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The Nelly Towers (based on Spongebob episode)
Blitz: The protagonist; a 14-year old girl who is very stupid, wimpy and fun. She is underweight, but she eats a moderate amount. She comes from a middle class family. Her ethnicity is African American.
Seyonce: Blitz's best friend; she is also 14-years old. She is overweight and has a tub of lard hanging over her jeans most of the time.
LaSierra: The deuterotagonist/antagonist; she is 14 1/2, and as a result, she thinks she's more mature; however, she's very stuck up. She does not like Blitz or Seyonce at all.
Chanet: Their boss at the Nellydale Mall.
Medford: A little deprived town I made up in Washington. No concerts are held there, the President never comes and it's not even on a map. Blitz, Seyonce and LaSierra all work at the Nellydale Mall, a mall located in the Medford Plaza.
I hope you enjoy my first attempt at a Teen Ink story!
The Nelly Towers!
LaSierra and Blitz were walking to Nellydale's, the mall that everyone in the small town of Medford adored, because it was the only place that sold clothes. Blitz was telling her a story. "And so when I went to do a recount of all the clothes, they were all there after all! I guess that was just me being paranoid." LaSierra stopped in her tracks. "Blitz, do you see what I see?" "No. YES!" The Nellydale's mall was 8 stories high! They walked inside to find Chanet. "Hey, Chanet, what's with the hotel getup?" LaSierra asked. "Well, remember when I went to stay at that fancy Four Seasons hotel in Malibu? Ugh! That place had everything. Food when you wanted it, people catering to your every whim, and even an outdoor pool!"
"An outdoor pool?!" Blitz asked, incredulously. Washington was too cold for an outdoor pool.
"The Four Seasons is in Malibu?!" LaSierra shouted.
"What I like the most was their rule: Ignore no guest, even the most dysfunctional request. Everything was all peachy-keen. Until I got the bill!! They charged for everything! How long you stayed, the food you ate, how many times you rang the frickin' command bell!!! So that's why I decided to create The Nelly Towers! I'll be filthy stankin' rich, I tell ya!"
"But Miss Chanet," said Blitz, confused. "Nellydale's was doing just fine."
"Yeah, but my mortgage...and the economy...anyways! Your new posts! Blitz, put this uniform on." She handed Blitz a blue and gold dress. "You are the waitress/room service person/maid."
Chanet was so dumb that she didn't know the room service person and the maid were the exact same person.
"Your job is to take orders to different guests and serve them food and clean up afterwards. Do you cook?"
"Uhm....I can make really killer good poached eggs--"
"Good enough. And LaSierra. We'll need for your sour attitude to not interfere with the guest's relaxation. You'll be the cashier." "What?!" LaSierra screamed. "Why would Medford need a hotel anyway? It's in the middle of nowhere!" "That attitude is just why you're being demoted to a cashier. To your posts!" Blitz ran upstairs to start cleaning the rooms. LaSierra took her place behind the desk. Chanet stood there and observed.
Just then Seyonce walked in. "LaSierra! What happened to the Nellydale mall? This is right where it should be!" "This is a hotel, Seyonce." "A huh? Don't you mean motel?" Medford didn't have hotels, just motels. Dirty, cheap, undersized motels.
"Well, if you don't want anything...."
"No, I do! Can I have a skirt and make it a size large. Extra large, extra EXTRA large. In fact, just make it an XXX. My hips don't feel like squeezing into a size zero for Clingy anymore. They're a bit flabby today." Seyonce shook them and flab jiggled from side to side.
"If you want a skirt, you'll have to order a room and pay for it."
Seyonce pulled a couple of dimes out of her pocket. "I don't have much, will this account for it?"
"....No. Just sign in here." LaSierra pushed a notebook to Seyonce. "What?! A test? I didn't study! I'm going to fail!"
"Danggit, you stupid-fart-faced-" "LaSierra Avenuez!" Chanet scolded. "You do not talk to the customer that way! You want to lose your salary?" Then she said to Seyonce. "Just write your name."
"Oh, okay." She covered the paper as she wrote. And wrote. And wrote. "Gosh, darnnit, girl! How long it take to write your name on a piece of paper?" Seyonce handed it to her. The notebook had tons of pages used up. And Seyonce didn't even write her name! She made a little flipbook of a man dancing with a cane! "Eh, close enough. Now, LaSierra. You may carry Seyonce's bags to her room."
LaSierra looked down and saw bags where Seyonce was standing. "How does she have bags? She just found out this was a hotel!!!!" "This is a hotel?" she asked and looked around. LaSierra tried to lift Seyonce's bags, but they were too heavy! She put them down to take a break.
"Sheesh, Seyonce! What's in here, weights?" She opened the suitcase and a bunch of weights tumbled out. "What the....weights?! Seyonce, why do have weights in your suitcase?!" Blitz seemed to come out of nowhere.
"Her new year's resolution was to start working out and ever since then, she's been carrying a bag of weights with her wherever she goes. She never knows when the urge will hit." "Wait," LaSierra clarified. "I thought your resolution was to start working out, Blitz." "It was. We switched. Now I'm the one taking pottery lessons over at the Medford Rec. Center. And I must say, my artistic skills have increased tenfold!" Chanet stared at her blankly. "Okay, I don't know how the heck we got on this subject, but Blitz, you go and grab Seyonce a size "XXX" large-" Blitz ran off to do what she was told- "and LaSierra, go put those in Seyonce's room!!!! Seyonce, you can go to the arcade on the 4th floor." "Cool!" She said and skipped into the elevator.
LaSierra began trudging the bags into the elevator.
"This could be a workout for me, too-" "Ahem!" Chanet cleared her throat. "What are you doing?" "I'm going to Seyonce's room." "Not in that elevator, you're not!" "But why does Seyonce get to go?" "Because she's the guest." "But....but-" "Ignore no guest, even the most dysfunctional request!" Chanet shouted, quoting the plaque. "Stupid plaque," LaSierra grumbled and took the stairs.
LaSierra was given a watch that would beep whenever Seyonce needed her. It beeped as soon as she got upstairs. She marched into Seyonce's room.
"WHA--I mean.....what would you like, Seyonce?" "This burger is cold," she said. LaSierra looked from the cold burger to the microwave. "There's a microwave right there, Seyonce." "Yeah, but.....but it's also wet." LaSierra reached over and felt it. "No, it isn't! And it's not cold either! Did you ring that button because you just wanted me to give you company?" Seyonce struggled for a moment. ".....Fine! But can you blame me? Blitz is off running errands so I have no one to talk to!" "Call Jamie or Clingy or something!" "I can't! Clingy won't talk to me and Jamie? I don't know what her problem is. She's become an environmental freak and she's been all moody and stuff. I think it's her time of the month." "As much as I'd love to stand here and listen to your problems, I really have to get back to work." "Wait!"
"LaSierra.....Are you happy?"
BOOM!!! LaSierra slammed the door and ran out. She had to get to the lobby to ask for a break before that stupid watch beeped. She was speeding down the stairs so speedy fast, so fast that it was beyond comprehension fast and BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! It took LaSierra by surprise and she fell down the stairs. Once she regained consciousness, she was met by a frowning Chanet. "LaSierra, stop goofing around. Last time I heard, there was a beep, which means you have to tend to our guest. Now git!"
"What do you want now, Seyonce?" LaSierra demanded. Seyonce was lying down in a mood of total relaxation. "Can I get another burger? And-and can you take off the meat, bun, pickles, lettuce, tomato and ketchup? Can I get one of those? And can I have 60 cups of it?"
"......You want a roomful of mustard?!"
"I don't tell you how to live your life." LaSierra stomped downstairs.
"CHANET!!!!" LaSierra interrupted Chanet playing solitaire on a computer. "Chanet, Seyonce is being totally unreasonable!" "She can be as unreasonable as she wants, Lassie. Remember the plaque--ignore no guest even the most dysfunctio--" LaSierra stuck a sock in her mouth. "You remind me of that plaque again, Imma kill you." "You threaten me, you're fired." said Chanet, spitting out sock-juice. "You can't fire me, I quit!" LaSierra ripped off her uniform, tore it up in tiny little pieces and threw them at Chanet and stomped out.
A moment later, she came back in, in a sundress, flip-flops, sunglasses and a magazine like she was on vacation. "I would like one room please," she said to Chanet, smirking. "You'll have to wait one moment--LaSierra? Is that you? But you just quit a second ago." "Well, I'm tired. I'm overworked. My job is a real labor pain. Rent me a room." "I don't have to rent you a room." "The plaque," LaSierra reminded Chanet. "Ignore no guest, even the most dysfunctional request. Now, Blitz, I want you to carry my bags to my room-" she got right on it -"and, Chanet, you're going to carry me to my room. On the top floor, that is." She gasped loudly. "That is despicable! That is just low-down right there." "Ignore no guest, even the most dysfunctional request. And take the stairs." Chanet got to work carrying LaSierra to her room.
"It's too bad you can't take the stairs, but you are an employee." Chanet dropped her. They met up with Blitz. "Blitz, I want a burger." LaSierra commanded. Blitz started out of the room. "Wait!" LaSierra called. "I want it with onions, toe jam and ear wax." Chanet gasped. "And I want it here in 5 seconds." Blitz returned with it in 3 seconds. "Well," Chanet bragged. "You've got your rotten sandwich. Now eat it." "Oh, if you think I'm going to eat this, you must have sand in your brain," said LaSierra. "You're going to eat it." Chanet gasped. "That is dispolible!" "That isn't a word," said Blitz. "And plus, that isn't really a burger with onions, toe jam and earwax." Chanet giggled. "Oh, I get cha. All right, Lassie, I'll eat this for you." Chanet took a great big bite. She hadn't eaten in 6 hours. A moment later, she coughed all of it up! There was toe jam in her gums, onions in her teeth and earwax smeared on her tongue! LaSierra collapsed laughing! Chanet was enraged. "BLITZEN!!!!" "Sorry, Miss Chanet. We were all out of mustard." "I'm still hungry." LaSierra complained. "The cafe's out back," Chanet tried to walk away. "Hold it. I want room service. Give me a baker's dozen muffins just like Grammy used to make."
A moment later, Chanet returned with hot and fresh blueberry muffins. She knocked on LaSierra's door. LaSierra opened the door, sniffed the muffins, took the tray, walked inside her room, went to the bathroom and flushed them down the toilet. "Hey!" Chanet protested. "What gives? I worked hard on those." "These aren't like Grammy used to make at all." "Well, how did your grandma make them?" "How should I know? Ask my Grammy!" And with that, LaSierra slammed the door!
Chanet and Blitz crept up to LaSierra's Grammy's house. They rung the doorbell. Grammy answered the door. "Why hello--" She gasped! Chanet and Blitz were in ski masks! But all ended well. Pretty soon, they were loading the car with delicious cookie treats for LaSierra! Blitz tried hard to push them in. "Chanet, it's stuck!" Grammy pushed LaSierra out of the way and slammed on the car, closing the cookie sack. "Let's go make some muffins, girls!" "Yeah!!!!"
"Here are your Grammy muffins," Chanet presented the cookies to the lazy brat. LaSierra snatched a muffin and ate it all in one bite. "Mmm," she commented. "These are just like Grammy used to make! I just wish Gram was a better cook."
"Now is there anything else in the world that you need, brat?" Chanet asked. "Uh,
one more thing. I want to go swimming." "The pool's out back." LaSierra laughed hysterically. "I'm not going outside to swim!"
Once Chanet brought the pool into LaSierra's room, Seyonce and Blitz came in for a ride! "Come on in, the water's fine!" LaSierra, kicking around in the pool, called to Blitz and Seyonce. "You guys have a pool too?!" Seyonce cried happily. "Oh my gosh! This place has everything!" Blitz did a cannonball in the water, shouting: Cowabunga!!!!!! Water splashed on Chanet. Seyonce dove into the water like a graceful Pocahontas. "Well, I did everything in the world you wanted me to do," said Chanet. "Anything else the princess wants?" LaSierra thought for a moment. "No." "You don't need me to scratch your back for ya, or spoon feed you all your meals, or bargain with God to make summer longer and winter shorter?!" "Nope. I'm good." "Me too!" said Blitz. "Me three!" said Seyonce. Suddenly, a rumbling under the floor commenced. Then, the pool fell through all of the 8 stories of the Nelly Towers, crushing everyone right down with it!
Chanet, Seyonce, Blitz and LaSierra were all in casts at the hospital and groaning like the mighty dead. Chanet broke an arm and an ankle. Blitz broke both her legs. Seyonce broke a fracture of her head and LaSierra only chipped a tooth and broke a tendon. "I knew that hotel was a bad idea from the start," Chanet groaned. "Why'd I let y'all talk me into it?" LaSierra turned to her. "I'm going to let you get away with that because you broke my fall, but another statement like that and you'll have two broken arms!" Before Chanet could say anything (and she was), a friendly doctor woman girl came in. "How's everyone feeling?" All together, everyone said, "Eh...good....not awful.....alright.....TERRIBLE!!!!" LaSierra hollered at the end. "So sorry to hear that, Sweetie," said the doctor. "Now here are the forms you need to fill out. I'm guessing you're in charge of these girls?" She handed the forms to Chanet, covered her ears and ran out. Chanet looked at the sheet and grabbed her heart, hyperventilating. "You're not going to have another heart attack, are you?" LaSierra asked. "Not at these prices! You can forget hotels! You girls are going to medical school!"