My grandmother and grandpa, who I have always called just Grandma and Poppy, have told my little sister and me at least a thousand times this remarkable and funny story of them venturing to the Tomoka River. Grandma and Poppy decided to go fishing in the Tomoka River on a gorgeous sunny day in the little town of Ormond Beach. Them being an older couple in their fifties, of course they required all of the professional gear. Dressed in their life vests, sneakers, khaki shorts, and loose t-shirts they had cast nets, $200 fishing poles, a live bait bucket, enormous kit of hooks and lures, reeking of sunscreen, and maintain a grip onto the excitement of catching trout or flounder.
Now, Poppy and Grandma like any other fishers loved to have the catch of the day but they were also quite all right with not catching anything at all. They simple just loved being in the river, fishing. In a little wooden canoe, they paddled along to different places on the Tomoka. However, every time they wanted to go to a different location my grandma would sit in the canoe while Poppy would push off the dock. Well, of course my grandmother, being the stubborn woman she is, decided that she wanted to push of the dock instead. My grandpa kept telling and telling Grandma to get in the stupid canoe. He insisted even, “No, I’ll do it just sit your butt down in the canoe and I’ll do it!”
Now of course he didn’t say “butt”, instead he said a word that starts with an “a” and ends with “ss”. After continuous demands from my grandpa, Grandma impulsively attempted to step in the canoe but instead of actually getting away from the dock she tipped the entire canoe over.
With my grandma still standing on the dock and my grandpa under the tipped canoe all the fishing lures, tackle box, fishing poles, and everything was gone. Completely gone. Floating or sinking to the bottom of the infamous Tomoka River. Infuriated as Poppy was Grandma was just standing there laughing so hard she was crying. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world and my grandpa being extremely mad; it made it even funnier for her. Even though she had probably just lost about $500 worth of fishing equipment she still found a way to make my grandpa even more upset by laughing at him being completely drenched in water, head to toe. My grandpa said some words under his breath that was probably best not heard at all by anyone except them because boy, did he swear like a sailor or what.
A young couple in their thirties passed by in their canoe and obviously saw what had happened. My grandpa swears that the boyfriend told his girl not to look at them because the couple instinctively looked the direct opposite way until they were out of sight of my soaking wet grandpa and completely dry grandma.
Later on, when my grandpa and grandma were getting the canoe out of the water and strapping it down to the hood of their car they saw the same young couple again beginning to do the same and Poppy called out to them, “You guys must be canoeing wrong. You’re still dry.”
And then they all started laughing.