I will be 8 years and 0 days on November 19th, 2024. The date of today is Tuesday, November 12th, 2024. When I was born, which was on November 19th, 2016, my mother thought I was a girl but then the doctor set her straight on all of that and she was very disappointed she could not name me her favorite name, that’s Seraphina  (but happy she had a little boy) and then she super quick had another baby and that was also a boy, that’s my brother Eliot, that’s so annoying, and then she finally finally had a girl on June 8th, 2020 and that’s my sister, Seraphina. Only Finn says Seraphina is a stupid name so she goes by Finn, that’s a part of her name, only kind of, because in Seraphina you say the middle part like FEEN but she does it like what’s on a fish, that’s Finn. I also have an older sister, only she’s just my dad’s and not my mom’s, from a previous marriage, that’s why her name is Juliette not Seraphina and she goes to college in Chicago called University of Chicago, I never talked to her or seen her. Yesterday night I recorded my song, or the favorite one I have number six on my album I was going to release that’s called Impossible Anything, the song is called Tonight and it’s about the stars. I think it’s very genius, Eliot thinks it’s by a professional that makes me proud, my mom cries when she hears it because the world is ending on Tuesday, Finn doesn’t pay attention ever, and my dad doesn’t hear it at all, that’s because he’s deaf. My dad works from 10 AM to 6 PM Mon through Thurs and then only till 5 PM Fri. His job is being the manager of a deaf organization. He became deaf in an accident at the age of eleven and he will not tell me what happened. He still works up until today, is because apparently the deaf people still need advocates. A lot of people don’t work, that’s like restaurants and bus drivers and things. Is because on Tuesday, the whole world is gone! Like that!

I recorded that song because of Penelope Shriver, who sits three seats to my left in fast track math and she is very smart. This is what she looks like. Penelope has orange hair that goes in a zigzag cut, on one side it’s at her ear and the other at her shoulder. Her hair is not dyed, that’s what she said to Evie her friend. She wears lots of colored clothing, big earrings, and her eyes are so green they look like paint. Then they have little blue sparklies in them that remind me of sky, they’re not sky. She has some freckles, maybe 25, and she does not wear lip gloss because it enhances society’s perfectionist image of the American female plus it is disgusting. She is four feet, ten inches, and not too skinny and not too fat. She likes to walk in the park alone and listen to White Stripes on her music player. I listened to that band, they sounded Dutch. Apparently they’re not. Anyways I don’t care much for them.

My mother says I should sign with a record label ha ha ha crying, but I don’t know why it’s funny. Finn laughs too all the time when other people laugh, my mother says she’s a burst of sunshine, my father says I wish I could hear her laugh. I sometimes wish I was deaf like my father, so no outside noise. But I sure do like it when Finn laughs! Her laugh is so super loud and because she doesn’t even know what’s going on she’s not laughing at anything, just because she can. It’s cool to do that sort of stuff. I breathe just cause I can, I mean a whole one week from today I won’t be able to anymore because Jesus is coming to pick us all up like in a school bus. Well at least everyone round here, is what Preacher James says, so I sure do hope that means us! Oh! I forgot! Penelope.

So, this morning I showed up in fast track math and oh look at that, no teacher. We all got about ready to leave, since it’s last class in the day, then someone came in and said: “Hi, I’m Mr. Brinley. I am a volunteer administrator. We just wanted to inform you that due to impending circumstances, this will be the last day of classes at St. Francis’. You can meet here in the future for recreational purposes, but it is no longer a state-sanctioned entity. Thank you, have a nice day.” That means we don’t go to school any longer because the teachers, they don’t want to show up. I was a little upset they didn’t tell me earlier, is a problem, but it’s okay. I think tomorrow what I’ll do is bake a cake, carrot kind my mom likes, then we’ll eat that after lunch as lunch dessert. Now we have two desserts each day. That’s because only seven days left so consequences not what they used to be. And, if I eat two desserts, for example three peanut butter cups the big kind and two scoops ice cream, and I don’t feel full and sick, sometimes there’s another dessert, such as a piece of store cake. My very favorite is toffee but that’s not so common anymore since no one wants to make it. Oh well, I eat peanut brittle Dad makes instead. His secret recipe is maple syrup.

After they let us leave fast track math, I walked over to the corner where mom meets me 3:07 each and every day to pick me up, started when she quit her day job in 2020. She used to be a paralegal. Anyway, look at that, no Mom! So I took out my purple cell phone and I dialed in all the digits for my Mom, is a multiple of three but I’m not telling what, secret. Mom picked up, she said “Oliver, I’m so sorry, I was going out to the Chinese market and I the tire went flat as a pancake so AAA is on its way and I’ll be there as soon as possible.” My mom, she sometimes says ASAP, sometimes as soon as possible. I wish she chose but what can you do. So, I was on the corner and look at that, there’s a man he’s homeless. So I take three dollars, fifty-six cents, is what I have change in my pocket from breakfast lemon pound cake at the corner store this morning. I gave it to him, he said thanks, then up came behind me Penelope and look at that, she counts her money and it’s one dollar, forty-four cents! And I am so amazed, so is Penelope! We look at each other and look at that, it’s five dollars perfect when you add it together! Penelope’s eyes are very wide, almost maybe like a squid eye, and she says whoa that’s a cool coincidence. I do not know what to say, I just say “Five dollars!” because that’s a true thing, not weird.

Then Penelope says “Hey Oliver, will I see you before Armageddon?” I ask her what’s that. She says “Nothing,” laughs, I say I’m curious. That’s a nice way of saying you need to tell me or otherwise it’s mean. She says it means end of the world. I say I prefer Jesus, he got lonely. She says ha ha, well why doesn’t he make friends with the dead people then? I say he does, just they’re all pretty old so they only talk about old things. What I don’t say is, Jesus, he’s pretty old too! She says she doesn’t know. I think Penelope isn’t happy, so I say I’m not happy too, my mom isn’t picking me up yet because her tire is flat. Penelope says oh really I thought you might be unhappy about the world ending but oh well to each their own. I think it’s to each his own, is what, but she’s a girl so I’m allowed to tell her, or not? I don’t know. Because maybe I might be a sexist.

So Penelope, she says “Bye then Mr. Oliver see you when I see you.” I say actually, it’s Mr. Journey, Journey is my last name, she says I’m Miss Shriver to you then and I say “Bye Miss Shriver” and just then my dad pulls up in his car, that’s a Honda! It’s red. Penelope walks away, and I get into my dad’s car and I look him straight so he sees my mouth and ask him why is he here. He says he got out early. Also he says we’re getting Finn, is what, makes me sad because she sometimes is so loud! And my dad doesn’t even say quiet Finn because he doesn’t hear her at all! Anyway so we drive drive drive 3.2 miles to where Finn is at Ma’s house, that’s my grandma, she’s my mom’s mom. My dad’s mom, she died of rhabdomyosarcoma, that’s cancer, when I was three. I didn’t go to the funeral because I was too little and anyways dad he never talks to her, is because one time she said something is very mean about Mom because Mom, her parents are Thai. She looks different, is what, but bad to say that in a mean way. I think she’s pretty, is because her hair is very long and dyed black and she has very nice white skin. I guess Dad too thinks she’s pretty! I sure hope so!

My mom’s dad, she doesn’t have one, well I guess he never lived with them anyways but he’s Thai. My mom’s mom, she never talks in Thai. I don’t know is why. My dad’s dad, he had a heart attack, is because he ate so much! And also congenital heart defect, that’s when his heart had a hole since he was a baby. So I guess it’s both, like a double whammy. Anyway, Finn loves Ma so much, they stay together all the time! So we drive quick quick over to Ma’s house and I go out and I ring ring ring the doorbell until Ma comes up and she says hi and then Finn follows and she says hi and then I say alright then Finn dad’s waiting and Ma says I really must go because my friend is coming so I can’t invite you in, is why we just left without talking. Dad looks stern and he says it’s her grandchildren! when we get in the car, but I don’t say anything, is because I think he’s mad.

Just then, guess what! My purple phone rings! Is an unknown number, but I answer. Here is what I say.
Me: Hello, Oliver Journey, no middle name, who is this?
Other person: Hello, University of Virginia researching, would like to ask you some questions about Armageddon.
And I know what that is! Because Penelope, she told me! Anyways I hang up.

Next, almost exactly right I put down my phone, again it rings! And you won’t believe who! That’s right, Penelope. I have her phone number from a group project, was on bridges. Here is our conversation:
P: Hello, is this Mr. Journey?
O: Hello, is this Miss Shriver?
P: Yes it is! How about in Helens Park at 5 PM?
O: Alright that sounds nifty. I’ll be there at 4:57!
P: Ha ha, see you.

And then she says ok, and I hang up, and my heart is racing like a marathon, is how fast! I’m so excited, is because Penelope is so nice, and also, she called me not me her. It’s über-cool. She never said what to do in Helens Park or why, but I know. I guess I now should explain is why Armageddon. My dad says is Jesus coming to take all us people, all us little guys, and hang out with us, because we did so good. And I say, well I’m just seven! And he says I’m the best anyways. Reverend Jacobs, he knew it from last year. He told us all and I wanted to cry, because I had to die so early! But my mom and my dad, they were so happy, is because no more pain and sorrow just heaven. So I guess that’s cool too. I wonder is the rest of the world coming? I sure hope so because my friend, Amanda is her name, she used to live here then her parents whisked her away, so I want to see her again, would be nice. Also, I never met Juliette and I want to see what she looks like. Here is my guess: brown hair, coffee-color,  dyed green at the ends and as long as her ears but longer in front. Big brown eyes, super tall like me, and wears clothing with many colors. Anyways. So Dad drives us home and no dessert, I have a killer of a stomach-ache. I watch TV, is Real Housewives of Orange County. Spray tans.

Usually Reverend Jacobs calls our house around 5:18 to tell us something we should do. Last time, he said to come to church around 10am on Armageddon to be together. The day before he said not to make calls out of the city. Anyways, stuff like that, is nice when he calls because the phones are my job and my job only, is what Mom says. So today he called, on our gray phone right there next to the sofa where I was sitting. I pick it up and say my usual and Mr. Reverend, he says so loud, ouch! Hurts my ears! He says to read a boring old Bible passage. I like the Bible but not what’s in it. Is long, and boring, and too many names! Peter, Francis, Mary, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. That’s the way the cookie crumbles!

I walk to the park on my lonesome so Mom and Dad can have quiet time and Eliot and Finn TV time. It’s super duper windy, not too cold though, so I have just a windbreaker, breaks the wind, ha ha! I get there at 4:56, super early. I wait one minute, nobody’s there. Two minutes, none. Then I see is Penelope, and she looks very nice. Her hair is super duper red in the evening sun. She is wearing a windbreaker too, only hers is green, mine is yellow. Together, we’re ? of a traffic light. Here is how it went.
P: Hi, Oliver!
O: Hi, Penelope! How are you?
P: I’m OK Oliver. Just wanted to say bye in person like I did with the rest of everyone else.
O: Oh well ok then, bye.
P: Will I see you ever again?
O: Well, we’ll see each other in heaven with Jesus.
P: I don’t think so.
O: What do you mean?
P: I don’t think we’re going nowhere.
O: Yes we are, Reverend Jacobs said.
P: Well yeah but I don’t think I can go with you.
O: Everyone can!
P: Well but I’m not so good I don’t think.
O: I think you’re good.
P: Not good enough at least is what Reverend Jacobs said, not since I was so so mean.
O: Why?
P: Never mind.
O: Well then, I think you’re the nicest, prettiest smartest ever, so I think you should come.
P: Thank you. That’s nice to say.
O: No, just true. Right, is true?
P: Yep I hope that’s true. You’re pretty great too Oliver.
O: So see you in heaven?
P: See you in heaven.

Then, absolutely, the greatest thing happens ever. It’s so great I don’t even know what to say! Is Penelope, she leans super close to me, so I feel her hot sticky steamy breath on my cheek, and she gives me a quick quick kiss right next to my nose, three inches to the left or perhaps three centimeters, I don’t know face dimensions. It’s so nice and warm. I don’t even know, though, what to do, is because nobody ever kissed Oliver Journey before except Mom! So I just smile real big so she knows I’m happy and she says okay, Oliver Journey, goodbye. And I say, it’s not goodbye, because I’ll see you in heaven.