Why did you hurt me???? | Teen Ink

Why did you hurt me????

June 11, 2010
By Fires SILVER, Eagle Pass, Texas
Fires SILVER, Eagle Pass, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Follow your heart always!

How do you live when your mother would rather be with a man than with you? When I was young I remember I was the center of attention but things changed when my mom met a new man. She would rather spend her time on the phone talking about their future. I was always outside by myself until midnight and she didn’t care where I was. One weekend I decided to stay with my grandma because she was going shopping and she needed help. We had a great time my grandma is my role model and she is the greatest grandma in the whole wide world. She is the only one I trust because she is the only one who tells me she loves me and that I am her light, and the moon she talks to when she feels sad or happy. On Monday afternoon when I got home from school my mom was nowhere to be found. I started to cry not knowing if something bad happened to her or if she was in the hospital. My grandma stayed with me we had no news of my mother. Then after a couple of weeks she called and said that she got married, is in another state, and that she is very happy. She didn’t ask about me or if I was okay she just said look for someone who might want her because I don’t want her. I stayed with my grandma a couple of weeks then my uncle called and said his wife wanted kids but couldn’t have any. The next weekend my grandma took me to my uncle’s house my room was decorated with Power Puff Girls my room was amazing. But I wanted to be with my mom so bad but I couldn’t do anything about it. I stayed with my aunt and uncle’s house for three years and I was really happy until my aunt had a baby girl and I knew it was time for me to leave because I didn’t want to be the other daughter in the family. I was going to be the adopted daughter who would be treated different and my opinions and ideas would just be ignored. I decided to call my mom and asked her if I could live with her and she needed to ask her husband so she would have to call later to let me know. Then about a week she called and said that her husband said yes and I could start packing. I told my aunt and uncle and they were sad and mad at the same time but I wanted to be with my mom. That’s when I made my first mistake leaving a house where my cousin/sister and I were the center of attention I left that for pain and more pain. When I arrived my mom treated me with love and she was always me if I needed anything and if there was in way she could help me feel at home. Her husband was okay but after a year he started to treat me like intruder he was always telling me to clean my room and that I was a dirty girl because my room was always a mess but his room was dirtier than mine. I don’t want to stay with them but I don’t have a choice. I will have to continue to deal with no love, no kisses, no hugs, and no attention, no nothing from my mother everything goes to him. I don’t have anything from her just a house, food, and clothes buts that’s not what I need. I want her kisses, her hugs, her attention but I will never have it because I will always be second. I forgave her for leaving me but she betrayed me again and again but I will never forgive her again. She is my mother and I can NEVER change that but you will pay for all the hours I spend crying over you for wanting a kiss, a hug, or even a touch. You want to be with him so I will leave you to be with him forget about me and I hope you one-day regret wanting him instead of me. It will be too late when you ask forgiveness I will never forgive you made a mistake no one is perfect but I am not the person you should ask forgiveness. Everyone will pay for his or her mistakes I will pay for leaving my aunt and uncle, coming to live with a mother who doesn’t love me, and for forgiving you when you left me. I am human and I will continue to make mistakes like you and everyone who lives in this world. By making mistakes we will become better people and we will learn how not to do things. I will continue to deal with you because I have no choice and I want to give you another chance but I know that’s another mistakes I am making but I cant live with fear all my life if I do I will never get nowhere. I don’t want to be like her always afraid of the world and what people think. She only listens to her husband and her husband and her husband. I am sick of it but I will be stronger than her I will move on because I want to be a good person for society I want to make a difference. I hope everyone who reads this article never gives up no matter what kind of problems you may have. Always find the bright side of things. Never give up no matter what happens. No one is worth enough for you to destroy or change your life try to live your life at the fullest. No matter what!!

The author's comments:
I want people who read this to never give up. Be stronger for you and for the people who love you but remember you must love yourself first before others can love you.

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