I stare beyond the pond in a daze. The old playground sits just on the other side. Do you remember that place Josephine? Do you remember the old playground? Where I would push you on the swings then you would laugh and giggle? As your small, blond, curls would glide as you went back and forth through the air? I remember having to go down the slide with you every time because you were too scared. I would hold you close, and we would smile wildly on our way down. The last time you went down that slide you told me you were old enough to go down on your own. I stood down at the bottom, and as you descended down towards me I held out my arms to catch you. I held you tight and never wanted to let go, because that moment was perfect.

Still, time had to keep going.

Do you remember that day Josephine? The day I ran a red light? The day that truck driver had been running late? That day I would never see your smile again?

I do.

I wasn’t paying attention, and you were in your car seat in the back. We were on our way home from the park. Mom and Dad wanted us home for lunch. I hadn’t seen the light turn from green, to yellow, to red.

I wish I could remember, but that memory is such a blur it’s hard to say what really happened. I rode in the ambulance with you. They wanted me to go in a separate one, but I refused. I watched as they tried to revive you, I was there, and I was your witness, but they couldn’t save you.

I hadn’t meant it, and I miss you, Josephine. Mom and Dad blame me, but they won’t admit it. I can see it their eyes, they’ve never acted the same around me ever since.

A tear rolled down my eye as I stared at the kids across the pond with their parents, and older siblings. Do you remember me? Do you remember anything? Anything at all? Because I remember, and I doubt I’ll ever forget you, Josephine.