The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

Vanessa1420 said...
on Jun. 7 2010 at 11:06 am
Vanessa1420, Russiaville, Indiana
0 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
If they give you a piece of ruled paper, write the other way.

So amazing!!! I especially like the last line. That entire piece was just refreshing, and I needed that. Keep writing!!!!

on May. 31 2010 at 9:44 pm
SchuylerSorensen SILVER, Mullica Hill, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things u get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in ur head to no more than living size when they are brought out.

So real.  Amazing.

on May. 25 2010 at 2:57 pm
I really enjoyed the article it was real entertaining and it kept me it the story.

on May. 24 2010 at 11:03 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
Thank you all SO much! Every comment means the world to me, sometimes if I need some inspiration I just read all of your kind words :)

Keep an eye out for new pieces soon - I just submitted three new ones, so they'll be up once teen ink posts them!

on May. 23 2010 at 8:04 pm
PlaceboEffect, Chesterfield, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 30 comments
I love this. I love, love, love this. The way you kept talking about the mascara, was genius. Expand it, girly!

AmbRawr BRONZE said...
on May. 23 2010 at 5:11 pm
AmbRawr BRONZE, Allentown, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
We choose the love we think we deserve ~The Perks

oopsie! i just read you're comment about it being part of your journal... you write like me. lol.

ps. this gave me ideas. inspiration. I've had such a block =[ but yay! =]

AmbRawr BRONZE said...
on May. 23 2010 at 5:04 pm
AmbRawr BRONZE, Allentown, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
We choose the love we think we deserve ~The Perks

I love this! ...I know exacly what you mean, except my mascara is water proof =[ <3 lol. And i agree that you should expand it!

selin06 BRONZE said...
on May. 23 2010 at 3:00 pm
selin06 BRONZE, Gaithersburg, Maryland
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm a believer not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I believe in.

this is GREAT! i totally encourage you to add more and expand this story! 

on May. 23 2010 at 1:06 pm
OrNot.. PLATINUM, Hammond, Louisiana
25 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
" I close my eyes but I can't rest. My body is tired, my mind is wandering. From the past to the east to the west. Trying to take up the blame, you've already taken from me. Can anyone tell me how we learn to live with ourselves?"

LOVE IT! I can imagine it being the opening of a book or something. It makes me want to know the whole story.

on May. 23 2010 at 12:58 pm
sunnyhunny PLATINUM, Litchfield, New Hampshire
22 articles 3 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

I love this!  It's so unique.

on May. 23 2010 at 11:43 am
Showchoir2012 SILVER, Indianapolis, Indiana
9 articles 6 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"yes we are our fathers sons and daughters but we are not their choices" -Poetry Slam Knock Knock
"Knock Knock, who's their?, WE ARE!"

dude this is so true! omg its like ur living my life! urg! curse any guy thats ever broken a girls heart with 'lets just be friends' and dumps her over text! CURSE YOU!

on May. 23 2010 at 10:25 am
Lalalovable SILVER, Antioch, California
7 articles 1 photo 50 comments
Wow! this is really good it sounds like it came from the heart:)  keep writing.

on May. 23 2010 at 9:47 am
this is soooooooooo  good!!!! OMG i loved it! keep up the great work! I love the writing style, it's so unique! And I don't say that because it's awkward it's sooo good! You thunk out of the box, girl!! great job!

on May. 23 2010 at 8:26 am
Egyptiangirl13 GOLD, Kansas City, Missouri
14 articles 0 photos 498 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. -Benjamin Franklin

\"If columbus would have turned back, no one would have blamed him. No one would have remembered him either.\"

\"If music be the food of love, play on.\"

wow this is amazing!!!! i love it-so different but just great!!!

on May. 23 2010 at 2:33 am
PrudenceFang BRONZE, Herriman, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't worth living unless you believe in something."

This is different. It sounds more real than anything I've ever read. I can relate to this.


chaelo said...
on May. 20 2010 at 10:32 pm
chaelo, Omaha, Nebraska
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the portion

I actually laughed in class!
Well written and very well thought out, the character is easy to sympathize with and has spunk.

on May. 20 2010 at 12:02 pm
chartothalatte GOLD, Cleveland Heights, Ohio
10 articles 1 photo 62 comments
very different style! i like it though! it's got a bit of humor and thats really intriguing! please keep writing!

woody97 said...
on May. 17 2010 at 6:58 pm
i loved it but a little long but i loved it

on May. 3 2010 at 5:10 pm
Hilarious! I think my favorite line is "Since when is "pretty" about whale blubber and cocoa butter?" The style is unique and refreshing, great job! 

on May. 1 2010 at 8:54 pm
TrulyRosa BRONZE, Beaverton, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Play the wrong note and we'll all b[e] flat."

ur writing is different. keep writing!

i liked the last line because sometimes i want to do that to other people myself. good work capturing the feeling.