Dear Trix Cereal,

I am a loyal follower of your glorious mission to spread the word of Trix throughout the nation. Every Saturday morning I attend the Disney stations with my family and neighbors. We feel comforted when the multicultural children repeat those words of wisdom, “all part of a nutritious breakfast.” I thank you graciously before pouring my milk at breakfast, after school, and sometimes again in the evening as a midnight snack. Never do I return to bed before first reading a passage from the back of the box and completing the maze. And when I find myself under the powerful temptation of oatmeal, I always remember to chant to myself, raspberry red, orangey orange, lemony yellow, and grapady grape.

In the past the accursed white rabbit's various disguises as balloon salesmen and French waiters have been ridiculed. But times have changed! Trix consumers have shown their support with submissions of millions of box tops and by bestowing Trix down rabbit holes and in backyards during easter! So let the rabbit mix his yogurt until he sees that satisfying shade of purple! And let him sample the artificial dyes and experience the enlightening taste of milky cough-syrup!