August 3, 1931

It has been pretty hard here the past few days since the boys Jon and Adam took off to build those roads. Catherine is not taking it to well especially since little Amy keeps asking where her big brothers have gone. It’s going to be hard to try to keep the farm going by myself. I guess the boys just lost all hope in me. I cannot give up I still have to take care of Catherine and Amy. Catherine is trying to help out as much as she can, but with all that dust in the house she has to get it cleaned up so Amy does not get sick. It is a lot different being out in the fields without my two boys. I have been getting pretty lonely the last couple of days, and it is a lot harder to try and keep on going when you’re the only one who seems to care about keeping this mess of a farm. I remember when the boys used to be so excited about helping their dad out on the farm, and they knew that one day they could take over when I was too old to work. Now I just hope and pray that it won’t get foreclosed on within the next week. I know that the boys are old enough and need to start making a life of their own and it seems so useless to stay here and try to keep this farm going when a lot of the neighbors have foreclosed already. Sometimes I wish I could just run away like they did, but farming is all I know and I cannot leave Catherine and Amy here they depend on me.
August 7, 1931

A fore closer note came to the farm today Catherine chased messenger off with a pitch fork. I kept pleading with him to give us a little more time. I know the rain is going to come it has to, without rain our crops will just wither away like they have been for the last couple of months. The rain has to come sooner or later. Prices have dropped to the lowest they have ever been. I have sold almost all our cattle. I have one more cow left so we can have milk to drink and a few chickens still in the coop. We have barely enough in are garden after sales to feed ourselves, but the cow and the chickens still need fed. Luckily Catherine still has some flour and sugar in the house to make some bread. I pray that this drought will end. I know that if the rain comes I can keep this farm running. I guess we can say we are doing better than some of the people in town; at least I can grow most of my food a lot people have died from starving to death. I hope it doesn’t come down to that.
September, 14, 1931
Still no word from the boys, I miss them. I hope they are doing well. My thoughts are filled with questions during these hard times. Do they think about me, Catherine and their little sister? Will they ever come back; will they come back like some big heroes and save our family, save the farm?
Saw Catherine looking at their pictures again, favoring young Jon’s image. He was her pick. The smaller of the two boys, the neediest. Jon still gave hugs and kisses, something you would never see his brother Adam do at Jon’s age now.
Catherine and I barely speak. I can see the desperation in her eyes. I feel she wants something better.
September 20, 1931
Black Tuesday indeed, that’s what they called it in 1929. I read somewhere president Hoover said “While the crash only took place six months ago, I am convinced we have now passed the worst”. That was over a year ago.
We can’t hold on much longer. The bank is nipping at our heals for a payment. I am thinking I could sell my tractor. Don’t think I will get much for it, but it is worth a try. Catherine, Amy, and I went to town for supplies yesterday. We needed so many things, but only could put the most important things on store credit. Now our credit has run out as we were told yesterday at the store in front of a crowd of people. Catherine and I didn’t not speak on the way home. I miss my boys so much.
September 23, 1931

Amy has lost her childish laugh and you rarely see her smile anymore. Both Catherine and Amy seem exhausted from the heat and the dust. Why won’t it rain? It could rain forever now and I would not care. The heat and dust are unbearable. I feel so angry today. Angry at the boys, angry that I never see Amy’s smile anymore, and angry that Catherine will not speak to me. Just rain, will you!
October 1st, 1931
We have no choice. Catherine has heard from her aunt in Vermont and we have been offered a place to stay. I could look for work. I could somehow get word to the boys and maybe work with them. The bank will foreclose on the farm in a couple of days. I have some money from the sale of my tractor. Maybe I could speak to the pastor at the local church for a handout for the rest of the fare for the train.
October 5th 1931
Catherine and I spent the day packing. As sad as it seems to be forced out of our home, the home I wanted to grow old in, it feels like a weight lifted from my shoulders. The bank owns the place now. The church could only spare a small amount of money to help us with our train tickets. I know there are people worse off than we are.
Catherine is speaking to me again. I don’t think she ever blamed me for our situation I think she was just so desperately worried about our situation. She worries about contacting the boys about our move. I told her one way or another we will speak with them. I hope they are well. I daydream about our reunion.
October 7th, 1931
Catherine’s aunt wired the rest of the fare for the train. It’s time to go. It is time to start a new life. The dust is bad today, still no rain. I want to blame someone for my failures. I want to blame the boys for leaving. I want to blame Catherine and Amy for shutting down. I want to most of all blame myself for waiting so long to leave this dusty, dry, filthy place.
The neighbor from the farm next door is here for one last ride into town. Catherine and Amy are carrying out their belongings like they can’t wait to leave. I better not keep them waiting. They have waited for me long enough.