The time I went to the fair was the first time I disobeyed my parents.

My dad was out of town and my mom wouldn’t let me go. Did I really have another choice? I wanted to go to the fair so badly and staying home was not an option for me on Friday nights. Veronica invited me, and if I didn’t show up like I said I would, she would think I was loser. But then again, why did I care what Veronica thought? Then I remembered.

Veronica’s opinions of people were always right.

Like that time she told everyone that Jacob was a rotten, fake, pathetic loser. The next day it was revealed that he plagiarized on his science fair project and was disqualified. Everyone agreed that he actually was a rotten, fake, pathetic loser, just like Veronica said. Sometimes I wonder if the things Veronica said about Jacob were actually true, or if they only became true because she had said it. It was weird concept to think about.

But I didn’t want to take any chances.

So now you understand. Now you understand that the reason I had to sneak out to the fair was because I couldn’t risk Veronica thinking I’m a loser. My whole life would’ve crumbled before my eyes.
The time I went to the fair was also the first time I committed a robbery.

But it wasn’t as bad it sounds, honestly. I was standing with Veronica’s friend, whose name I can’t remember, but she told me that she forgot her purse at home. She didn’t have any money to go on any rides, so I decided to split my tickets with her. I was just trying to be nice, but fairs are a lot more expensive than they should be and we ran out of tickets after only a few rides.

Then there it was: the wallet sitting on a tabletop with only a four year old guarding it. Veronica’s friend told me what to do. She was going to distract the kid by talking to him about whatever character was on his shirt and I was to take thirty dollars from the wallet while the kid’s parents continued to buy their cheesy fries.

There was a lot of money in there, you don’t have to worry. The kid most likely got to go on all the rides he wanted to and I bet his parents didn’t even notice the money was gone. My intentions were good hearted, so really, what I did wasn’t that bad. I only did it for the welfare of Veronica’s friend. Whatever her name was.

The time I went to the fair was also the first time I gambled.

We ran out of tickets again because Veronica’s friend had another friend join us. I gave half my tickets to her. Then Veronica’s friend was gone and it was just me and the girl. I knew her name this time: it was Courtney.

The one thing that I noticed about Courtney was that she complained a lot. The fact that we didn’t have any more tickets seemed to be the biggest disappointment in the world.

Then we ran into this boy named Dakota who seemed to like Courtney a lot. She asked him for tickets and he said he would give her ten for a kiss. When she gave him a kiss, I told her ten tickets wouldn’t even get us on two rides each. She laughed and told me she wasn’t splitting her tickets with me.

Then Dakota told me he would give me twenty tickets if I could kiss better than Courtney. I kissed him and didn’t end up getting those tickets.

The time I went to the fair was also the first time I blackmailed someone.

I was walking alone then and I didn’t have any tickets and I was about to go home when I saw my dad.

The same dad who was supposed to be out of town.

He was with another lady and they were doing something in the bushes that I couldn’t see. But I called out his name and he seemed very startled and there was some rustling in the bushes. He came out and told me that I couldn’t tell Mom what I just saw.

So I told him that I would keep that promise under a couple of conditions. He would have to buy me whatever I wanted and give me money whenever I asked him.

He agreed, but the thing is, I didn’t even know what secret I was keeping for him.

The time I went to the fair was also the first time I buried a body.

Dakota and his friends took a liking in me. They gave me something to drink and I thought it very nice of them. It made my tongue tingle. Then I was starting to walk home because the night had come to an end. But, there was something different about me. I didn’t feel aware, I didn’t feel normal. I felt dizzy.

Dakota‘s friend came up from behind me and I told him that I felt weird, and he told me that he could give me a ride home so I didn’t have to walk.

I said okay because I didn’t want to walk home when I could barely tell left from right. He led me to his car and took me home, but I soon realized that it wasn’t such a good idea because as it turned out, he could also barely tell left from right in his condition. Then I asked him how old he was and he said fifteen. I asked him why he was driving and he said he didn’t have his license. I asked him why he had this car and he told me this wasn’t his car.

While I asked him more questions, we went over a big bump. It was a really big bump on a relatively clear pathway, but Dakota didn’t stop driving to see what I was, so I turned around and looked through the back window.

It was a woman.

I started screaming at the sight of a dead body, but Dakota’s friend told me to be quiet. He told me that screaming wasn’t going to help anything. We would continue driving and pretend we were never here tonight. He told me that we didn’t do anything wrong and it was just an accident, and accidents happen all the time, so we didn’t have to accept the consequences for our actions. Especially this specific one.

I stopped screaming.

All my innocence was already lost from the time I went to the fair.