I Was Always Here | Teen Ink

I Was Always Here

November 20, 2009
By Ethershine SILVER, Dublin, Pennsylvania
Ethershine SILVER, Dublin, Pennsylvania
5 articles 2 photos 6 comments

I hold your hand. It's so pale, matching the shade of your ghostly white face. Your knees are drawn up to your chest, your other arm limply wrapped around them.

The air conditioning starts up, causing a racket in the tiny bathroom you and I are cramped into. Its noise competes with the sound of the steady flow of water coming out of the shower head and spilling over your hair. We're both soaked to the bone, but we don't mind.

I press my thumb into your wrist, and you wince. Gently, as if you're asleep, I try to bring my other hand to it as quietly as possible and apply even pressure. I tip my head forward and kiss the heel of your hand, because I love you.
We're alone in here, you stripped down you your underwear, I in my Kings of Leon t-shirt, jeans, and wet socks. The note is here as well, damp, clinging to the denim of my thigh. It's probably embarrassing to you that all didn't go as planned.

I was supposed to walk in and find you dead. And I was supposed to read the note and cry, and then I would tell your parents. But instead, you're awake...at least long enough for me to kiss your hands and tell you you're loved.

And somehow I can't believe you didn't realize...that I was always the one who would catch you when you fell, the one whose shoulder was a good place to cry, who brought DVDs to your house in the pouring rain so you wouldn't have to be alone, who threw away your razors just to give you a reason not to cut.
I was always here to read you stories because you cry in the dark...and six hours later I would bike over to help you sneak out. And I would hold your hand when your father called you on the phone, and we would go to the highest cliffs and the steepest roller-coasters because the adrenaline takes it off your mind. I would brush foundation onto your arms when you wore short-sleeves, because I wanted to save you from their words and remarks. I would cut class with you when you needed to cry.

I can't believe you didn't realize that in the end I would always be here, pressing my thumbs into your wrists to keep you alive.
Because I love you.

The author's comments:
Sometimes all it takes is a friend. Being there when they need you is as powerful as holding their wrists when they want to end it all.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Aug. 31 2012 at 4:19 pm
Shahiro PLATINUM, Johnston, Iowa
20 articles 2 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Soon we must all choose between what is right and what is easy." - Dumbledore (Goblet of Fire)

this is absolutley amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Dec. 30 2009 at 8:51 pm
fall_from_grace SILVER, Lakeside, Arizona
6 articles 6 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
(yes, I do note the irony in quoting this)

... I'm crying. This is heartbreaking and utterly wonderful, and it's made me cry.

on Dec. 24 2009 at 3:57 pm
LeslieAnn BRONZE, Midvale, Utah
1 article 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\"Dream as if you\\\\\\\'ll live forever, Live as if you\\\\\\\'ll die today\\\\\\\" \\\\\\\"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain.\\\\\\\"

Abosolutly increadible. Its very deep and i'm really impressed