The Young Soldier | TeenInk

The Young Soldier

July 13, 2009
By Allie Newhouse BRONZE, Grove City, Ohio
Allie Newhouse BRONZE, Grove City, Ohio
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Men in red jackets pointed their muskets at my fellow soldiers and fired. Many fell to their knees and toppled over as the bullets pierced the bodies. The smell of gun powder lingered in the air. Smoke from the cannons made it difficult to see the enemy; all I could do was stand on the battlefield with my gun by my side. A few yards away, I saw I man wiggling on the ground. Terrified as I was, my curiosity took control and I trotted over to the fallen soldier. I knelt next to him and realized he wasn’t wiggling, but writhing. Writhing in pain I could not invoke the courage to imagine. My jaw dropped as I noticed the blood seeping through his clothes and onto my hands. He coughed and a familiar metallic taste gathered on my tongue; the blood of a dying comrade. The man reached up and grabbed my shirt. He tried to speak, and I quicker closed my mouth, trying to avoid another bitter mishap. Before he had time to take another breath, a bullet whizzed through the air and entered his chest. His eyes grew dark, his hands became clammy, and I watched as his life was slowly sucked away. My hands trembled around the smooth barrel of my musket, of which I had been leaning upon. I muttered a short prayer for the man who lay before me. As I stood, a cannon let out a final blast. Moments later, the ground beneath my feet exploded and I was sent to the crimson stained grass. All I felt was pain. A searing, wretched pain, so unthinkable, so unbearable, I questioned my reason for survival. Suddenly, a red coat passed by me, then stopped. The figure knelt over me and an evil grin spread across his demonic face. He raised the barrel of his gun to my head and I pleaded for mercy. Yet I received no such mercy from the red coated devil, just a loud bang and eternal darkness.

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This article has 14 comments.

on Nov. 5 2012 at 6:18 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

Wow, that was amazing. Considering we've been learning about the same thing in history, that's really well-written. Great job!

mikey1234 said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 8:50 pm

sapmmer said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 8:49 pm

spamemr said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 8:49 pm

on Oct. 6 2011 at 3:26 pm
Juhcub PLATINUM, Congers, New York
24 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Great story! And what an ending! Amazing job :)

on May. 5 2011 at 10:30 am
Jean16Bean PLATINUM, Batavia, New York
21 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing is not hard. Just get paper and pencil, sit down and write as it occurs to you. The writing is easy-it's the occurring that's hard."-Stephen Leacock

GREAT story. AS a dedicated historical fiction reader, I can appreciate this a lot. When someone can depict an awful war scene in such a powerful and beautiful way, it means that they have a lot of creative talent. If you like to read things similiar to the things you write, check out the book Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo. It's similliar to what you wrote and an amazing book. Keep writing!

LASwan SILVER said...
on Sep. 5 2010 at 11:39 pm
LASwan SILVER, Yukon, Oklahoma
5 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't worry about the world endng today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-Charles Schultz

Vivid descriptions add to the powerful story. It was a bit short, but it shows how fleeting life is. Very well done.

-Annie- BRONZE said...
on Sep. 5 2010 at 7:58 pm
-Annie- BRONZE, Greenville, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big your God is."

I loved it! It was sad, but the truth is sometimes. You have an amazing talent; can't wait for more.

on Jul. 23 2010 at 2:50 pm
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD, Martinsville, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
Worry is simply a misuse of the imagination.

mazingly written.  really sad, and short, but very descriptive.

Isajo BRONZE said...
on Apr. 4 2010 at 1:55 pm
Isajo BRONZE, Managua, Other
1 article 1 photo 8 comments
horribly sad, but awesomely written. very good job:)

on Nov. 23 2009 at 8:22 am
bcookie PLATINUM, Ashville, Ohio
27 articles 5 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

Great story! The ending was very sad but overall, the story was pretty powerful.=)

on Oct. 13 2009 at 9:48 am
This was a very good/frighting story, but mostly good. The person who wrote this had a lot of detail in it and has a good imagination. I would very much recomend this story to a friend who loves war stories. Good job buddy.

Redneck said...
on Oct. 13 2009 at 9:48 am
I really think this was a good book. I would enjoy this book because I'm into war stories.

pedderm said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 10:01 pm
Well done! i too share the liking of war and it's mystical tales. But some of your story confused me. whenever the cannon erupted, what made the ground below him explode, and only make him feel pain? On the other hand, i like how you make the audience realize the true meaning of war. You do a great job of describing the scene of the soldier bending over his comrade. One little detail, though, is that maybe you could find a different word for blood, such as red ooze. It seemed to me that you used bood alot. Finally, i like how you put yourself in the position of the soldier and called the British a "red coated devil".