Sleep comes easily to me tonight. Slow and shallow breaths emit from my body causing my chest to rise and fall occasionally. Then the dream begins. Even though I’m asleep, my body shivers violently. This is not just any dream, it’s a nightmare. Dreams and nightmares from previous days, months, and years run through my mind. They morph together and form clumps. My dreams are no longer dreams, for they are only filled with with terror. Dreams are poison weapons now, no longer inviting. The colors they turn are now a mixture of a dark cherry red, dark grey and light grey.

Within a flaming dark red and grey bubble, memories and nightmares meet. The last three years worse than the others, begin swirling inside the bubble. Terror after terror, they become one. Ominous dings ring out continuously. The memories speed up to an unrecognizable speed. Inside the bubble is what I truly feel, on the outside, it’s just a facade. The fiery bubble is surrounded by fake happiness, fake laughter, it’s a fake truth. The center of the bubble, the truth, causes rain to come crashing down. Fog glazes over every surface from the rain. Each bead of rain is its own story, taking torturous turns. Looking through them all, they continue to harshly plummet to the ground.

Once I realize that I scanned through them all, I regret it. Now you can no longer tell if the droplets on my cheeks are from the rain or my wailing. I shake violently as screams and shouts rip through my body. My knees buckle and I fall through the corner of my thoughts, then my eyes shoot open. With a shiver, I bang on the plaster of ice from the freezing water below. The water flow takes me with it as I continue banging my fists on the ice. At this moment, all my thoughts disintegrate and I focus on living past this terrifying moment.