Least He Woke Up | Teen Ink

Least He Woke Up

November 3, 2019
By deepthymukkara BRONZE, Cupertino, California
deepthymukkara BRONZE, Cupertino, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The gloom hovered over him. The bland gray clouds hid any speck of light and trapped him. He was trapped in the hollow walls of his home. He was buried in the endless prickle of raindrops. Each thud of rain sent piercing ache through his head. But as he turned the one thing that promised him relief, he could only see those empty orange vials piled on top of each other. His eyelids seemed to get heavier and heavier so he slowly let them drop. But all he could see was a sea of black that he was drowning in. But out of nowhere she emerged from the crashing waves. She stood there with a promising smile. With just one gasp she disappeared in mid-air. And when he opened his teary eyes and all he could see were those empty orange vials. He always woke up this aching feeling in his stomach. But all he could say was at least I woke up…


The author's comments:

In this set piece is trying to work with imagery, and I tried to use the same writing style as John Cheever’s set piece in the IBD. I like how this set piece expresses how miserable his life through figurative language and action, without actually saying it.


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