I head towards it and peer out into the black void that the outside becomes at nighttime. I turn the golden round knob that shines under the light of the entryway. I walk out into the darkness shutting the door behind me and locking it. I slip the small silver key into the pocket of my jeans and walk down the porch steps. The street spreads out in front of my house, seemingly going for forever in each direction. Street lamps shine spotlights onto the dark asphalt. I walk down the driveway and turn onto the sidewalk. Trees line the patches of grass in between me and the street. Stars create little splashes of bright yellow-white light in the sky like flicking paint onto a canvas. 

The stars. Alice always loved stars and anything to do with space ever since we were little. In the summer, we would go outside almost every night and lay in the grass in front of her house to watch the stars. She would point out constellations and tell me what she knew about them, her explanations getting longer each summer as her knowledge grew like wildflowers. We were even able to pitch a tent in her yard a few times and sleep under the star painted sky. This was all before “it” happened though. 

I smile sadly as I continue walking. I’m far away enough from my house now that I can just barely make it out in the distance when I look back. A different house catches my attention as I pass by. One of the windows on the second floor is open and the room is soaked in a slightly dimmed blue light. I remember when we were in high school and we would hang out in my room some nights. I would turn on my lava lamps and play music out of my speaker. If it was warm enough, we would open the window a crack to let the gentle night breeze float in. We would sit on my bed and talk or play games. We had plans to go to the same college and Alice would tell me how excited she was to take more classes that actually interested her. I would say that even though we probably wouldn’t have any classes together, we would still have to hang out all the time and do homework together. She would always agree. But that was before last year when I had to leave that dream behind and complete my freshman year of college alone. 

Then my thoughts return back to her and where she is now. In the hospital, alone with only her own thoughts to keep her company. If she even has thoughts, maybe she just dreams as she lays there asleep, my friend like a ghost and a stranger who put her to sleep now in her place. I look up at the sky again and the stars seem to burn a little dimmer now, seeming to have been sucked up into the black void.