Impact. The striking of one body against another. Influence or effect. To press closely. Sadie has been impacted in every way. The forceful blows from a strong pair of hands. The longing sense to belong after being abandoned. The judgmental stares antagonizing her soul, trying to void her emotions until she was numb. Sadie remained brave. She held in the overwhelming fear and never produced tears. She wouldn’t dare show weakness. Without having anyone to confide in she relied on herself, she was her own best friend. Although her mother was there, it was as if she might as well be in another country. Depression is what ruled her mother’s life.
Sadie didn’t understand it nor did she try to. She accepted it and dealt with it the same way she did with her father’s death and Joe’s aggressive ways. Joe was her older brother. No one could control him. He always carried an anger inside him and after their father died his bile demeanor only intensified. One day his temper spiraled out of control and Joe was shot. The last thing he said to Sadie was, “This is all your fault.” He was referring to their father’s death. After that, Sadie didn’t have any friends – mostly out of fear. She always remained distant – afraid of the emotions that come packaged with close relationships.
Sadie’s head was a landfill of destruction. Full of destructive thoughts and the unfortunate memories she couldn’t seem to escape. Sadie was slowly dying inside. What’s worse is that no one seemed to notice. Sadie needed to get away. She thought that if she could just distance herself away from familiar territory she could no longer be hurting. She thought that maybe if she got far enough away everything would be okay. So Sadie ran. She ran away from her home – kissed her mother and said good-bye.
Now Sadie resides in the East Coast Atlantic Landfill. She rummaged through the garbage until she found an old half eaten chair. It reminded her of the chair her father sat in everyday, even after his death, but her mother had thrown it out. It was not the same color or even the same style, but it was a chair which she desperately whished was his. Everyday Sadie steals dumpster fresh food, leftovers in the small back alley ways of the tiny nearby shops in the sad run down town. Every day for two years she sat in her father’s chair and waited for the freedom she was promised, but that freedom won’t ever come. She will forever dwell in the melancholy thoughts of her mind, no matter how far she travels. There is no one who will come and try to help her. Society has failed yet again.