Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee!
Yawn! I guess it’s time to wake up. Switching off my alarm clock (that sounds like a child screaming in my ear), I roll right over the edge of the bed. And once again I’m glad for the “catching nest” I’ve built out of body pillows, comforters, clean towels and beanbag chairs. “Lovely little nest,” I think with a smile, “I could just lie here forever.”
WHAM!! My door slams open. “Or not!” I'm still thinknig to myself. “Why aren’t you dressed yet?!?!” My mother screeches at me after slamming my door open and seeing me in my nest. Upon looking at her I know it’s going to be a long day. As usual she’s “done up” but today she brought it to a new extreme. Let me describe it for you; her hair is in a beehive, her earrings are bigger than her hands (I can see her ears stretching), her make-up makes her look like a clown (Mega red lips, fake eyelashes, and enough cover-up to hide an elephant.) and the most appalling outfit ever!!! She has on stiletto pirate boots (gold), a patchwork gypsy skirt (light purple and burgundy) and a long sleeve shirt with huge, HUGE shoulders!!! What was she thinking? For accessories she had her nails done so that they were pointy like a cat’s (gold with green tiger stripes). And I know she has a big, gross, puke-green purse waiting downstairs!
“You need to put on the dress I bought you! Come on! Chop, Chop! You know I looked everywhere to find that dress so that it would match you complexion, shoes, purse, hair, undertones and makeup! Come on get up and get dressed! WE GOTTA GO!!” she chirped. Its official, I hate when people chirp.
You’re probably asking yourself “why is her mom dressed so weird?” “Where does she have to go?” Well my friend I can sum it all up for you in 2 words:
“CHARITY DINNER”