Ralph

It’s a horrible feeling to be dumped, but what is even worse is when you are abandoned by your so-called “friends,” at a goddam Carnival. I know it’s kind of pathetic that I am crying; however, those “phonies” broke my heart and this is how it happened.

It was a warm, sunny day, and I was finishing my breakfast in the dining room. I could see my dad slumped on the couch still recovering from a nasty hangover. My dad was an alcoholic; however, he wasn’t one of those cruel fathers who beat their sons. He was nice and all, but there was no real father to son relationship between us. We were more like friends who lived in the same house together rather than a father and his son. As I left my house I admired the beauty of my neighbor’s flower garden. There were daffodils, roses, dandelions, and other various types of flowers. There were yellow, blue, red, orange, and purple flowers. Man, it was so beautiful with all the different colors. It was as if you were staring at a rainbow.

On my way to the bus stop I passed the apple tree that was in front of my house. I remembered the countless years that I used to climb that apple tree with my friends and how much fun I had. When I arrived at the bus stop I met my friends who greeted me with a traditional “sup.” I replied, telling them about my drunken father laying on the couch drooling and sleep talking. They started to laugh and even though I had just made fun of my father, I knew that what I spoke was the truth and the truth only.

After school my friends invited me to go with them to the Carnival and I agreed. As we walked there we talked about girls, drugs, and alcohol, which were the typical conversations that teenagers have. As we were walking there I spotted a beautiful garden and asked my friends if we could see it. However, my request was answered with distaste when one of my friends started to laugh and called me a little girl. I got mad and punched him in the stomach. However, he laughed and told me to cool down and then continued walking. I was very surprised because the “friend” that I had hit was one of those kids who would beat the s*** out of you if you even attempted to touch him. However when I punched him he laughed.

When we arrived at the Carnival my friends told me to buy some food for them. In my ignorance I went to the food court and bought them some chips and sodas, in an attempt to please them. However, when I came back my friends had disappeared. I walked through the entire Carnival searching for my friends, with the chips and sodas clenched in my hands. However, they were nowhere to be found. I dropped the chips and sodas on the ground and ran to the nearest bathroom. I dabbed my salty tears with a paper towel and did the best I could do to stop crying, however, I just simply couldn’t. I was so upset because now I had no one. I had no friends, my mom wasn’t alive and my dad didn’t give a rat’s ass about my feelings and about me. The reason being ditched hurts me so much is because I’m very emotional and I hate when bad things happen to me. First it was my mom’s death, second was my dad’s attempt to drown away all his feelings for her by constantly drinking, and now this. I was alone, all by myself, and for the first time I felt as if life was not worth living any more.

As I left the bathroom, I walked by rows of stands with all different kinds of games such as, mini bowling, darts, ring throwing, and many more. However, I didn’t feel like playing and I decided to leave the Carnival. As I was about to leave I caught sight of a stand, where a man was selling toys and a goldfish. I walked over to the stand and looked at the goldfish, which was swimming in a small plastic bag. The man at the stand walked over to me and told me that I could have him for five dollars. I looked at the goldfish one more time admiring its beautiful orange color and I decided that I would buy him. I gave the man five dollars and he gave me the plastic bag with the goldfish. When I got home I placed the goldfish in a bowl filled with water and hid it behind my bed. I decided to call him Ralph because Ralph was my favorite character from the Lord of the Flies. I started to rant to Ralph about how I felt being abandoned as if he understood. He just looked at me, listening and I really liked it. The next few days I started to talk to Ralph a lot, telling him about my life and my feelings of sorrow when my mother died. Ralph became my best friend and even though he didn’t understand a word I said his company made me happy.

One day my dad came to my room and heard a little splash of water behind my bed and asked me what was there. I told him it was nothing, however, my dad didn’t like to be kept in the dark, so he walked right past me and he saw Ralph swimming around in his little bowl. He screamed at me, telling me that I was not supposed to bring pets in the house. I immediately jumped in front of him and told him that I had bought Ralph with my own money and that he couldn’t touch him. He laughed and told me to give Ralph to him. I told him to go away and leave Ralph alone, however, my dad was still so drunk and too boozed up to argue with me. He pushed me aside, grabbed the bowl with Ralph in it and flushed him right down the toilet. My dad left the room and I stood there in shock. I started to feel numb throughout my entire body and my legs started to shake. However, this time I didn’t cry because I was filled with such animosity towards my dad. I was suddenly engulfed in darkness and I felt that lonely feeling that I had felt at the Carnival. Even though Ralph was a fish, I loved him like I loved no other. Ralph was my best friend he made my life better because he was my only companion. He listened to me when I ranted about my problems, and he never said anything back. He loved me for who I was and I loved him for who he was.
I couldn’t take it any more. I didn’t know why God was punishing me by taking away my mother and Ralph, and for the second time I felt as if life was not worth living anymore. I walked to the beautiful apple tree, which I had climbed and sat under as a youngster and tied a rope onto one of the branches. I climbed the tree for the last time. As I stood on the branch of the tree, through my window I saw the empty plastic bag in which I had brought Ralph home in, and for the first time in a long while I smiled. I tied the rope around my head and whispered into the air “Ralph I’m coming,” and then I jumped off. I hung there for a few seconds as my vision started to fade and I knew that I would be with Ralph soon.