As I gazed inside the little orb, a grin reached across my face. I saw my world. My room, my walls, my hand and myself. But they were not mine. I reached up to touch my face. The smooth, tan complexion that reflected in that fisheye globe looked warm and soft. I smiled again in disbelief. My treasure had made my eyes a brighter green now. My hair tickled the bare skin on my shoulders and it made me laugh. I could gaze for hours more into its hypnotic image. It gave my flat world shape, color, beauty. I was seeing things anew. Never did I want to put down my planet. Night after night I would hold it close, falling asleep to my own beauty. Only once did I cheat, only once did I look away. I felt sad, scared. I hated the real world, it was nothing like mine. It was cold and ugly. I can’t even remember how hard life was before I held my glass toy. I can’t even remember how I got through school without it. I don’t even remember school period.
But I do remember them. Their snide laughter, their disapproving looks, how they look down on me. Oh, if they could see me in this glory, in this body. They would bow to me, they would never turn me away, they would never sneer. Instead, they would be the ones in the ugly world.
I always hear it call to me. “Don’t you want this body? This form? To touch this skin?” I long to grasp that world, feel its warm gaze, to be her. “Come on in, then. Come and take it if you can.”
Stop taunting me with that beauty. I want that beauty. I want it I want it I want it. How do I get there? Oh, please tell me how I get there? Can you pull me in? Can you take me away from all of this? Oh please, tell me how! I want out, I want in, I want to be you. I want you to suffer as I suffer, I want your perfection. Tell me! Tell me how to break through! I can’t live without it; I can’t live without you, stop laughing at me, and tell me!
You’re quiet. You’re silent. You won’t talk to me. You’re fading fast. You won’t let me have you? Then no one else can.
Goodbye, beautiful world. You were once perfection, now you’re splintered and tainted like this ugly world.