How i got better... | Teen Ink

How i got better...

March 21, 2011
By LeehaFox831 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
LeehaFox831 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I became insane, With long intervals of horrible sanity- Edgar Allan Poe


My name is Brittany Wells, I have a problem. A large problem that only I can fix.
First let’s tell you how it all started. It started gradually, I was beaten as a young child, and I didn’t have many friends and my dad left before I even knew him. My step dad smoked weed every day around me. So one day I decided since my mom and my step dad could smoke it I could to, so I grabbed some of the wrapped up weed and a cigarette. Though I didn’t know how exactly to do this stuff I just did it and I actually felt good after I smoked them both, at first I coughed and then I got used to the smoke going through my lungs. Then once I got into my middle school years I started to stop eating and started throwing up everything I ate. Every time I looked in the mirror, my brain distorted the picture and made me think that I was fat. Though I was so skinny, I never realized it. At this time I was getting high every day and I wasn’t eating at all. Then once I entered high school I had a teacher tell me that I had horrible problems, and at the time I thought this teacher has no clue what I go through at home, she doesn’t understand at all. Then one day there was this small voice in my head telling me how many calories everything had in them and how much time it would take to throw it all up. I thought I was going crazy. All the while my mom was worried about how her nails chipped and how she had so many rallies to go to. My mom was a breast cancer rallied; she didn’t even realize I was stealing her pills, starving myself and that I was cutting myself she didn’t care enough she thought that I was still her little girl who did nothing bad. But the fact that she had always said if you’d just lose some weight around here as she was pointing to my stomach, that was when I started to starve myself.

One night I had a big fight with my boyfriend I couldn’t even remember what it was about but I took a variety of my mom’s pills and couldn’t help but feel like I could just go to sleep and never wake again, but I have no clue what stopped me from taking all of them I only ended up taking a sleeping pill. When I woke up in the morning my head hurt and when I took off my clothes to check how much I weighed and see how fat I was that morning I saw that I weighed only 79 pounds and that my skin looked like it was horribly gross and I then went to my best friend and asked her to get me some help and to take me to a health care person. The health care women told me that I needed my mother there to I gave her my mother’s number and she came right away. She told me that I had to get better in a certain place where they would monitor everything I did and I actually liked having the attention and the fact that she was helping me get better.

Now I’m much better and I have not cut or stolen pills since and I try not to tell my son and daughters what I went through when I was their age. I have fixed my problems and know I live a happy life.



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