The Special Place | Teen Ink

The Special Place

November 14, 2011
By AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

The Special Place

A cool wind sends a ripple across the flat sea. The sky is lit up with orange and purple, the sea is deep indigo. Before me the sun sets like a gigantic beach ball. The wind rushes over me, it gently lifts my hair off my shoulders, for a moment my hair flutters like a bird in the wind, as the wind dies my hair sinks back to me. That indescribable smell of freshness slips over me like water. All I can see is sea. It spreads out before me, an eternity of blue. It touches the rocks beneath me. It reaches right to the sky, and kisses the sun as it sets. The sea spreads out on both sides, and caresses the beach like a silk scarf. Surely this is the gateway to another world. The sea is a world of it’s self. Maybe there are just three worlds, earth, sea and sky. I spread my arms out. The wind catches at my shirt.

Just half a year ago, this place was heaven. The sea’s waves beckoned to us, its sweet singing as it scraped the sand begged us to swim. So we did. I remember that happiness. This place warmed my soul. Our laughter would echo throughout the ancient stones and the sea would envelop it.
This little patch of utopia. I would see this place in my dreams.

My brother and me would run down here every morning. While night creatures still skulked. The sea was so wide and dark. We wanted to swim to the edge of the world and catch the sun. We wanted to dive to the bottom of the sea and see the monsters that dwell there. We wanted to be here forever. That wide space of openness, that beautiful empty, where all life began, the sea!

We loved the sea so, we forgot to fear it. A storm spread across the open space. Gone was the blue sky. Gone was the peaceful whispering. Gone was my brother.

I remember how that storm roared like a thousand lions. It’s grey clouds reached for me like talons. The rain pelted down so hard. Those raindrops were like needles on my skin. The rocks were turned to black, and the sea to foam. I couldn’t escape. The sea gripped me, and sucked me underneath the waves. Air was a treasure I kept on loosing. I reached for his hand, but it slipped away.

There is still a part of me that loves this place. I sit up high on this rock. Looking at the sea, feeling the breeze and waiting for another storm. This sight is so ancient. The sea existed before we did. It will exist after us. No matter how strong we get, we can never beat the sea. Its foamy ropes can always pull us under and drown us. The sea will always win.
This little patch of hell. I see this place in my nightmares.

The author's comments:
I had to write this to a title I was given at school, I wasn't expecting to come up with this piece from the title.
This is one page long.

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This article has 8 comments.

on Dec. 30 2011 at 2:10 pm
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

This was really sad, but I feel like if you made it even sadder and added in more tears, that would be better.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 12:57 am
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
Im still blown away by your use of imagery. Its so amazing its practically unbearable

on Nov. 25 2011 at 1:35 pm
LifesIllusion BRONZE, Cicero, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let your fears slow you down. Instead, chase them down and beat them."

My favorite part is the end! It is subtle but makes a great ending!!! I loved it:)

on Nov. 23 2011 at 3:59 pm
Danealle SILVER, Wheeling, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anything is possible with a smile and goal in mind.

I love how you weaved in the part about the brother ever so gently. 

BluBliss GOLD said...
on Nov. 17 2011 at 5:22 pm
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
14 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bella's love for Edward was like, "Omg. He's hot. He's mine because he sparkles. Now I'll brood the wholle book while I'm with him."

This little piece of heaven, this little piece of hell. I love your aility oto describe things! it's magnificent! the sea will always win.... It's like you have that ability to twist your perspective around so you can see things in such new ways.

on Nov. 17 2011 at 12:41 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

I love the ending.  Awesome work, keep it up. :)

on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:45 am
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

I know exactly what you mean about the short sentences, i hate them perosonally. I wrote this peiece as an english paper so i had to show i 'could use short sentences for effect' or something. As for the 'me' vs 'i' thing, that is also an english thing i wanted to prove i was 'able to create voice' that mistake is common when people talk. Thank you for your comments!

on Nov. 15 2011 at 6:37 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Okay, I have a bit of criticism.

1.  “The wind rushes over me, it gently lifts my hair off my shoulders, for a moment my hair flutters like a bird in the wind, as the wind dies my hair sinks back to me.”  This sentence would be grammatically correct if you put ‘and’ in front of ‘for.’

2.  Short sentences are annoying.  They are jerky to read.  Stop using them so much.  Especially in a row.  Vary up the length. 

3.  “The sea is a world of it’s self.”  ‘it’s’ should be ‘its’ because you are talking about an object.

4.  “My brother and me would run down here every morning.”  It should be “My brother and I.”

5.  “It’s grey clouds reached for me like talons.”  Again, you used the wrong ‘its’.

6.  “Air was a treasure I kept on loosing.”  There is only one ‘o’ in ‘losing.’

Despite all this criticism, I do like the idea of your story!  Good work!