Elmo VS Barney | Teen Ink

Elmo VS Barney

September 27, 2016
By JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker


Once upon a time, in a land called Elmo’s World, there lived Elmo, a lovable, adorable looking creature whose only fault was loving things too much, and his deadly sharp crayons of course. Now, when we look in on this tale we see Elmo, talking to his fish, Dorthy, and sharpening his crayons. “Dorthy” said Elmo “you’re the best fish a puppet could have, Hahaha!” Then he proceeded to kiss the fish bowl. Then he said “I think that I’m gonna make some cookies.” Later, when the cookies had been made, he sat down and said “This is going to be a great day!” Then, with a resounding crash, in came BARNEY! A horrible, purple, dinosaur shaped creature with an appetite for cookies. He had smelt Elmo’s delicious cookies and had come all the way to Elmo’s World with the intent to steal them. “GIVE ME THOSE COOKIES!” He shouted. “No!” said Elmo “haven’t you ever read The Little Red Hen!?!? I made these cookies, so I’m gonna eat them.” “You better give me those cookies” warned Barney “or I’m gonna have to use extreme prejudice!”  “Bring it on.” taunted Elmo. So as Elmo stood there between the cookies and the horrible being, he picked up his crayons and took up a defensive stance. Barney laughed and pulled out a long, wicked looking knife. Then he charged Elmo, slashing his knife and Elmo dodged this way and that, ducking and parrying .They slashed and hacked, parried, countered. Barney slashed with his knife Elmo stabbed with his crayons. Finally Elmo had but one crayon left and Barney had a broken knife. They looked at each other with loathing. The hate was palpable in the air. Then Barney looked past Elmo and started. “The cookies are gone!” he said. Elmo turned around and there, behind an empty plate that once held the cause of this whole conflict but now held noting but crumbs and an empty memory of the sweet delicious cookies, sat the Cookie Monster! He said “me hear fight and come to help but then me sees COOKIES! THEN ME EAT COOKIEEES!” He then started to eat the plate. Elmo and Barney then turned towards each other and Barney said “Well, I’m outta here.”  And he turned to leave. “Oh no you don’t!” exclaimed Elmo, who then jumped on Barneys’ back and proceeded to stab him in the neck until Barney was limp and dead on the floor. “That’s for all of my broken crayons” said Elmo. Then he turned towards Cookie Monster, whose mouth was open in apparent shock. He said “and as for you, I have a job for YOU!” He then dragged Cookie Monster into the kitchen and mad him make 500 batches of cookies without eating any. Then Elmo tied Cookie Monster to a chair while he ate them all .                                 THE END                       


The author's comments:

i wrote this peice to motivate our generation of "slakers" and "video game junkys". the older generations say that we're "unmotivated". and you know what i think? i think its competely true. we are unmotivated and heres why. its because we're always expected to be doing something. "Go out side""Go do some chores""oh you're bored? then i have something for you to do" and i think that thats just adding to the problem. i think to get motivated to do something we have to get BORED! and i dont mean get rid of all your video games and comic books (sorry moms) i mean just sit and think in bordom for awile and we could have great ideas. take this story for example. i was bored and i thought "what would jacky chan do" and then i realised that he would fight so then i heard my little brother watching barney and thought " i hate this show and viola' this story was the outcome. so good luck, and get bored!


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This article has 10 comments.


on Jan. 9 2017 at 12:43 pm
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker

i could also start a forum and we could talk there

on Jan. 9 2017 at 11:47 am
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker

if you would like i could give you my gmail

on Jan. 9 2017 at 11:40 am
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker

hey sorry for taking so long to respond. i also use google docs and i also edit my writing but i don't know how to work with someone else on it if you could tell me how then i would be more than happy to work with you

on Nov. 28 2016 at 5:20 pm
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker

your welcome

on Nov. 28 2016 at 5:20 pm
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker

Thank you for your feedback im currently working on a piece and im looking for some inspireation. if you have any suggestions then it would be appreciated

on Oct. 24 2016 at 9:55 am
BananaVav BRONZE, Edgewater Park, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This story is very interesting. The content and thought behind it seemed to be amusing. Very well thought out and planned out. It seems very professional and you should really think about getting it published as it's own book. Maybe start thinking about spin offs. I would enjoy reading them.

on Oct. 24 2016 at 9:51 am
JasonEdwardWilson BRONZE, Edgewater Park, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
LOL! I was dying the whole time I read it!!

on Oct. 20 2016 at 8:38 pm
Your_Apathetic_Basketcase ELITE, Orlando, Florida
137 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."
-Derrolyn Anderson

"Don't trust everything you see, even salt looks like sugar."

"The sea speaks more honestly... To those willing to drown." -J.D. Hard

@JacobBaker Hey Jacob, I know you had asked earlier on one of my poems if we could work together. I would love to work with you, I think this story was hysterical, and I think we could work together well. If you still want to collaborate, just let me know. I love working with other people because it always improves my writing. I can do google docs really easily and I can definitely write a story if that is your comfort zone. I am down with anything. I will tell you that I edit my stuff a lot so it can be as near perfect as it will get, I hope you don't mind. Of course I will never, ever change what you write I would give you suggestions. I won't erase anything you worked hard on because that is so rude. Although you can make adjustments on mine, I am okay with that. I look forward to hopefully working with you, have a good day! Just let me know! :)

on Oct. 3 2016 at 4:53 pm
JacobBaker GOLD, Sacramento, California
14 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
If your good at something,never do it for free --- The Joker

thanks for your feedback. i was looking to make people laugh. if u have any sugestions for a story send them to me. and u have a great day too.!D

on Sep. 30 2016 at 8:35 pm
Your_Apathetic_Basketcase ELITE, Orlando, Florida
137 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."
-Derrolyn Anderson

"Don't trust everything you see, even salt looks like sugar."

"The sea speaks more honestly... To those willing to drown." -J.D. Hard

@JacobBaker Okay, I probably died laughing in this at least five times. The thing I actually like about this was the fact that I was expecting to (in my mind of course) make fun of this story. When in truth, I actually found this rather (and to my horror) hysterically intriguing. This story was hopefully supposed to be a joke. If so, you succeeded phenomenally with that part. Congratulations, you made the two world's worst kid shows actually have a background story to them besides ABC and 123. Have a good day. :D