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The Way of the Teenage Girl
“Hey Liz,” I heard Tina say as I picked up my cell phone. “What’s up?”
“Just doing my math homework,” I responded. “It’s so much fun.”
“Sounds like a party,” she answered, sarcastically. “You wearing your special math party dress?”
“No, it’s in the wash, actually,” I answered lazily as I flipped through the pages of my math textbook. “I’m wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. It’s a casual math party.” We both laughed.
“I have some huge news for you,” Tina said, suddenly excited.
“What?” I replied, willing to hear anything to take my mind off of algebra.
“I heard from Lena that Sarah told her that Mike Fitzgerald told her that Jack Bradley is going to call you tonight and ask you to prom,” she said all in one breath.
“Ah!” I shrieked, giddily, “I have been waiting for Jack to ask me to prom forever. This is so exciting! Oh my gosh, Tina! What do I say?”
“Um,” she replied with a laugh, “How about yes?!”
“Duh, Tina,” I answered, as, suddenly, a flock of nervous butterflies erupted in my stomach. “What do I say when he calls? I’m nervous!”
“Just say-,” suddenly, Tina was cut off by a beep in the phone.
“Tina, that’s my other line,” I told her. “Stay on the line, though.”
“What if it’s Jack!” she shouted excitedly into the phone.
“I think it is!” I responded with mutual excitement and clicked through to the other line.
“Hey, is this Liz?” I heard a deep male voice on the other line say as I clicked through.
“Y-y-yes,” I said nervously, my heart pounding faster by the second, “Yes, this is Liz. Who’s this?”
“Hey, it’s Jack Bradley,” he responded, nonchalantly. My stomach turned.
“Huh!” I gasped out of excitement. “Jack, hi, could you just wait one minute? I have to click through to my other line."
“Sure,” he responded coolly, and I quickly clicked through back to Tina.
“Tina!” I shouted, “It’s Jack!”
“Oh my gosh!” she replied. “Did he ask you yet?!”
“No not yet,” I answered, out of breath from all the excitement. “He’s still on the other line. I just wanted to tell you.”
“This is so exciting!” she cried. “Get back to him, though! I’ll stay on the line!”
“Alright,” I answered with a smile and clicked back through.
“Hey, Jack,” I answered, trying to sound calm and collected. “Sorry I had to make you wait. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” he responded, “Just got home from baseball practice. I’m still in my uniform, it’s a mess!” he laughed.
I giggled in response. “I love baseball,” I lied, trying to uphold the conversation.
“Do you?” he answered, suddenly more interested than before. “What’s your favorite team?”
“My favorite team?” I replied, suddenly panic stricken. I don’t even like baseball! I thought to myself. “Oh, that’s my other line,” I lied again, “I’ll be right back.”
“Tina, he wants to know what my favorite baseball team is. This conversation is headed for disaster.”
“Baseball?” she sounded confused, “You hate baseball?”
“I know that!” I cried with, panicked, “Help me! What’s my favorite team?!”
“Just say the Phillies,” she replied quickly, “Every Philadelphian loves them.”
“Good idea,” I said thoughtfully, “Thanks!”
“Sorry about that again, Jack!” I replied, again trying to feign calmness in my voice. “My favorite team is the Phillies.”
“Awesome,” he answered enthusiastically. “Same here! What are your predictions for this upcoming post season?”
My heart stopped. What the heck is a postseason? I thought to myself.
“Could you wait just one second, Jack?”
“He wants to know my predictions!” I shouted to Tina, panicked all over again.
“Predictions of what?” she replied, confused.
“I don’t know!” I cried. “Something about posters or seasonings? Help!”
“What does that even mean?” she answered, just as panicked as I was. “Just say you have none.”
“Okay, thanks Tina. You’re a lifesaver.”
“Sorry again, Jack,” I said, partially out of breath, “I have no predictions for the poster’s seasonings.”
“Oh…” he said, his tone a mixture of confusion and disappointment.
There was an awkward silence for a few seconds.
“Well, I actually wanted to ask you something, Liz,” he said, a bit of enthusiasm trailing back into his vioce. This is it! I thought excitedly to myself.
“I hate to do this to you again, Jack,” I replied, hardly suppressing my overwhelming excitement, “but just give me one second!”
“Ah!!!” I screamed into the phone, letting it all out. “Tina, Jack says he wants to ask me a question!”
“That’s it, Liz!” she replied giddily. “I knew it! He’s gonna ask you now.”
“I know!” I exclaimed, “I finally have a prom date!”
“I’m here, Jack,” I said, smiling more widely than I ever have before. It took everything in me not to scream right then and there. “You wanted to ask me something?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said casually, “What was tonight’s math homework?”