As I get out of bed, Vesna , the house slave,  helps me get my sandals on. It’s been quite difficult for me to get them on because frankly my stomach is too big for me to even see me feet. The physician tells me it could be twins. I am fearful of that. I’ve heard too many stories of women dying from giving birth to twins. My other children are excited to have new siblings, but I am not. I do not wish to go through that pain again. That excruciating pain will surely kill me this time. We have Victor’s brother and wife coming for dinner today and Victor tells me it’s important so I must do my best to not cause a disturbance.
¨How would you like me to do your hair, Thalia?¨ Vesna, my slave, asks me.
          ¨Just pull it back into a twist,¨ I tell her. 
When I’m done getting dressed, I go to eat breakfast. The table is such a beauty. The gorgeously cut marble astonishes me everytime I see it. Pink and white flowers in the center as usual. Ever since I told Victor those were my favorites, he’s had them brought in everyday.

“Would you like some cheese?” Jeremias, another one of our slaves, asks me.

I say, “Yes and bring me some more fruit.”

He walks off and I continue eating my breakfast. My back feels satisfied in the position it’s in. Lately my back has been giving me continuous pain. I assume it’s because my stomach is so large.

“Here you are, Thalia," Jeremias announces as he places cheese and fruit in front of me.

I finish my meal and head back to my room. The bed is so puffy and soft and I feel as if I can lay here forever.
Vesna whispers, “Thalia are you going to be heading to bath today?”
“No I’m too tired. I’ll go tomorrow,” I answer.
     I head over to the view and see it’s near dark. My head hurts, but I leave my room and find Clarissa getting finished with her studies. She looks just like Victor. Her hair naturally curly. Brown with a bit of red in it. It’s perplexing that she’s only eleven and she’s as tall as Vesna. Of course Vesna is short for her age but Clarissa is only eleven and she’s as tall as her. Clarissa will pass her soon though, it’s obvious. Her eyes are as green as the jewels on my earrings. She sees me looking at her, she smiles and comes running to me.

“Not so fast, you might fall,” I say.

Clarissa smiles and replies, “I know, but I haven’t seen you since morning and I thought you might be sick.”

“Me sick? Never, why I’m as strong as those gladiators that you’ve seen fight,” I tell her.

She giggles and says,”When are you to have the baby?”

“Soon, but not today if that’s what you’re hoping,” I tell her, “Why don’t you go finish up your studies and I’ll go get ready for your aunt and uncles arrival.”

She nods and heads back to her room. A flood of fear attacks my mind and I can’t help but to go call for Vesna.

“What can I do for you? Are you hurting? Do you want me to call for Victor?” Vesna blurts nervously.

I look her in the eye and say,”Just help me to my room.”

She obeys and wraps her arm around my side hesitantly and helps me to my room. I sit in my chair, looking at my reflection through the mirror. Vesna puts a new stolia on me and puts my favorite sandals on. When she’s finished with that, she does my hair in a different style. She lets it down in a curly wave and puts a bangle on my forearm. A magnificently styled golden bangle. I hear footsteps through the doors and I'm ignited with happiness. Victor is here.
I run into his arms and he gives me a big, warm smile. We walk down to the garden and sit on one of the benches made of stone. His beautiful brown eyes are looking at my green ones and he puts his hand on my cheek. I smile and I can’t imagine anywhere I’d rather be. He’s always gone, doing something to improve our beloved Rome, but sometimes I wish he could just be here with me and the children.

“How are you?” he asks.

I reply, “I’m fine, I just missed you. I wish you could just be here more.”

“We’ve been over this already,” Victor says, “I want to be here more but you know I must with the council especially since Julius Caesar has announced his outrageous demands.”

“What are you talking about? What has Julius done?” I ask.

“He’s demanded that he’s to be ruler for life,” Victor explains, “ He wants to take down the republic and make it an empire. Destroying everything we’ve created and it’s just ludicrous.”

I respond, “That’s terrible. What does Philo think about that? Wait what do the citizens think of his announcement?”

Victor says, “Philo thinks it’s absolutely absurd, but most of the citizens love the idea. How stupid are they? They think just because Julius has done much for Rome that he’s fit to be an emperor. That’s why Philo and Octavia are coming over for dinner today, he wants to discuss with me about everything that’s been happening since Julius made his announcement.”

I remain speechless for a bit because I’m not sure if whether to agree with Victor or not or what’s going to happen to Julius.

“That’s terrible and I understand why you must be away so much,” I say.

“I’m truly sorry that I’m away so much but it’s good that you now see why I have to be away,” Victor replies.

He kisses me on the cheek and he guides me back to the dining room, never letting go of my hand. We take our seats while the slaves finish up with serving the food. Philo and Octavia just arrived and they take a seat too. All of us indulge in the food. Fish, berries, cheeses, bread, and anything else that can grow in Rome is on the table. Victor and Philo talk quietly to each other while Octavia complements me on the food. I’m worried for Julius. I know it isn’t my place to worry about any other man than Victor, but I can’t help it. Victor would not even think about what the most obvious choice in this problem would be, but Philo. I’m not sure what Philo is capable of. Julius has done so much for Rome and maybe he can do more for Rome, but he can't do anything if he's dead.
My stomach is always a pain but right now I know something is wrong. I can not make a commotion about this. Victor would be so mad if it was just a passing ache and I made a deal out of it.

“I must excuse myself for a minute,” I announce.

As I walk out of the room, Victor says, “Is something wrong dear?”

“It’s nothing, I’ll be back soon, “ I respond.

“Well have Vesna escort you to where you’re going,” he says worryingly.

I tell him, “I’ll be fine, I just need some air, she doesn’t need to come with me.”

I walk away but I can hear Philo telling Victor something.

“You worry too much about her,” Philo says.

I would be upset that Philo just said that but my stomach hurts too much for me to be upset about anything else. I make it back to my room and I stumble over my velvet purple-colored chair. I land on my side relieved I didn’t land on my belly.
Vesna walks in and runs to me.

“I will call Victor for you,” she says.

“No!” I shout, “If you call Victor I will have you sold faraway. Now get out, I can take care of myself!”
Finally she walks out of the room. I feel awful for yelling at her but I can not have Victor’s dinner ruined because of me.
My arm has a river of red trickling down my hand. I must have cut myself when I fell. I grab my black sheet and cover my cut. When my arm stops bleeding, I leave my room and go wander through the halls. I can feel the baby or babies kicking me. Walking helps calm the pain. Luckily there’s not many slaves passing through the halls because having a slave tell Victor that his wife is wandering through the halls bare-foot, with a black cover wrapped around my arm would not be good. There’s an opening in the wall that’s covered by a large dirty white sheet. I look behind the sheet and the sight is just astonishing. You can see most of the city through this opening. Victor must be putting a large window here.

“I’ve been meaning to pull you away from dinner, there’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about,” Philo whispers.

I quickly go behind the sheet and sit. I hug my knees hoping Philo and Victor will not see me.

Victor says, “What is it? Why couldn’t you tell me at the table?”

“The council and I have made a decision about the problem with Julius Caesar. I've known for a while but I was waiting for the right time to tell you ,” Philo again whispers.

“What are you and the other senators planning to do?” Victor asks.

“We plan to assassinate him. Not all the details are worked out yet but I need to know that I can count on you to help,” Philo murmurs.

“I don’t know,” Victor responds.

Philo says, “Don’t think of it as killing, think of it as saving Rome.”

“Don’t try to justify what you’re going to do. You and I both know that you just want to stay with power and you don’t want to lose your job with the rest of the senators,” Victor whispers angrily.

“However you see it but I still need my brother on my side, we could use your help. Rome needs you. I need you,” Philo pleas.

Victor says,”I will help only because you are my brother but do not think I agree with what you are doing.”

“Thank you brother and Rome will thank you too one day,” Philo whispers happily.

I can not believe I just heard that. Philo wants to assassinate Julius and my husband agreed to help. I love my husband more than anything in the world (if you don’t include my children) and I thought I knew him but I thought wrong. Philo is corrupt and will manipulate Victor into doing anything. Victor wants his older brother’s approval and he will do anything to get it. Julius Caesar is a good man and even if he did announce to the citizens of Rome that he wants to be an emperor, that does not mean he deserves to be killed. I have to warn him.
I struggle to get back up and I realize the pain in my belly and arm went away but there’s this new pain in me that’s a mixture of sadness and fright. I walk until I reach Vesna.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, I’ve just been tired,” I say to Vesna.

Vesna answers, "You do not need to apologize, I understand. I told Victor you were feeling tired so you went to bed."

"Thank you," I mutter. My sandals make a noise while I'm walking away and for a second I think they might rip. I lie my head on the plush pillow and fall into a fitful sleep.
I hear the door opening and I see Victor coming in. He lies beside me and puts his arm over my side.

“Are you alright? Thalia?” Victor asks.

I act like I’m sleeping and don’t answer. Tomorrow I am going to the temple of the gods. Victor can keep me from my friends but he can not keep me from going to worship the gods. Victor shifts around in the bed and he says nothing more.
I wake before Victor does and I hurriedly rush to get dressed. I creep open the door and exit slyly.

I whisper, “Vesna , Vesna.”

“Yes Thalia?” she answers.

“Prepare me an offering,” I say, “I am going to the temple today.”

“Of course,” she replies, “but does Victor know you are going, surely he would want you to stay in bed or at least be accompanied by more than just me.”

I tell her, “Do as I say, we will leave soon.”

She calls for me once she’s done preparing the offering. It’s in a wooden basket decorated with a red, cotton blanket over it. Vesna put fruits and meat in the basket and I put my gold ring in the center. We walk out of the house and make our way to the temple.

“I told Jeremias to tell Victor where we were going once he awakens,” Vesna says.

I whisper, “That’s fine.”

It’s been so long since I’ve been anywhere but home. Seeing everything is exciting and I’m glad I came without Victor. Whenever I go anywhere with Victor, he always sees a friend and wants to stop to talk or he'll order me around in front of his friends. Even though he acts like he's boss when certain others are around, he'll defend me, I know that as a fact.
One time he told me to stand away from him and his friend Marcus so they could talk and as I was walking away I heard Marcus say, “She’s like a child, she never listens to you and she has no respect for me or your privacy. You should’ve married Beatrice.” Then I heard Victor say, “That is my wife you speak of, watch what you say. She shouldn’t have respect for you, she’s my wife and if you ever talk of her that way again I'll mention to Philo what you say about him when he's not around.” Although, Marcus can never take anything seriously because all he did was start laughing then Victor joined him.
Once we make it to the temple, I set my offering on a circle-shaped table on the left of Juno’s statue. My hand holds my belly from under and I walk in to say my prayers. I kneel down and I whisper, “Please Juno, please stop Victor from what he’s planning to do. I need your help to save my marriage.”
Then I redirect my prayers to Minerva, the goddess of wisdom,.

“Great Minerva please help me figure out what I’m to do,” I pray.

I stay in the Temple for hours and pray. Vesna has to pull me out because we have to be back before dinner. We walk through the Forum and some man is staring at us as we walk. Vesna tells me to pay no attention to beggars. So I look away and continue walking. It took longer to get home than when we left because my feet were tired and my stomach was a pain again.
Vesna took me straight to my room once we arrived. She dressed me in a different stola and tunic and she redid my hair quickly. I can tell she’s scared. She's worried about what Victor will do.

“What will your husband do when he sees you looking weak and dirty, oh he’s going to kill me,” she mutters.

I say, “Do not worry, you will be fine. I will be fine, there’s no reason to be frightened.”

I spoke too soon because right after those words left my mouth, Victor marched right into the room.

“Where have you been!” he shouts.

I say,”Vesna you are dismissed, leave us.”

Vesna leaves the room with a worried look on her face.

“Thalia where have you been! I’ve had slaves and many others looking for you all day,” he yells.

“I told Jeremias to tell you where I went once you were away,” I explain,”surely he delivered the message.”
Victor breathes and slowly says, “Surely you don’t expect me to believe what some slave tells me. For all I knew he could’ve had you stolen and killed. Why would you leave? You know you’re supposed to stay in bed.”

“I can not stay here all day. I am at least able to go worship and bring offering to the gods or am I not even allowed to do that!” I shout.

“We have a setting for the gods here, you didn’t have to go all the way into the city. Why are you acting like this? What have I done that’s upset you?” he asks.
He looks furious once he spots my arm. My cut hidden under a strip of white cloth. The blood went through when we were walking back. It's like a black a sheep in a herd of white sheep. It is easily spotted.

"What happened!" he asks.

"Nothing," I say. "I'm fine."

"Stop lying! Tell me the truth. What are you hiding?" he shouts.
Then grabs me by my arm and yanks me forward. I flinch and shield my body. After nothing happens, I open my eyes and see his face is covered with guilt.

"Thalia I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he cries.

I say, “I don’t know you, I thought I did, but I don’t”
        I turn away from him and pull my palla over my head and slide it to the side of my arm. He looks like he’s fighting over what he’s going to say with himself. Tears start slithering down his face. I can not stand to watch him so ashamed so I walk over to him and hug him. He accepts my embrace and hugs back. I don’t know what to do about anything anymore. If I try to warn Julius, I’d be betraying my husband, but if I do nothing then Julius will die. I’ve only met Julius once but that was enough to know he is a good man.  Philo has reason to want Julius dead, but Victor does not. Victor will not lose his job so it means nothing to kill him. I end the warm embrace quickly.

“I will be out shortly, leave me,” I say.

Victor quietly mumbles,”If you need anything just ask.” He leaves the room.

After I can no longer hear his footsteps, I think of my plan to warn Julius. It would have to be quick and when he was alone. It would have to be when Vesna and I were out alone. A brilliant plan pops into my mind. Tomorrow I will go into the city to bath. Maybe I won't go tomorrow because of the argument Victor and I just had but I will have to go sometime this week.
I finally go down to eat. Victor is already gorging on the food. Clarissa is eating slowly and Justus is gorging his food just like his father. I haven’t seen Justus in two days. I know it’s my fault because I have been occupied with other things and Justus still needs me. His five year-old mind can’t understand why I’m never around him as much as I used to. This pregnancy has kept me away from him. His beautiful blonde, curly hair reminds me of mine. I miss my son.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” a voice to my right says. I recognize it but the voice sounded strange since the person talked with food in their mouth. I hear laughing and instantly know who it is. Philo. That malevolent, sly creature. Oh how I hate him. It's been two days since I last seen him and it's been too soon.

”What are you doing here?” I snap.

“He came by awhile ago and I invited him for dinner,” Victor answers. “now please sit.”

“I’ll be right back,” I claim. “I need to go check something.”

Victor says,”Be quick, we have a guest.”

I knew that would work. When my stomach started to grow bigger and I got pains from the baby kicking, Victor and I made a sentence I could use if there was a guest and I started to get uncomfortable or if I was about to get sick then all I had to say was,”I need to check something,” and no questions were asked. It’s a brilliant system. Especially now because my belly isn’t hurting but I must find Vesna before Philo leaves.
I walk into the area where the food is made and I quickly spot Vesna. All the slaves around me take notice that I’m here and instantly start working harder than when I first walked in. Vesna greets me with the usual “What can I get you?” and I pull her out of there and pull her into a dark, empty room.
      
      "What's wro-?" I quickly cover her mouth and shush her. I know Philo is up to something. The last time I heard them speaking it was because of luck but I know this time I won't know what Philo tells Victor and I need to know.

"I need you to keep your eyes on Philo and Victor," I whisper.

Vesna asks, "Why? What's wrong?"

"There's no time for questions, I just need you to watch them," I explain.  "and if they disappear together then I need you to follow them but without your presence being known to them, ok?"

"Of course. I will do as you say," Vesna answers.

I say,"Find me when we are done eating."

I walk back to dinner and lie in the only available chair.
     Clarissa is telling me of her day and Justus is interrupting her constantly with stories of his dreams. I can see Philo and Victor eating grapes in the corner of my eye. Maybe Philo just came by to talk openly to his brother. I laugh and smile through almost the whole dinner. It's been so long since my children and I have all talked together. My joy is cut off when I see Victor and Philo walk off into the hall.
     When dinner is over, I take Clarissa and Justus to bed. Clarissa gives me one last hug before she goes to bed. Justus begs me to carry him but instead I take him to his room and tell him the story of Mars' sons Remus and Romulus and how they built Rome. He falls into a fast slumber. As I walk to my room, Vesna walks beside me and whispers, " I must speak to you privately." We walk into an abandoned room and she starts to tell me of Philo's plan.

"Philo told Victor the assassination of Julius Caesar will be on the Ides of March and it's happening in the Senate House," she whispers.

I reply, "The Ides of March? But that's two days from today."

"I know, it's horrible. Apparently they had been planning it for a long time because Philo was said that they had the date set in place but they didn't know where or how to kill him, but they decided this morning. There were rumors about Julius Caesar wanted dead by the senates but I didn't think Philo would be involved," she whispers.

"Rumors? Where did you hear this from?"  I question.

She answers, "Everyone in Rome has been speaking about it."
"I have a plan to warn Julius." I say, "Now I do not expect you to agree with me but once I tell you, you are not to repeat my words."

"Of course, I will say nothing," she whispers.

"I will go to bath but really I will sneak away by myself and find Julius Caesar and since it will be the day of his assassination I will easily find him. He will be on his way to the Senate House so I will already know where he's heading," I murmur.

Vesna whispers, " see many flaws in your plan but I am your slave so I can not stop you."

I think I see her give me a look and I know she's on board with the plan.
     The sound of chirps from the birds outside wake me and I reach out to Victor's side of the bed to find that he's not there. I'm dizzy and I feel sick. My belly feels like it's flipping forward, backwards, and sideways. The tips of my fingers reach my forehead to find it hot to the touch. I decide I am going to stay in bed all day so I'll have strength for tomorrow.
     My day is filled with eating, sleeping, and listening to Victor talk. The day was horrid but I actually feel better. Vesna came and had my feet rubbed which felt amazing. Night came by quickly.

"I'm so glad you stayed home today," Victor says.

I smile and nod. I understand why he’s so worried for me and why he almost lost it yesterday. His jealousy is no help either. We both close our eyes and my mind wanders away from me.
I slip away from the bed while Victor snores still sleeping. I quickly rush to find Vesna. I see her down the hall and she immediately starts coming towards me.

I whisper,”Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine,” she answers.

Vesna automatically pulls a palla over my head and covers my arms. We leave my house and make our way to the bath. She’ll wait near the bath so if Victor comes after me, she can act as a distraction and an alibi. It’s all so brilliant.
Our journey to the city is silent. The sky is gray and it looks as if it might rain. Many people stare at us while we walk. It’s very uncommon to see a pregnant woman wandering the streets without the company of her husband. My feet already hurt and we’ve barely made it to the public bath. I hug Vesna and thank her for doing this. I know it’s pointless to thank her because she would've had to do it anyways because she's a slave but even though she’s just a slave, she’s my closest friend.

“Please be careful. You can change your mind,” Vesna says.

I respond, “I have to do this. I have to think of someone else besides myself for once. Julius Caesar doesn’t deserve this and I can’t let Victor do his.”
I scurry away and don’t look back. I’m rushing to get to the Senate house. Maybe they already killed him but nothing’s known for sure so I hurry to get there. Men and women are giving me funny looks and are scowling at me. I see a big group of citizens all standing around something. Most are dressed in dirty togas so I automatically assume these are low-classed citizens. There’s a man speaking in the center and I try to look from a better angle but people are crowded in front of him. Finally he walks away and I can see the side of his head. It’s Julius Caesar. I made it just in time. I run towards him and right as I’m about to scream his name, a hand grabs me from behind.
     My screams are muffled by the strong hand against my mouth.

"Calm down it's me," Victor says.

"You nearly scared me to death," I whisper.

"I came looking for you," Victor explains." once I realized you were gone."

I answer, "Oh."

"I went to the temple but you weren't there, then I went to the bath and only found Vesna but she didn't know where you were." Victor replies, "Why are you here? What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I'm not doing anything. My stomach started to hurt so I went walking," I lie.

"You know Thalia you're not very good at lying. Tell me the truth," Victor says.

"I'm not doing anything!" I shout.

Me shouting at him was the last straw for him. Victor started yelling at me and we argued for what felt like forever.

"You never believe anything I say!" I yell.

"Who is it? Who are you seeing? Don't you know what can happen? Why would you do this?" he asks, "I forbid you to do whatever to planned to do and we are leaving now."

Is he really accusing me of what I think he is. I have never gave him reason to question me fidelity and yet here he is accusing me and questioning it. His face is so red, it looks like it might explode. All of a sudden it feels as if a millions of daggers are piercing my stomach at once. I groan and fall to the ground. I can't see straight and my surroundings seem surreal. It feels like I'm dreaming. Everything is happening so quickly. Victor is yelling for help. I'm being lifted off the ground by slaves and then total darkness.
     I wake to agony everywhere. My cries are deafening. I'm screaming the life out of me. Then that's when I see it, a baby is being lifted from me. It's covered in globs of blood and from what I can see it's a boy. Victor is in the corner of the room crying. A physician is giving orders to slaves all around me. One midwife pats my the sweat off my forehead.

"Don't worry, you're almost finished," she whispers in my ear.

Vesna comes to me and whispers, "I'm so sorry." Vesna cries as she leaves the room. I don't know what she is talking about but all I can focus on is this pain. I scream and yell until I can no longer breathe. Another baby comes out and my body feels relieved. It's a girl.

I call Victor and he rushes to my side.

"What happened?" I ask.

"It all happened so fast," he says, "we were arguing then all of a sudden you fell to the ground and started screaming and crying. I had to do something so I had the slaves bring you back here and the physician was already on his way. I'm sorry I couldn't get your sister or your mother to come. I'm sorry I got so angry but you've been acting strange lately and I just thought that you were but I was mistaken. I'm sorry. I would've had Octavia come but everybody's been a busy since it happened."

"What happened?" I ask.

     I fear and expect the worse to come out of his mouth. Tears fill my eyes and I clutch Victor's hand tighter. I can't focus on anything else that's happening in this room except for the next words to come out of Victor's mouth.
  
" Julius Caesar has fallen. He's dead," Victor says.

"Noo," I whisper as I shut my teary eyes.