The Grub N’ Go on Martin Street has seven aisles, and on the back wall there are freezers and refrigerators with every kind of soda and flavor of ice cream in existence. My mom gave me forty bucks and a list longer than my five year old sister’s list for Santa. I wanted to get in and out in time to get ready before going to the seven o’clock showing of “Starlight” with Erin, and it was already quarter past six. I grabbed one of the ratty green plastic baskets from the floor next to the entrance, and speed walked down the aisles, grabbing things from the list as I went.
Cereal, peanut butter, bread, eggs, and milk, and a bottle of Coke. Most stuff in the store didn’t even have normal brand names, they were just made by the Grub N’ Go main factory, probably out in Iowa somewhere. Normally, I would mind. I would look for a brand name that I had actually heard of, and I would check the expiration date. But not today. Grub N’ Go was my friend. Cheap prices, not too many options, I’d be out of here in plenty of time.
As the list got shorter, I started looking for the check-out counter with the shortest line. All three of them were open, and the clerks stood stiff like little check-out soldiers. I grabbed a box of cookies, and headed toward the nearest counter, number 1.
The checkout lady there had tight grey curls, and it looked like the folds of her skin had been pinched together in an eternal smile. Her cheeks were a cherry red, but I couldn’t tell if it was from the heater being full-blast or if she just put on too much make up. The second choice seemed more likely, as her mascara made her eyelashes look so long that a little kid could slide down them, into the blue pools of her eyes below. Her lipstick was a blinding Barbie pink, and as she began to talk, I noticed bit of the color was caught on her front tooth.

“Did you find everything you needed?”
“What? Oh…yeah”
“Well that’s good. Here at Grub N’ Go it’s our mission to give you friendly, efficient service”
“mhmm”
“I noticed you buy Pretty Paws catnip. That’s our most popular brand”
“cool”
“Do you have any feline friends at home?”
“I’m buying catnip, aren’t I?”
“Oh, ho! You got me there! What’s the cute kitty’s name?”
“Moritz”
“Well that’s a creative name. Why did you name him that?”
“It’s a character in a play.”
“Oh, really?”
“He kills himself”
“oh… well that’s not good, is it?”
“Nope.”
“Would you like paper or plastic bags today?”
“You choose.”
“Well isn’t that nice of you! Hmm…well plastic will save our planet, but it is much harder to carry.”

“Don’t have too much fun, there”
“You’re right, I think I’ll go with plastic. Can’t love our beautiful Earth too much, now can we?”
“um hmm”
“Your total comes to thirty-four seventy-one.
Thank you for shopping at Grub N’ Go! Have a wonderful day!”

Next time, I’m buying the groceries at A&P. People are miserable there.