Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others | Teen Ink

Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others

January 22, 2011
By mrose13 PLATINUM, Petoskey, Michigan
mrose13 PLATINUM, Petoskey, Michigan
22 articles 1 photo 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be yourself, unless you suck" -Joss Whedon

Hypothetical Situation With Unrealistic Diction In The Dialogue That Persists In Ringing True:

Politician (confident): “So, because you all just yelled at me for the terrible economy, we have come up with a way to drive a really expensive, necessary good’s price down and provide more jobs. Thus, more of those who are unemployed can work and those who don’t have enough money, can have more because the fore mentioned ‘expensive yet nationally needed good’ will be less expensive. Yes, that’s right, we are going to make it totally legal to drill oil where ever you want, so that we can give more people more jobs and hopefully drive the prices of oil down.”

Person Who Lives In America And Can Thus Whine And Get Substantial Results Because They Are Loud And Those Politicians Need His/Her Votes (this person will be referred to as PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV for the remainder of the piece) (outraged): “But what about the animals being hurt by unlimited oil drilling?”

Politician (cool and polite, a little confused): “One, people are animals too. Two, you guys wanted me to fix the economy, this really helps. Three, if I fix the fiscal situation, then I’ll have more resources to deal with environmental problems. I’m choosing practical goals that allow America to eventually solve problems we thought impossible to solve before hand. So I’m making a fairly significant fix in the economy, which will open up more possibilities. If American’s have more resources, then they can start new businesses and hire more employees. In turn, this will increase how much tax money the government gets. That way, we will eventually have a healthy economy and enough money to work on finding green fuels and fixing the enviroment.”

PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV: “But that doesn’t change that you are hurting animals! How can you justify that?”

Politician (polite, a little incredulous): “Umm…. I kind of just did. But I’ll elaborate if you want. On my first point, people are animals too. We can’t survive without electricity. If the government stops oil companies from drilling than we will lose oil we need to live. And, I’m pretty sure that every person would choose their life over another animals. If you don’t then you are much less selfish than I… or you are lying. On point two, you were the ones who wanted a solution. That’s what I’m doing. Moving on to three, I’m taking the practical goal. I am being logical. Also, extending that, you can’t solve the environment when you are in a crippling depression.”

PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV (self righteous): “But it is wrong to hurt animals! They may not be cute, but that doesn’t mean you can kill them! And that includes me. Calling me a liar is hurtful and uncalled for!”

Politician (frustrated): “I didn’t call you a liar. I just- you know what never mind. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV (angry): “You selfish monster! How dare you call me names while you murder innocent animals like crocodiles or kittens!”

Politician (really annoyed): “I apologized! I just explained and elaborated. You, on the other hand, have just repeated your accusation! Plus, animals only get hurt if mistakes are made. Mistakes can happen, but they don’t necessarily.”

PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV (snippy): “You selfish jerk! You lie when you can’t dodge my questions!”

Politician (see above): “Fine! I won’t do that! I’ll stop the oil companies from drilling where ever they want to, I won’t let them make those jobs, but at least I’ll get you all off my back and the stupid environment will be safe! Or at least it will be until you are back here complaining about how you don’t have any electricity.”

PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV (satisfied): “I’ll let your heartbreaking jab about the ‘stupid environment’ go because you finally aren’t being a jerky, selfish, stupid, idiotic, monster.”

Politician (less annoyed): “Finally!”

PWLIAACTWAGSRBTALATPNHV (demanding): “What are you doing about the economy?”

Politician (the words explain the tone): “RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The author's comments:
"Stop whining! Grown ups don't complain and neither should teenagers. If you will excuse me, I have to watch the news then go to a rally that explains to the government what morons they are being."

hmm.... does anyone else notice the flaw in the above statement's logic?

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