For The Sake of Propriety | Teen Ink

For The Sake of Propriety

March 29, 2011
By Lilacs_Smell_Wonnerful PLATINUM, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Lilacs_Smell_Wonnerful PLATINUM, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
40 articles 2 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and watch everyone look at you in amazement. :)

Evangeline: Main Character
Mother Johnson: Evangeline’s Mother
Edward: Evangeline’s Beau (Whom her mother picked for her.)
Father Johnson: Evangeline’s father.

(This section of dialogue occurs right after Evangeline decides she will stand up for herself.)

Mother Johnson: “And then, of course, there is the wedding. Isn’t that right, darling?”

(Mother Johnson bestows a look on her daughter, not fond, but demanding.)

Evangeline: “No mother, that is wrong. There will be no wedding.”

(Evangeline speaks softly, not even looking up from the embroidery she is working on.)

(Mother Johnson starts, but then a sly smile comes to her face.)

Mother Johnson: “But darling, it is expected, think of all the talk that would occur… Everyone expects this marriage. And what about our finances? How could your father and I keep this house if the marriage does not carry through?”

(Evangeline still concentrates on her embroidery)

Evangeline: “Mother, I will not marry Edward. There will be no wedding.”

(Edward starts suddenly, blinks his eyes rapidly, and turns from where he was looking into the fire to stare at Evangeline.)

Mother Johnson: “How dare you speak to me like that? Evangeline! After all I have done for you, all the careful planning and long hours that went into your upbringing, you would dare to tell me no?”

Evangeline: “Yes mother, I would dare.”

(Evangeline stops, standing up suddenly and throwing her embroidery aside.)

Evangeline: “I would dare to say that I do not love Edward. I would dare to say that even though my upbringing was carefully planned, it was lacking in love, joy, and all else that is necessary for a child to be happy. And I most certainly would dare to say that I hate, and have always hated, your wig!”

(Evangeline rips the wig from Mother Johnson’s head, throws it to the floor, and thoroughly stomps on it.)

(Father Johnson’s eyes barely lift from his newspaper.)

Father Johnson (to himself in a quiet voice): “I never fancied that wig myself.”

Mother Johnson: “Aaah!”

(Mother Johnson’s hands fly to her head, and then she bends and hastily grabs the wig and puts it back on, slightly askew.)

(Evangeline straightens her shoulders, and turns to face Edward.)

(Father Johnson puts down his newspaper, looking about and starting to take an interest in things.)

Evangeline (to Edward): “You, sir, are a stuffed-up, buffoon-faced, bottom-padded, coddled-milk-complexioned excuse of a man. I do not love you; I daresay I do not even like you. I have put up with your disgraceful company for the sake of propriety. But no more sir! Your conversation is dull, your attitude lacks charm, and your eyes, your blasted eyes, they goggle.”

(Edward gets red in the face and he stutters, starting to speak.)

Evangeline: “No sir! Do not open those horrendously wide and fat lips of yours. All that can come out of those hideous appendages is something that you have read in a book. You cannot think of one comment straight from your own head. So do not speak, you roly-poly, mismatched, brainless lump! Simply turn, walk to the door, and leave.”

(Edward exits, looking rather confused.)

(Father Johnson looks at the door Edward left through.)

Father Johnson (in a thoughtful voice): “His eyes do tend to goggle…”

The author's comments:
I wrote this scene for a creative writing course, but did not finish the play because (a) I thought it sounded too much like something Jane Austen would write, (b) I had not done this whole segment in correct playwriting format, and (c) I came up with a better idea. But still, I think at least some people will get a chuckle from the original insults I came up with. :)

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