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How to Fail a Test
Ingredients:
- A truckload of disrespect
- 1 season of a Netflix show
- 1 liter of caffeinated soda
- 1 phone
- A flurry of text messages
- 1 hard floor (wood or concrete)
- 1 alarm that hasn’t been set
Directions:
1. First, use the truckload of disrespect to earn yourself an after-school detention. This will give you less time to study.
2. After you have returned home, pick any Netflix show that has at least 15 episodes. Watch one entire season without taking a break.
3. When you begin to feel drowsy, consume the entire soda. It will keep you up all night and you will be extremely tired when you wake up.
4. After the final episode ends, use your phone to send text messages to your friends about the show.
5. When the clock reads 2 A.M., fall asleep on a wooden or concrete floor in your house. In the morning, your whole body will be sore and it will be difficult to concentrate on your test.
6. Finally, wake up late since your alarm wasn’t set. You will arrive to class with much less time to work.
7. Recipe will yield similar results for tests in every subject.
*Remember, do not add studying or a healthy breakfast to the recipe. Both of these would increase your chances of passing the test.
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