached all our ear drums as she fired off questions.
That same car I heard before stopped time. We all dropped to the floor in a tight circle, keeping Emma on the line but with the phone face down to cover the light. It had parked and turned off its headlights, then the engine was killed. Pitch blackness made our hearts race. The next sound was even worse: door opening, door slamming shut, footsteps approaching.
This was it, I thought. We escaped some scary drunken murder scene and now our fate was only a few feet away, coming for us. Helplessness washed over me and like I was floating above my physical form I watched this entire situation take place. Seconds from death was nothing but an out of body experience. You can’t hear anything but the blood rushing in your ears and feel nothing but the suffocating tightness in your chest.
Everything stopped for a minute. There was startling noise coming from behind us now, thudding footsteps snapping twigs and branches as they raced our way. That was our moment; collectively the five of us stood and ran towards the feet. “Dad!” Katie called, trying to make it sound like an adult was with us and not just our scrawny friends.
Josh and Chris reached us; we all stood for a second. Just like that the car drove away. “Well are you coming back?” Josh asked us.
“Are you kidding?” I asked, truly wondering if this was some sick joke. “Get us out of here!” I exclaimed after a the two seconds in which he clearly chose not to answer.
“We brought you all this way to our secret spot and you’re like running away,” Josh started, but Megan interrupted.
“You act like you gave us some favor! We’re lost in the middle of nowhere and almost just got killed.” No response.
“F*** you guys,” I snapped and we all started running maniacally to at least get out of the woods. After a fight through a thorn bush we all eventually stumbled out into some misplaced suburbia backyard. Our sprint didn’t stop there though, we ran all the way until we were two lampposts away from the cross street.
We would’ve gone all the way to the end, but with out luck that night the first lamp was flickering. Naturally we thought it was haunted because directly across the street was some creepy church and cemetery. Everyone sat but me, because I was left to pace around trying to direct the frantic Emma to our location.

I slowed down for a red light. The roads in my town had become so familiar; driving them was practically muscle memory. That I was grateful for because the last mile I tried to battle of this dizziness that kept making my vision blurry. My hands gripped and released the wheel a few times as the light continued to be stuck at red. Just breathe Lila, I thought over and over again. My house was just a little further.
Finally the streetlight switched the green and I stepped on the gas. I was halfway through the intersection before something changed. My car was no longer in my control and yet it was still spiraling around in circles. I looked to my left and saw an empty square were my window use to be. Where was the glass? Was the last thing I thought before everything was blank.

Me, Katie, Megan, Jade, and Lisa were all walking in pure darkness. Josh’s road had no streetlights, but no one cared to notice earlier because it was sunny. So we walked in panicked silence towards his house hoping Emma was just down the road. There were four shirtless walking past us. A year ago they were laughing and silent and the only exchange was a hello. Now in my blurred memory they were screaming. It startled Jade and she started to cry.

I opened my eyes for a second. Jade wasn’t crying. I was crying. And everyone around me was screaming and racing around. Everything suddenly hit me, I was stuck my driver’s seat with jagged class sticking out of my skin in all directions. The pain was too much to bare, “Help!” I tried to scream but it was so hard to breath. It was easier to just stop.

The five of us left together and thankfully all of us were approaching Josh’s house. His dad was there to greet us. We needed our bags; they were in the backyard. Quickly we realized that was not going to be a simple task. “What are you doing?” He feet tripped over each other and he approached us from the top of the driveway.
“We have to go get our stuff,” Lisa sounded. His face had multiple expressions all within in one second.
“Let me come with you,” He offered in a too friendly tone to be comfortable with us at that point. We all stepped near each other clearly reacting to his statement. “Actually, I’ll just get it.”
“It’s easier if we just run back there, we’ll be fast.” Megan grabbed Lisa by the arm and pulled her towards the backyard before he even had a chance to respond.
Headlights came from behind, the rest of us jumped in the car so fast Josh’s dad probably didn’t even realize we were moving. Emma immediately fired off a thousand questions but no one said a word until Megan and Lisa were stuffed in the car. “Go, Emma, GO!” Katie hissed from the front seat.

“1, 2, 3 go.” Was a faint sound in my ear? Someone was pushing way to hard on my chest making everything that hurt feel so much worse. I was moving again. My body was strapped to a gurney in an ambulance flying down the roads at sixty miles an hour, but mentally I couldn’t even absorb that information. “We got her,”

The night didn’t end there. It wouldn’t make any sense for us to just idly sit after being tossed around the woods for a few hours. No, we had to scrape our minds together to find a way to tell Emma’s mother that it was my fault, Emma’s trunk was shattered. At some point during the crazed search for us, Emma backed her car into a trailer. Lisa was my neighbor, so she ditched out on us. Jade was hysterical, “Joey is picking me up,” She said through gasps trying to drink water. Joey was the new boy she was talking too and none of us had enough strength to talk her out of any stupid decisions.
Another hour passed before finally Megan, Katie and I just got to lie down. We left the lights on and didn’t say a word. We just listened and flinched at every sudden noise. Our bodies were exhausted but our minds stayed alert. This state lasted awhile. So long that Megan had to leave for dance class.
That sent Katie and I to my porch to chain-smoke and try to make small discussion of the night before. There was a calming rain, one that makes the whole earth smell sweet, that usually would have calmed me. But the conversation sent my heart into a tizzy making my eyes go tunnel vision.
On my feet, “I can’t see anything.” I started walking around. Katie had grabbed my arm and was leading me inside. “I’m blind.” Tears were falling from my eyes.
“Your fine, your gonna be fine,” Katie said over and over again in my ear until finally after a minute of walking around things slowly came into sight.


Your gonna be fine. Those words danced around my mind as my body; limp and pathetic lay peacefully on a hospital bed. I saw myself. Over a year ago, I made it home happy and alive. Now the fate of my life wasn’t even in my own hands.