Oops. I didn’t know it was going to do that.

I was standing at the top of the stair well, the stairs connecting the second story to the first story. The pretty glass vase that Mom got a year ago was now in tiny pieces below on the floor of the hall in the first story. The roses, scary roses with sharp thorns and too red petals, were scattered around those tiny pieces. They didn’t look too evil from a distance.

“Ah, Ari!” screamed Mom. She was almost crying now. I didn’t want her to cry. She shouted at me some more, then sent me to my room. She threatened to cancel my eighth birthday party before she closed the door. I sat on the floor, too confused and miserable to lie on the bed. I sighed and began to hum a tune I had heard my brother, Adrien, singing the other day. He’s twelve. I think the song was called “Here Comes the Sun”. Maybe.

I sighed again. Then I got up and began to spin in circles. I closed my eyes and threw my arms out, still humming. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. The darkness behind my eyes spun round and around and around… Then I fell down and began to giggle.


Six years later.



I stared at my reflection, wondering how I had gotten this tall. I was skinny, only because I barely ate, with long limbs and a long torso. Dressed all in black, I looked even skinnier. I played with the lipstick in my bony hands, then painted my lips with it. I tossed it onto my night stand, then glowered at myself at the mirror. Running a hand through my chestnut brown hair, I wondered again how I had gotten this tall in the matter of years.

I sat down on the floor, too confused and miserable to lie on the bed. Unbidden, the melody to “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles drifted into my mind. I began to hum it to myself, remembering that my brother had taught it to me on the acoustic guitar sitting on its stand in the corner of my room. He was going to college soon across the country. I was going to miss him. I remembered when I was eight, all that I had to do to cheer myself up was to spin around in circles until I fell down. Being only the same height as a yard stick back in the day, all the damage that would happen to my body was a little bump on my butt that would go away in a minute or so. If I did that now, I might fall and break my arm or something, being nearly five foot seven.

However, I didn’t feel like being a reckless and hormonal fourteen year old. So I decided to be, briefly, a naïve and careless eight year old.

I got up and began to spin in circles. I closed my eyes and threw my arms out, still humming. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. The darkness behind my eyes spun round and around and around… Then I fell and hit my head on the back of my desk chair.

Oops. I didn’t know it was going to do that.