November 21st, 2031
(Almost 20 years after the war on terror)


The day was nice with a breeze as my daughter and I sat down on the front porch, to reminisce on our lives, when she asked me a question. A question I have been avoiding to bring up or talk about because it unlocked so many painful memories that I try to keep stored away from that time period. She asked me, “Daddy, how many men did you kill during the war”!
(Now she was old enough to understand and the question this time to seemed unavoidable). I answered her with a painful expression and said, “15 men and each time it got a little less hard to pull the trigger, but the first one was and still is the hardest to deal with. And I still remember it as if it was yesterday”….

It was late July 2002, a year since the war started, 6 months into being in a far away land (Afghanistan), and 1 month from finding out my wife back home was pregnant with MY first child….

My Command General told us that we would be watching out for al-Qaeda activity in a nearby village. Because there was not much activity going on, we took the job lightly and began playing with the children. Little did we know the people who we were supposed to be watching out for, were right there watching us. All of a sudden, thousands of shots began to ring out from all over the place. At the time all I could think was (RUN) Our Father who art in Heaven (RUN), Hallowed be thy name (RUN), Thy kingdom come Thy will be done (RUN) on Earth as it is in Heaven (RUN), Give us this day our daily bread (RUN), And forgive us for our sins (RUN) as we forgive others for their sins against us (RUN), Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil (Hide), For thine is the kingdom the power and the glory forever and ever AMEN (SHOOT TO KILL)! The hiding place I had sought out had a terrorist member already in it, and it was either wait a second to be killed or shoot and kill to come home to my family.

At this point of the story I was telling my daughter I began to weep, for myself and my fallen bothers on the front line. The tears were flowing down my cheeks because remembering the first time coming face to face with death is hard. Also given a chance to extinguish someone else’s life to come home to my family was hard as well, but my family was the only thing that kept me going to get home at any cost. When I finished recounting the story, I looked down at my daughter. She looked up at me and said, Daddy, I love you and God has forgiven you”. I could not help but smile and let go of the regret I was constantly feeling.