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The Kidnapping
One day I was just looking out my bedroom window, when I feel a cold, wet glove over my mouth. So out of reaction, I start screaming. But know one can here me. I look up, and I see a mask, with just slits for the mouth, nose and eyes. So he says “ shhhh, be quite you screaming baby, BE QUITE!!!!!” He pulls out a gun, that is when I shut up. He pulls me up, with one arm and he kicks me and tells me to walk. So I do, “ walk faster!” So I do, it is dark, and my parents are out shopping, so I was just home alone, looking out onto the water. He takes me out to his black volvo, and tells me to get in the back. So I do. He drives really fast, fastest i've ever been driven. He looks up at me, that is then, right then, I recognize those eyes. I have seen them before, I just dont know were. So I ask him to take off his mask, but he refuses. I just ignore it. I ask him where we are going, but he doesn't respond. We keep on driving, and driving and driving. I look out the window, and it is dark, really dark. I think about my parents, they are probably freaking out about where I am. I look at the clock, it says 11:43 pm. Suddenly I hear that voice again, he is asking me what my name is, “ Xavier” I say, “ How old are you Xavier?” I respond and say I am 17 when I am really only 15. He seems to buy it. Few. So again, I ask were we are going, this time he responds. “ Right now, we are going to a hotel, just because I need to get some sleep. The hotel that we are going to is not a normal, it is my hotel, I own it. The beds notice when you get up in the night and they start a big alarm, so they would wake me up. That way, you can't go anywhere.” Well thats wonderful, I can't escape.
So finally we arrive at the hotel, but it is in NO way look like a hotel. This hotel only has one room, it is so small I think only 4 or 5 people could fit in it. Max. Once we get to the one room, he tells me to get into the bed, and go to sleep. I look at him and say “ I'm not tired” he looks me and pulls out his gun and says “ you mean you are tired, right?” As he says that he, slowly moves closer and closer, so by the time he finishes, the gun is pressed up the side of my head, just above my ear. So clearly I say, No, I am still not tired. Then I hear him pull his gun back, and asks me one more time, if I was tired, and once again, I replyed with a clear “NO”. I don't know why I answered that, but I guess I just wanted to die. So he carefully places his finger on the trigger and counts down, 5, 4, 3, “ are you ready to die?” I don't respond. 2,1, I cringe my eyes . 0!
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This article has 11 comments.
It felt rushed, I think you should have put in more detail and the part about recognizing his eyes seemed a little weird because nothing ever happened around that part. The grammer mistakes made it seem a little amteur-ish. Its a good story theme, though.
I love the piece! It was very well written, however I think you could work on punctuation and spelling a little bit. There were a couple of parts that had me a little confused. I had to go back and check punctuation. Other than that I love it, and I think you could actually write a little sequel type thing to this. It was a total cliff hanger, and you really did have to form your own opinion on how it ended.
I don't think he died. And I would love to see where your thoughts on the ending were. Thanks for sharing this!
awesome loved the ending even though he died