If I knew then what I know now maybe the stress wouldn’t have been so high. I would say at an early age I knew how to take car of my self and others. My whole life I was forced to be strong, be a leader, and be somebody in this world.

Many people take life for granted, but I learn at an early age not everything is black and white. I’ve had people walk out of my life, die, and tell me they don’t want to be apart of me. It made me feel alone.

Back when I was eight or nine I didn’t believe in hope. I thought when a person who is a part of my life walks out or doesn’t want to be around or is sick there is no reason in trying to make them stay or praying for them to get better. I thought when something is over its over and I had no wile to fight. But as I continued to grow up and stop being so hard and stubborn, I learned, to stand up for myself and be independent and fight for what I want. I believe when one door closes, it only means a bigger and better door will open.

I believe my mom got sick with COPD to teach my siblings and I not to smoke. She got sick so I could learn to appreciate every minute I have with each person in my life, because I will never know when he or she will get diagnosed with a terrible life threatening disease.

I believe my aunt was taking from her husband and son by a drunk driver, so I would never get behind the wheel intoxicated. God took her to show my whole family who has trouble with alcohol, not to drink and drive.
I believe my dad used to leave at four in the morning to feed his addiction and the pain in his heart to show me that alcohol and drugs are not the way, and no matter how high or drunk I get, the pain never goes away, and the pain will still make your body ache. He taught me that getting high makes it all go away only for a little while. Also, When I wake up in the morning not only would I remember what I did, I would hurt more knowing I hurt the people who cared about me. He taught me that drugs don’t make pain go away forever.
I believe Nathan, my first love, first boyfriend, first kiss, and the fist person I was ever with left my life, so I could learn to deal with heartache. He left because he wasn’t the one. He left so I could meet new people. He left so I could find Joshua Thomas Dupre.

So yes I believe doors close for new ones to open, and yes I believe everything happens for a reason, and yes I believe in the end I’ll be happy.