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Confused Confusion And Confusing MAG
Larry was, once again, studying for a test. He couldn't get a low grade on this - if he did, his parents would, in all probability, kill him. Not to mention the fact that his teacher would flunk him for this term.
Hmmmppphhh - let's see - if you do this, this should be cancelled out, except when you're chewing gum or are in a month with the letter R in it, or your name begins with the letters M or J. WHAT? he thought. He glanced around his room, searching for something to ease his confusion - but nothing accomplished this. He again looked down at his book, "Boy, am I confused."
"Are you indeed?" said a voice. "What a startling coincidence. So am I." He looked up, not only to see an odd looking man standing in front of him, but to see that he was no longer in his room. He was now sitting in the middle of a clearing with a short man dressed in strange clothes, worn backwards, standing a few feet in front of him.
"What, where am I?" Larry asked, not really expecting an answer.
"Why, you are in the town, city, state and country of Nowhere, of course. Hello, my name, as well as yours, I believe, is Confused," said Confused.
"What?" said Larry, now quite bewildered.
"Ooh - I'm afraid he isn't here right now, nor are any other of our cousins," said a voice from behind him. He turned to find a man, who, incidentally, looked exactly like Confused. "Allow me to introduce myself. Self, this is Confusion, Confusion, self, and I - ohh, my goodness, Confused, I didn't see you. How are you?"
"Oh, very well, I think. I've not been too confused lately. I hope I'll not become sane like our evil twins: Sane, Saner, and Sanest," replied Confused. Larry's head was now spinning.
"Let's see," he thought, "there's Confused, and Confusion, who look and sound exactly alike. And who have three twin brothers. Hmmm."
"My, my. Looks like some quite complicated and confusing and confusing and complicated homework," said Confused and Confusion at the same time. He noticed that they both were looking at his book which was formerly in his lap, but when he looked to his lap, instead of his book, there was a horribly cute and fuzzy bunny. He quickly whisked the bunny aside and rose to his feet. Looking at his lap to see what was in it now, he was quite surprised to find that his lap wasn't there.
"I wonder where my lap goes when I stand up," he thought. This was one of the questions that had bothered him for ages. He looked to Confused and Confusion, and was disturbed to see another man, looking exactly like the other two, walk up to them.
"Why, Confusing, how are you?" said Confused and Confusion, in perfect synchronization. "Larry, I and we would like you to meet my and our other brother, Confusing."
"Oh, boy," he said, under his breath. "This can't be happening."
"Dear boy, you must be new here, or we new to you. You should be warned that anything can happen in the town, city, state, and country of Nowhere," said Confused, Confusion, and Confusing, all together.
"Uhh. . .Yeah, could I have my book back?" he asked. Confused, Confusion, and Confusing looked at each other, smiled. Larry now noticed they each had a copy of his book. They simultaneously each threw copy of the book at him. He threw up his arms to shield himself, but, instead of hitting him, the books flew away, flapping their pages in the light breeze. "Hey, I needed that book to finish my homework."
"You have your book, foolish boy. You should learn to keep your eyes on it, or train your book to keep its eyes on you." said Confusing, pointing to the book which was now under Larry's arm. He nearly dropped it when he saw it.
Larry looked at the mixed-up but identical bunch in front of him, only to find they were standing in a circle around him.
"Now boy," said the three, "do you need help with your homework, or does your homework need help with you?.
"I need help with my homework, I think," he replied.
"First of all, you must not think in the town, city, state, and country of Nowhere. Secondly, you need to get rid of your confused, confusing, and confusion, and to do that, you need to get rid of us."
"Why?" he asked.
"Aren't you listening? Your ears should know better than to deny you the information given to them. Oh, no bother, you'll understand once we have left, or once you have gone." With this, they all produced very long ropes, seemingly from nowhere, and ran around, winding him up. "Fear not, you'll soon be rid of us, or we of you." Then, they started running around, or at least that's what he thought, since he was spinning so fast he couldn't see. He soon blacked out, and woke up in his room.
Wow, that was weird, he thought, "and confus- no, I won't even say it," he said. He proceeded to do his homework, without Confused, Confusing, or Confusion. When he looked at his lap, instead of finding a book, he saw a horribly cute and fuzzy bunny. At this moment his mother barged in the room.
"Are you daydreaming again?" she asked. "Well, I'm never going to buy you that rabbit you wanted until you overcome your confusion and pass this term."
"Ohhh, I don't think that will be a problem now," he said as he returned to the book in his lap. n