13, that was the age that I had my first taste. It was an innocent little sip of wine during a family Christmas, but if only I would have known what that one sip of wine was going to lead to. My family was known for having a good time, they use to say no one knows how to party like the Jones’. Being the youngest of my family I always felt like I had to prove I was not a baby anymore.

When I was 16, I had a boyfriend. He liked to hang out with an older crowd. I started out as the DD because I did not like the taste of beer, but then on New Year’s Eve my boyfriend and his friends convinced to get drunk. We were staying the night and they said I had nothing to worry about, so I did. I got drunk for the first time. The next morning, I puked my guts out and I felt awful the rest of the day. I went home and had to hide my hangover from my parents, however, after that night we partied every weekend. I got to the point where I did not even get sick anymore. At the time I was proud of myself, I could out drink guys twice the size of me and I had no idea the effect it was having on my body.

            After I started drinking is when my decision making went south. My relationship ended, I started hanging out with a bad crowd of people and lying to my family about where I was and what I was doing. One particular night I told my mom I was staying at a friend’s house in Houston but I was actually 2 hours away from Houston, drinking and getting caught. The cops showed up and I got m first possession. No big deal, you just pay a fine and go to class and in a year, it is off your record, right? Well, that would have been the case if I stopped there.

            I continued to party in high school and it only got worse when I went off to college. I drank every day, mimosas in the morning, wine coolers in the afternoon and whisky at night. I do not remember attending a single class, must be why I never graduated. I moved back in with my parents, so embarrassed to face the world I drank my feelings away. I could not hold down a job or a relationship, my own family was ready to disown me. Then one day when I ran out of booze, I jumped in my car completely incoherent and started to drove down the road. I somehow made it to the gas station, bought by bottle of Captain Morgan and started to drive home. It was on that drive home when my entire life changed. Struggling to open my bottle while I drove, not paying attention to the road and then BANG. I remember thinking, oh crap I just hit another racoon. I pull over, got out and looked back at the road, I see a mother holding her child in the middle in of the road.

            You know they say the best way to get sober is to isolate yourself from the problem. Let me tell you that is easy to do from prison. I was arrested for child endangerment, DWI and failure to maintain control. Thankfully the child I hit survived but a piece of me died that day. The alcoholic died. Although I am currently 6 years sober, I still struggle each and every day. It is difficult to be around alcohol knowing I cannot handle it and my body cannot handle it.

The damage done to my liver is incurable, my brain did not fully develop so I still have troubles with simple math and reading making it hard to find a good paying job. I am still living with my parents and most likely will be for a while. All of this, all of this happened because I could not say no. I ruined my own life just by pressing my lips to a bottle and I stand here today asking, begging that you do not let yourself down like my teenager self-let me down, like my adult self that child down. You have the power to say no.