Born to die

I lied in my bed unable to think with the loud sounds coming from downstairs. I waited until the sounds stopped-- if they stopped so I could actually think things through, but the sounds continued. They even got louder sometimes, and few bangs came with it. How was I supposed to cope with all that noise? Why does this happen every night, my ears can only take so much--so much to the point where I had to leave. I got out of my bed and grabbed my bag that I usually took when the noises coming from downstairs were too hard to tolerate. I opened my window and threw my bag over my shoulder. I was able to climb down from the side of the house. I didn’t know where I was going to tonight but wherever it was I wanted it to be far from here as possible.


I walked to the train station and bought a ticket to Shinjuku to just associate there. I got on the train and sat nearest to the door. I looked across from me and saw a woman sitting on the train, she was pregnant. I didn’t see any man around her nor any other family members. She smiled at me, and her smile was warm and inviting. She had all the features of a nurturing Mother. Her face was heart shaped, and her eyes wear brown. She had rosy cheeks and a content look on her face. I smiled back and noticed that the smile on my face was real. The train stopped but it wasn’t time for me to leave yet, but I notice the woman that was pregnant was trying to get up and I saw no one helping her. I cursed the people around her inside my head, and I got up to help her. I grabbed her hand and helped her out of the seat.


“Thank you so much,” she said; her voice was as sweet as I thought it would be. “You’re welcome,” I replied, as I helped her off the train. I insisted on helping her to the hospital which was her destination. I asked her, “Why do you need to go the hospital? Is there something wrong?”
“My baby hasn’t been kicking today, everything was fine until today. I’m just worried something is wrong.” I frowned, it was heartbreaking that nice woman like this could have issues with her child. “Could I ask something of you?” She asked, and I was willing to help in anyway. “Can you please see if you can hear him kicking?” I smiled and nodded, bending to lay my head gently on her stomach. Suddenly I heard a faint bounding, and a smile instantly fell on my face. “I hear him!” I exclaimed and stood up straight again. The woman sighed with relief and put her hand on her stomach. “I’m so glad, but I’m going to go to the hospital just in case.”
“Would you like me to help you there?”
She smiled, “No thank you sweetie, but thank you for all your help,” and with that she continued towards the hospital. After she was gone, I started to feel sorry for her. That woman had no family to help her through her pregnancy. It made me wonder if all the good people in the world had to undergo hardships like this. Am I a good person--maybe having a troubled household isn’t something to complain about with people living like this? I started to walk down towards a park; there were a lot of people out tonight. As I was walking down the sidewalk, I heard a loud sound of tires screeching and I looked behind me and saw someone lying in the middle of the street and a car that was quickly driving away. I watched the car speed up to a red light and run it, and it was also hit by another car coming from the other direction.


People gathered around the person on the street, and around the two cars. I heard a faint sound of sirens coming from a distance. My stomach started to feel funny, and my heart was beating incredibly fast. I walked over to the unconscious person to see if they were alright, or to see anything at all. I saw the face of the person and he looked so young, his hair was brown and he looked like he would be short. He had two bruises, one on his cheek and one forehead. Probably from the car that hit him. He looked about fifteen or sixteen, around my age… I really hope that he’s okay.
“Please, move out the way.” The paramedics came over to see if he was still alive, they checked his pulse and then started to perform CPR. I closed my eyes and hoped that he would be fine. Then I heard a voice say, “Call it.” I opened my eyes, and saw them picking up the kid and putting him on a rolling bed. I saw a blanket go over his body. I felt anger boil up inside me. They put him in the ambulance. That boy didn’t deserve to have his life taken from him. I looked over at the guy that hit him as he was getting arrested. I person walked by and I heard them say ‘driving drunk’. I thought to myself, ‘He deserves more than imprisonment.’ The scene started to die down and I walked over to the park and sat down on a bench. That poor child, he was someone’s son or nephew. Or maybe he was like me trying to get away from everything. I looked in the horizon and saw the sun rising. I began to wonder if the sun could ever die, and does it have control over whether it or not wanted to hover over our sky. Can we control our life and whether we die or not? With all that I’ve today, should I really be complaining about how my parents hate each other and hate me? Or should I just be happy I’m alive?