She could still remember how he smelled freshand soothing, like a warm breeze on a cool autumn day. She couldremember exactly how he looked, from the over-gelled hair (she alwaysthought it was cute) to the hands roughened from years of barn work andthe nails bitten to the quick. Nail biting was a habit they shared. Theyshared many things, but these were those they never spoke of.

Sheremembered his smile, how it crept slowly and carefully onto his face,as if he weren't really sure it was okay. She remembered how comfortinghe was to be around, how safe and warm she felt when he hugged her,touched her face or hand.

He was tall, much taller than she.Barefoot, she barely reached his shoulder - and she was tall for herage. He was almost painfully thin, which coupled with height and anincredibly pale complexion made him seem a haunted soul.

Hisvoice was low but lilting, the one thing that could give away his moodno matter how hard he tried to conceal it. When he was sad his voicewould drop to a whisper and shake as if he were trying to keep in checkthe pain he never let himself feel. But when he was happy he was playfuland his voice, his entire demeanor, changed. His voice would raise andhe would joke.

She loved his eyes the most, though. Wide andheavily lashed, they were the richest, most delicious shade of chocolatebrown. His eyes held a depth rarely seen in a teenager, that told ofsleepless nights and the agony he had suffered, of the quiet pulse oflife he still clung too, of the shield he had made from his ragged soul.His eyes were guarded, but she knew how to look through them into hissoul and see a mirror of her own. His eyes could convey a thousand wordswhen he was unable to speak. She would lose herself in his eyes often,for she felt safe there. Hidden from the world for the briefest ofinstants (which felt like eternity played on an endless loop), she wouldhide from her pain. Here, she could wrap herself in his soul, in hisvery being, and stay safe. Here, she was allowed to be who shewas.

She could love him. She had loved him. She still loved him.And in the end, that's what drove them apart. She could.