A young boy sat in class, staring out the window at the bright blue sky. A cardinal flew by, with a mate tailing behind. He smiled at the birds soaring so freely, blue eyes beaming.

His thoughts raced from sports, to his mom and dad, to his siblings, to his friends. He had a new Nintendo DS at home, and he was dying to play on it. He had basketball practice after school, but after that, his best friend challenged him to battle on his new Nintendo DS.

‘If only class could end sooner. ‘

The day trudged on, and the bell rang. He was only in the sixth grade, but man did he feel like school was hard work. He struggled to focus, and was constantly distracted. His hands shook a lot, and his Mom always told him that he needed to try harder. But he always thought it wasn’t his fault. Regardless, the young blonde boy tried to make his Mom proud. He never stopped trying to focus hard, and to get good grades. That way, he could get a scholarship for basketball one day, like his Dad wanted.

At the end of his health class, his teacher announced that there would be a guest speaker at the end of the school day. All students were to meet in the gym and listen for thirty minutes. The boys health teacher informed the class that the guest speaker was coming to teach the children about the dangers of drugs. The guest speaker was a part of an organization called, “D.A.R.E”.

‘Hmm. I dared my friend to touch some old gum under the lunch table once. I wonder if this guy will dare us to do stuff.’

The boy was now curious as to the guest speaker. He eagerly waited to see if some of his fellow classmates, or maybe he himself, would be dared during the mans presentation. The day quickly passed as the blonde haired boy waited for the speaker. The final bell rang, and classes broke earlier than usual. This gave the students time to attend the speech without being late for the carpool pick up line.

‘Good thing i’ll still be on time. Dad HATES when i’m late for practice. Sometimes I wish he could just play for me. ‘

The students were called into the gymnasium, and there, on a small stage, stood a large man wearing a black shirt that read, ‘D.A.R.E.’ in red block letters.

The young blonde boy took his seat on the bleachers and thought to himself,

‘Oh this is gonna be good.’

As the gym hushed, the man introduced himself as Dave. He told the students that he was a team member of an organization known as D.A.R.E. He told the kids that D.A.R.E. actually stood for ‘Drug Abuse Resistance Education.’ Students cocked their heads in confusion, and Dave quickly explained that his job was to teach the students gathered here today, about why drugs are dangerous. The young blonde haired boy grew disappointed as he quickly realized there would be no ‘real’ dares, taking place.

‘Aw man, just some old guy talking about how bad drugs are. They talk about this in health class too. I know, I know, drugs are bad. Only bad guys do drugs.’

The speech lasted thirty minutes, just as his health teacher told him, and by the end of it, the young boy learned a new word. Opioid.  An opioid is a dangerously addictive branch of drugs. There are multiple different types of opioids. Including, heroin, oxycodone, codeine, and even morphine. But at the end of the day, all of them are dangerously addictive, and extremely harmful. The young blonde boy ran to the carpool line outside the school, waiting for his Dad’s tan truck to pull up. As soon as it was in eyesight, the boy ran to the front seat.

‘Dad always lets me ride shotgun. He says that i’m the man of the house. You know, aside from him. The little boys will always be the little ones. But me? I get to be the big brother forever.’

Climbing into the plush leather seat, the blonde boy buckled his seat belt and greeted his Dad.

‘Hi Dad! Are we going right to practice?’

‘Not quite, we have to pick up your little brothers first.’

‘Well okay. At home?’

‘Yes, they are with your Mom.’

The boy thought to himself, ‘Sweet. I can grab my DS!’

He found that his DS helped him focus. Since he got it, it gave him something to focus his hands and brain on. He didn’t get distracted. He felt like it helped him concentrate on something.

After pulling into the the long winding driveway, the blonde boy rushed into the big house he called home. Racing as fast as he could up the large marble stairs to get his DS, and his basketball uniform. He quickly changed and grabbed his new games to try out. Running all the way back down the stairs and into the car. His Dad and two little brothers piled into the car after him, and the drive to practice began. Once they arrived, the blonde boys Dad quickly scolded him for bringing his new game to basketball.

‘Are you kidding? Video games to practice? Basketball should be the only thing on your mind. This is your future. Just like your old man. You don’t need that crap clogging your brain.’

‘But Dad, it’s brand new! It’s from-’

‘I don’t care who it’s from or how new it is. I’m disappointed in you. Maybe if you show some real effort in practice, you can get it back.’

& With that, the blonde boys Dad grabbed the Nintendo DS and shoved it in his pocket. It was no secret that the blonde haired boy got the most pressure put on him. He was the first born, and the first to carry out the dreams of his parents. His Mom told him ever since he was young that she expected him to be successful, and his Dad believed one day, his first born son would play in the NBA.

‘I don’t get why they never let me have my own fun. I try so hard to make them happy. But it never seems like it’s enough.’

The blonde boy continued to take on practice with a good attitude. He tried not to let his Dad’s words bring him down. He was just looking forward to his DS battle with his best friend afterwards. Practice flew by, and the blonde boy did really well. Defense was perfect, offense was on fire. His Dad even told him that he was proud of the effort he showed.

‘YES! I knew I could show him I could do it!.’

The blonde boy began to gather his things. His best friend approached him with a devilish grin,  and quickly said,

‘Game on?’

The blonde boy responded,

‘Game on!’

He quickly ran to find his Dad to hopefully retrieve his DS.

‘Dad! Can I please have my DS? I was hoping to battle my friend. We have been talking about it all day!’

‘You had a good practice. So I will let it slide this time. But no more video games before sports! You have to keep your head in the game.’

‘Okay okay Dad, I will. But can I pleeease have my DS to battle?’

‘You better keep showing effort in practice. Video games are no road to success. You know that. But I will let you play with your friend today. You’ll have to find your brothers. I gave them your DS to play with during practice.’

The blonde boy flashed hot with fear.

‘YOU GAVE THEM MY DS? THEY’RE GOING TO BREAK IT!!’

The blonde boy ran as fast as he could to the bleachers. He knew his little brothers always played underneath them during practice. He quickly stooped down and screamed for them to come to him. Anxiously waiting, his two little brothers ran over, looking playful as ever.

‘Boys, where is my Nintendo?!?’

‘Nin-tandooo?’

‘My new VIDEO GAME!’

‘Whha you yell?’

‘Okay okay! I’m sorry. I won't yell. Can you please just give me my new game? Dad let you play with it.’

‘Oooh gaaame.’

The two young boys looked at each other with guilt. The youngest started crying. The blonde boy started to panic.

‘Guys come on. Can you please just give me the game?’

The oldest of the younger two brothers put his head down, pulling two parts of the DS out of his pocket. Both little boys began to cry. With the older of the two trying to explain to his older brother what happened.

‘We-  we was playin and and I didn’t mean to drop it but but it fell down on the ground. & then HE stepped on it!’ As he pointed to the youngest brother.

The baby brother started screaming, and quickly, their Dad made his way to them.

‘BOYS! What is going on? The whole gym can hear you!’

The blonde boy bubbled over in tears, telling his Dad that his little brothers broke his new game. But his Dad was far from sensitive. He yelled at the blonde boy in front of his little brothers, and friends.

‘You are TOO OLD to be CRYING like a GIRL! These damn video games! Maybe now you’ll actually be able to focus on what’s important! Now let’s go! IN the car. NOW!!’

The blonde boy could hardly see straight, his tears were blinding him. Face red with embarrassment. He could hardly believe his Dad yelled at him in front of everyone.

‘He knew how excited I was for that game. I thought he would understand.’

The blonde boy rode home in silence, as his Dad drove. As soon as they got into the driveway the blonde boy jumped out of the car and ran to find his Mom.

He pushed open the big front door and found her reading on the couch.

‘Mom! Mom!’

The boy screamed, exploding with sobs.

‘Darling! What on earth is going on!’

‘My little brothers broke my- my- my NINTENDO! Dad yelled at me in front of everyone!’

The blonde boy continued to sob as his Mom held him. His mom was plainly confused as to what was going on, trying to understand what exactly happened. It wasn’t long before his Dad entered the house with his little brothers. His Dad was immediately angered at the sight of his eldest son crying to his Mom. He grabbed the blonde boy by the arm and demanded he stay in his room for the night.

‘Mom! Please! This isn’t fair!’

But his Mom ignored his cries and told him to obey his Father. Defeated and exhausted from all of the emotions, the blonde boy ran to his room crying. Slamming and locking his door behind him, he collapsed into bed. Quickly crying himself to sleep.

He dreamt of his future that night. He dreamt of being a grown up, and making his parents proud. He even dreamt of having ten brand new Nintendo DS’s.

He quickly woke to knocking on his door. It was his Mom. It was early, the sun was hardly shining.

‘Y-yes?’ The boy groggily replied.

‘You have a basketball game today. Remember? It’s time to wake up and get ready. We’re leaving in forty five minutes!’ & with that, he heard her footsteps echo down the stairs.

The boy quickly grew angry as he remembered the events from the previous night.

‘They don’t even realize how good of a kid I am! I deserve to be able to have my own fun! One day I’m going to be in the NBA! I’m going to show them I can do it!’

But the rumbling of his stomach interrupted his self motivating speech.

‘Aw man. I didn’t have dinner last night. I must have fallen asleep after coming up here to.. Well.. cry.’ He heard his Dad’s voice in his head,

‘Crying like a girl!’

He quickly rubbed his eyes, and shook his head. Trying to erase the memories of the day before. He put on his basketball uniform and marched down to the kitchen. Feeling motivated to show his Dad that he could make him proud.

‘Maybe if I play really good, he will help me fix my DS!’

That was all it took. The boy made a promise to himself that this would be the best season of his life, and that he would only get better.

The start of the season was good. He made strides to improve. He tried to focus harder on school, despite his brain constantly trying to distract him. He grew impatient with his fidgeting and tried to focus on being still. He practiced basketball at home every night, and started researching videos on how to fix broken Nintendo DS’s. By the end of the basketball season, he was the star player of the team. His Dad was thrilled and even brought up the idea of getting him a new DS if he kept up the hard work. So he pushed himself. Harder and harder every practice. Until one day, when the final game day was approaching. He wasn’t feeling all too in the mood to play hard. But the motivation from possibly getting a DS helped him get into the game. He pumped himself up,

‘Seventh grade is just around the corner. I’ll have to play twice as hard if I want to do well in Eighth. I’ll have to double my skills if I want to play high school basketball. I can do it. I can make everyone proud! Maybe Dad will even get me a new DS! I can finally play with my friends!’

He grabbed his ball and started dribbling. Filled with emotion and excitement. Blonde hair flopping wildly, he ran up to the hoop. Ready to shoot a layup, and eager to make the basket. But as he jumped, and extended his legs, he knew he jumped too soon. His balance was off, and he couldn’t find his center. He came crashing down, ball flying to the side of the court. Landing on his left ankle hard. Pain ripped through his leg and he fell to the gymnasium floor. He cried out in pain. Never had he felt so much pain at once. Within an instant, his Dad was at his side. The blonde boy was crying and apologizing,

‘Dad! It hurts so bad! I don’t know what happened! I was just trying to do a good job for you.’

The blonde boy was taken to the hospital. He was unable to put any weight on his left leg. His parents were sick with worry. By the time the doctors looked him over, they had realized that he had broken part of his ankle, and torn ligaments in his left leg. The doctors informed the blonde boy that recovery was possible, but playing basketball would take a great toll on the leg after it healed up. They advised the parents to be cautious in allowing him to play. As he could easily, worsen the damage done, at the risk of another injury,

Five years passed, and the boy never played basketball on a team again. He got a DS, but only due to his parents not knowing how else to occupy him. He struggled to focus in school, more than ever. He still fidgeted, and lacked the ability to pay full attention.  His parents focus went to the younger boys. As the dream for their kids to be successful, athletes still lived on. The young blonde boy, was now a young blonde man. He was a junior in highschool. He was depressed. He drank try to feel fulfilled. He didn’t have many friends anymore, because most of them remained athletes. He was extremely lonely and he was angry. His parents labeled him as misunderstood. They whispered about his ‘moods’ to friends and family. They considered him the trouble child.

His entire youth life, he dreamt of making his parents proud. But after his injury, he felt as though his parents were annoyed with him. He felt as though they viewed his injury as a failure. His Dad hardly connected with him. His Mom occupied herself with taking the younger boys to practice, making sure they were always in shape for the next season.

It wasn’t until the young blonde man attended a highschool party, a couple cities away from his home, that he was approached by some guys. There were four of them, and they appeared to be strung out on something. Their pupils were so tiny, and it looked as though their limbs were extremely heavy. They appeared easily irritable, and quite disoriented. One of them even avoided eye contact entirely. They seemed out of it, yet at the same time, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. The young blonde man asked them what they drank, but they all laughed at him.

‘Hahah, this is a lot different than drinking anything buddy.’

Confused, he replied, ‘Well what did you do?’

‘You ever heard of the big H?’

‘The big H? Like- like Heroin?’

‘Noooooooo, like hugs. Yea dude, heroin.’

‘Uhh I mean, i’ve heard about it. I think some guy talked about heroin and opioids when I was young. Like middle school. But i’ve never met anyone that- well- used it..’

The four guys erupted in laughter,

‘Hahaha some guy talked to you about it in middle school? What, was he from some- kid drug- education club?’

‘Yeah actually.. I uhh.. I think it was called D.A.R.E. or something.’

The young blonde man wasn’t sure why the four boys were so amused, but they seemed like they were in a different world. He started to grow curious.

‘Haha yea where we come from, no body educates ya about drugs, kid. You educate yourself.’

‘You educate yourself?’

‘Damn, has this kid ever left his house? Yeah! You educate yourself by taking the drugs man..’

‘Well, what do they do?

‘What do they do? What do you mean what do they do?’

‘The.. the drugs. What do the drugs do? Do they make you happy?’

‘Uhhh you could say that. This is pretty much next level shit though kid. Nothing they could teach you about in drug education. Those fools don’t know what it do. They just know people abuuuuse it. But hey, why don’t we daaaare you, to try it?’

The young blonde became more curious at the mention of something making him happy. He had a sick feeling in his stomach at the thought of his parents knowing what he was considering. But he hadn’t felt like they cared for years.

Why would they care now?

The young blonde man felt as though he had made some new friends. At seventeen years old, he dabbled in heroin. It was a feeling he had never experienced. He felt numb, yet fulfilled all at once. Nothing from his past mattered. He didn’t care about what his parents felt or thought. He didn’t care about anything. He just fell into the feeling, and fell in love with it. Within a matter of two years, he became a heroin addict. It wasn’t long before his parents found out.

He became dangerously manipulative, constantly fiending for a high.

He lied for the sake of self pleasure, he cheated ‘friends’ for the sake of money.

He snuck out at all hours of the night with little to no care for what his family felt or thought.

He flunked out of school, hardly graduating high school.

Freshman year of college, he overdosed.

His family sent him far across the country, to an in treatment facility.

The rehab center focused on finding the root of the abuse, but the blonde man had long forgotten why he even dabbled in the first place. He was lost in the drug. He was lost in himself. His parents still considered him their trouble child.

His younger siblings hardly mentioned him anymore.

His Dad grew detached and depressed at the sight of his sickly looking, addicted son.

His Mom grew depressed, questioning everything she did as a parent.

The young blonde man was empty. Alone. Far from recovery.

As soon as he left the center, he dabbled again.

& again,

& again,

& again.

Until he overdosed yet again. This time, near fatal.

He was sent all over the country at his parents expense, in an attempt to find solutions.

He attempted to take his own life while staying in one of the facilities.

He suffered through all forms of withdrawals, he suffered with all forms of mental illness.

He struggled with valuing his own life.

He became obsessed with the idea of departing from this world,

And ultimately, his family had no options left.

At twenty three years old, the young blonde boy was a blonde man.

Dangerously thin, incredibly irritable, and experiencing horrible mood swings.

He struggled to balance his emotions and his addiction.

He switched from optimistic, to suicidal within a matter of seconds.

But he never stopped trying to see himself through.

After so many years, all he wanted was to make his parents proud.

He returned to California, and he stayed at an inhome treatment center for over a month.

He was given responsibilities, he was rewarded with weekly allowance, and words of encouragement. In the past, he was given prescriptions in an attempt to ease his depression. It wasn’t until he was staying in the inhome treatment center, that he was informed he had ADHD.

All of the fidgeting, all of the trouble focusing in school. All of the time he spent believing something was wrong with him, was explained. He thought back to when he was a boy, and he grew angry.

His parents always told him that he just needed to try harder.

To get a scholarship.

To be better.

To be normal.

As a boy, he thought becoming a famous basketball player would gain his parents approval.

As a man, he believed becoming healthy would gain his own approval.

He stopped labeling himself as a mess, the way his parents did.

He stopped considering himself misunderstood.

He started believing there was another way.

He had drowned in addiction, in every way imaginable.

But at twenty three years old, he was ready to swim.

He wouldn’t know it at the time, but at twenty four, he would be clean.

He would be employed, and he would be working for a college degree.

He would travel, find friends, and feel immense self belief.

Ultimately, through many years of suffering at the hands of opioid addiction,

He would conquer his demons.

He would make himself proud.