After the accident, nothing was ever the same. I suddenly lost my role model, my best friend, my hero, my everything. If only I listened to her, then she would still be here. The whole accident flashes before my eyes almost every second of every day. There’s not a moment where I don’t wish my life could go back to the way it was...

I live with my parents, my younger brother, and my baby sister in Miami. We live comfortably in a five-bedroom house. My mother, Olivia, is perfect. Beautiful, caring, supportive and powerful- that’s the way she’s always been. She always looks well put together, never with a hair out of place. She is very involved in the community and does a lot of charity work. She is the one person I look up to in my life. My dad loves my mom so much. Without her, he wouldn't be the loving and patient dad that he is. He works really hard as the head of a real estate company to provide for us.

I go to Westmont High School. Usually, I take the train to and from school, because it’s a mile away from my house. One Thursday morning, I heard my alarm ringing but I was so tired from studying late the night before that I ignored it, rolled over and fell back asleep. Twenty minutes later, I realized that I couldn't be late for my Chemistry test and jumped out of bed. I rushed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then ran to get dressed. I did it so quickly that I put my sweatshirt on inside-out.

“Mom,” I screamed on the top of my lungs as I was running down the steps, “can you please drive me to school?”

“No,” she answered quickly, “take the train like you usually do.”

“I would but I’m so late and it takes an extra 10 minutes to walk to the train and then wait for it,” I responded.

“Big deal if you’re a few minutes late for first period,” she answered as she was putting on her jacket to leave to her charity event.

“I know, but I have a Chemistry test first period and if I'm late, she's going to fail me!”

“Ok fine,” she caved, “Hop in the car.”

I smiled with relief and said, “Thanks, I love you.”

We got in the car at the wrong time and place. If we left a minute earlier or later, what was about to happen never would have happened. We were just five blocks away from school when another car was driving very quickly through a red light. My mom didn't see him and drove straight into him. My life flashed before my eyes as our car flipped over and landed on its side. I heard glass shattering and metal bending. I heard horns honking and people screaming. I saw blood all over my mom's seat and people trying to open the car door.

The next thing I can remember is waking up in the hospital and seeing my dad sobbing by my side.

“Is Mommy okay?” He didn't answer. A billion different thoughts are going through my head and I start to get overwhelmed. There are a lot of wires connected to my body, but I feel fine. The only thing that hurts is my ankle. The nurse comes in and says that I was very lucky. As the nurse leaves, my dad wipes away his tears and says to me, “Mommy was hurt very badly. She is in surgery now, but the doctors don't know if she'll make it.”

I could feel tears trying to come down my face, but I wouldn’t let them. “This whole thing is my fault,” I think to myself.

A doctor walks in with a straight face and says, “She didn't make it. I’m really sorry... we did the best we could.”

Now, I'm actually crying. I immediately put all the blame on myself. If only I didn't wake up late and I didn't beg Mommy to drive me to school, none of this would have happened. If I just listened to her and took the train, I would still have a mother.

Suddenly, the whole room becomes blurry and my head starts to spin. I can't see straight. I feel empty inside, like part of me disappeared. I feel like I’m the one that died. This is when my family had gone down to four.

* * * *

It's been three years and I still remember that day. It wasn't easy getting over all that happened. My dad became depressed and stopped taking care of me and my siblings. It was like I was the one in charge of them and I was the one taking care of them. My dad started to only care about work and money.He would come home very late at night and go straight to his room. He didn't even look at me. Some nights I could hear him crying in his room, missing the love of his life. I felt very lonely and guilty for causing this much pain to my dad.

One night, Dad didn’t come home for dinner because he had a work event. When he came home, he had a huge smile on his face and hung out with me in the kitchen as I was doing my homework.  It was the first night he finally looked happy. That night I knew something changed. A few weeks later, he told me that he met a very nice woman at work named Stephanie. She started coming over all the time. At first, I wasn't happy that she came into my life because I felt she was trying to replace my mom, but then I realized she made my dad happy again and she was really nice to me and my little siblings. A while ago she got us all presents for our birthday. She gave me a very meaningful card and a package of makeup that I've been wanting for a while. She also gave my little siblings painting sets that they use all the time. That's when we became five again.