One Play

A cold, crisp October breeze blew through my hair as I stood and stared at the open field before me. In just a few hours I would be out there, in front of parents, in front of friends, in front of coaches, in front of recruiters. Right then, the field was so serene and peaceful, sitting silently and waiting for the pounding feet and heavy breaths of field hockey that would overtake it so soon. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. No one plays well when they’re afraid.
“Jess! There you are,” Tyler sighed and shook his head with a smile. “I should have figured.”
He was my best friend and he knew me better than anyone. I smiled.
“Yeah, I’d hope you know where to look.”
“Ready to ‘Whip Whitman’?” He put his arms out as if introducing a musical number. He loved to make up ridiculous slogans about beating whatever team it was we were about to take on. Stupid, I know, but still amusing and awfully cute.
“I wish,” I whispered.
“Oh come on,” as he punched me playfully in the arm. “You’ll never win with that attitude.”
I smiled but stayed quiet.
“Oh come on,” he repeated, more serious this time. “I know you’ll do great. You know you’ll do great. They all know you’ll do great.” He gestured at the empty stands lit by the lights overhead and the last of a fading sunset.
“Definitely, me and my million fans,” smiling again as I nodded at the empty stands. He always knew just how to make me smile.
“Hey but you won’t forget me right?” He looked right at me. “I’ll always be your number one?”
“Of course Tyler, of course,” I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. But the smiled faded as I looked back at the field and a cloud of worry passed over my face. What if I didn’t do great? What if I screwed it all up?
“Lighten up okay?” Tyler pushed my shoulder gently. “I promise, pinky promise, that you will be amazing. As usual.” The smile again. “Now you had better get going and get changed, warmups start pretty soon!”
“Alright, alright. I’m going! I’ll see you at the game, Tyler,” I waved a little as I turned from the field.
“See you then, Jess.”
I left the field and made my way back to the school building, down the hall, and into the empty team room. Always the first one in and the last one out, I liked it quiet. It gave me time to think and clear my head. I opened up my locker and pulled out the bag that held my uniform. I sat down on the bench and slowly started to get ready. First my socks, then my spandex and skirt, next the lucky sports bra I wore for every game, then my shinguards and uniform socks, and lastly my jersey. Sighing, I put my head in my hands and tried to think about nothing. But Maria Hartung-Cane wouldn’t get out of my head. Star junior, already committed to Maryland for Division One field hockey, who also happened to play for Whitman. I heard the door open and Anna, my teammate, came in.
“Hey Jess. How ya doin?” She asked as she headed to her locker and started to open it.
“Just fantastic. Absolutely superb,” I responded without picking my head up.
“Quit it with the pregame butterflies. You’ve been through this a thousand and seventeen times,” but she laughed as she said it, knowing there was no talking me out of being nervous.
***

Fifteen teammates, twenty shuttles, three rapid fires, four three v. twos and twelve warmup songs later, it was game time. I took my position as left midfield and looked straight ahead of me at Maria Hartung-Cane, the right attack. I shook my head once, trying to forget all of the hype around her. Then I looked quickly to my left, into the stands where I saw Tyler’s blonde head tilt back as he yelled my name. I smiled. That kid always knew just what to do.

The whistle blew and my mind was left empty. Instincts kicked in and I was off. Racing between people, shouting to my teammates, watching the game play out before me like a script. This was why I played. Then suddenly, Maria Hartung-Cane was flying at me. I channeled her down the side line and jabbed the ball away as she tried to pull by me. I got control of the ball and slapped it up to Brooke who took it farther up the field. Maria slammed into me as her momentum from the run carried her forward. I stumbled backward as I heard her growl, “Stay out of my way”. I brushed it off and moved on. I sprinted down the sideline as I heard Shannon yell, “Jess get me through!” I veered to the right as the ball met me at the twenty-five yard line. I wound up and drove it into the circle and Anna tried to tap it in from post but the goalie deflected it off of the end line and out of bounds.

A long hit in our favor sent Carrie to the sideline to bring the ball in. She dribbled around one Whitman girl and pushed it towards me. I ran towards it and I saw Maria barreling towards me out of my peripherals. I reached the ball first and went to poke it out in front of me so I could get a clear shot off when Maria was there in a flash, not slowing, not stopping, just stepping on my toes as I fell backwards. My ankle bent way too far and I felt a snap as I collapsed on the ground. The pain made my eyes tear up but I had to stand up, I had to play on. I tried to stand but as soon as I put pressure on my right ankle I felt nauseas and fell back to the ground. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as my coach rushed on the field and tried to ask if I was alright. My teammates’ concerned faces blurred together above me and it was as if I was hearing everything through a layer of glass. I felt two people pull me up by my arms and start to help me off the field. I cried out in pain as my ankle brushed the ground. I made it to the bench where the athletic trainer started pelting questions at me, one after the other about how it happened and how much it hurt. Then I heard my coach asking someone to call an ambulance and I feebly tried to wave her off, tell her I was going to play, trying to tell her I had to play. I stood up as if to prove to her I was fine and I should go back in but it was too much and my body shut down.

The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Tyler’s worried face above me, telling me I was going to do great. Leaving out the fact that my once white sock was now glistening red. Leaving out the fact that my ankle bone was sticking two inches out of my skin.
***

I opened my eyes and was blinded by the fluorescent white lights glaring off the pristine white walls. I blinked a few times, trying to let my eyes adjust and felt a soft pillow beneath my head and realized I was covered in a blanket – shockingly, it was white. I became aware of a dull throbbing in my right ankle. The memories came flooding back and all the nervous faces, all the panicked questions, all the noises and chaos flashed before my eyes. I got a sick feeling in my stomach as I remembered the fall and having to be carried off the field.

I turned my head a little to the left and saw a table and three chairs stacked high with colorful cards, balloons, candies and presents. I knew Tyler would mock me for this; I could almost hear his incredulous voice, Who but Jessica Langley would get presents because they fell down. He would laugh and shake his head, Only you, Jess. Only you. I smiled to myself imagining him carefully examining the contents of everything on the table, making sure none of his favorite candies were gifted to me, and if they were, quickly taking care of it.

I heard a click as the door handle moved but the door didn’t open, as if someone was trying to enter the room as silently as possible. I pushed myself into a seated position against the wall as the door cracked open a tiny bit and Tyler’s left eye peaked through. I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous antics and waited for him to realize I was awake. Once he did, I could see the corner of his eye crinkle upward, and I knew he was smiling that classic Tyler smile. He pushed the door open the rest of the way and put on a dead pan face as he asked in a British accent, “Anything milady would like for dinner?” and held one arm out as if he were balancing a silver tray, the other behind his back that was bent forward in a slight bow.

“Yeah, actually. A Wendy’s frosty would be fantastic.”

He rolled his eyes. “Is Wendy’s even open at four in the morning?”

“What?! Four? In the morning? Like before the sun comes up?”

“Yes, Jess. That is generally what ‘four in the morning’ means.”

“What day is it?” I asked hesitantly.

He pushed back his sleeve and checked his wrist where a watch would be were he wearing one. He squinted and leaned closer to his arm. “It looks like… December 18th, 2057. You’ve been snoozin’ quite a while, Sleeping Beauty.”

“Shut up,” I laughed. “Really what day is it though.”

“It’s October 13th. Jeez, it’s not like you went into a coma. It was just an early bedtime for wittle Jessie,” he chuckled to himself. I crossed my arms to tell him I was completely unamused but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. He won again.

“Fine but I seriously would like a Frosty,” I said. He rolled his eyes and gave me a scathing look that said, Princess. I gave him my most innocent smile and my biggest puppy dog eyes.

“I would, I would!” He put his hands up defensively. “But doctor says you’re not supposed to eat until twelve hours after the amputation.”

“Amputation?!” I howled. “How did you forget to mention amputation?!” I frantically yanked off the bed covers and clawed at my foot. I patted it securely three times before giving Tyler a stare that could have killed him. “Not. Funny.” I doubt he heard me though, because he was doubled over, enthralled with his absolute hilarity. I rolled my eyes a lot when I was with him. I did notice, however that my foot was wrapped in approximately six feet of plaster and Ace bandages. I groaned and bit my lip. I was too afraid to ask the question, so I just looked up at him. He looked at the ground and shuffled his feet once before looking at me. He took a breath and licked his lips, opening his mouth once and closing it again before he spoke.

“It was a, um, a compound fracture. They did the surgery while you were asleep. They said it would be better because you wouldn’t know it was happening, so you couldn’t stress. Apparently that raises blood levels which makes your heart pound faster so any open arteries, you know, go faster and makes surgery harder and everything just…,” he trailed off. I don’t think he took his eyes off the floor in the one gulp of air it took him to get this all out, but I couldn’t be sure. At the words “compound fracture” everything went blurry and my eyes misted over. He might have said more but I didn’t hear it. I shut my eyes to stop the tears from spilling over and I took a few deep breaths in hopes that my beating heart would slow down.

“Jess?” I barely caught the whisper. I opened my eyes and smiled the bravest smile I could manage.

“Oh I’m great. Just glad my ankle bone decided to stay with the rest of the crew,” as I said the last word, my smile faltered. I hugged one knee to my chest and looked sadly at the lump on the end of my other leg. I had to shut my eyes again before the tears came out. I felt my bed sag to one side and a familiar hand on my back, soothing and comforting. I took a shaky breath and one tear slipped out.

“You can’t be Superman all the time, Jess. Sometimes you have to let someone else be brave.” That’s when I lost it. One muffled sob escaped and then the tears wouldn’t stop. On and on it went, crying and sniffling onto Tyler’s shoulder. I finally calmed down enough to give a weak laugh and mumble, “I’m sorry to get your shirt all wet.” He smiled down at me.

“I never really liked the color anyway.” I was so thankful for Tyler. He was so supportive and so comforting all the time. He was here in the hospital with me at four in the morning on a Thursday night while I was sobbing into his shoulder.

“Thanks,” I said quietly.

“What for?” He exclaimed. “I’m the one who gets Jujyfruits out of this!” He looked pointedly at the table with hungry eyes. I spread my arm out in an open invitation towards the table and found myself rolling my eyes again. But I was laughing, too.
***

I was released from the hospital three days later, just in time to crutch myself around school bright and early Monday morning. By the end of the day, my left thigh felt like jello, my arms hurt every time I moved them, and I had hugged enough people and heard enough get-well-soon wishes you’d have thought I missed three years of school. All day long though, Tyler was next to me, carrying my books and delivering me safely to every class.
I had missed two practices after our 3-1 loss to Whitman, and I could not wait to get back to the field again. After eighth period, I hobbled to the elevator and patiently waited as it dinged three times before I made it to the basement. I started to rearrange my crutches as the doors slid open, but I didn’t get too far before Tyler’s built frame was helping me out.
“How on earth did you get down here so fast?” I glared at him.
“Well when you can use both feet it’s awfully useful,” he laughed. We made our way to the team room where I waved him off.
“You can’t even come in here so maybe go change for the soccer practice that starts in fifteen minutes?” I pushed him down the hall towards his team room. He nodded and smiled and waved goodbye as he walked away. I pulled open the door and hopped inside on one foot before it could close. I pulled open the next door with the same routine. I took two steps and leaned on the door to my right as I pulled the handle downwards and pushed my way inside.
A mass of people tugged me into their arms as everyone seemed to be shouting “Jess!” Most of the team was half dressed, getting ready for the practice that was coming but all had stopped their preparations to greet me. Eventually they all settled down and got changed even faster than usual, trying to beat the clock to 2:30 with the threat of “Late Laps” looming over them. I struggled to change while balancing on one foot, but with the eager help of my teammates, we managed. We all went out to the field together where Coach Dana turned to me and patted me on the back. “Glad to see you back,” she smiled.
While the rest of my team got to do shuttles and drills and scrimmages, I sat on the sidelines. I did whatever ab workouts and arm exercises I could, I did some stick skill work, but it wasn’t the same.
Day after day, the same routine. I got really good at changing and balancing. I could knock out a hundred bicycle crunches in under thirty seconds. My pulls were wicked fast and my lifts looked better than ever. I knew tricks with my crutches that I didn’t know were possible. I was given a coaches jacket and I got to stand next to Coach Dana and Coach Michelle during the games. I gave my teammates suggestions and invented new drills whenever I could. But every loss we suffered felt like my ankle was breaking all over again. Every disappointed look I watched cross my teammates’ face made me rather I felt the pain in my ankle instead.
I missed running. I missed the thrill of the game. I missed the rush I felt when the starting whistle blew. I missed being there for my teammates on the field. Most of all, I missed playing.
***

Six months later, the cast was off. Three weeks after that, and two weeks into spring practices, I had finished a grueling physical therapy with Dr. Darnkow.

I could not sit still all day. I practically skipped from class to class, and sprinted down the stairs to the team room.

“Jess!” Tyler’s voice rang down the hall and I skidded to a halt. He was running and came to a stop, panting. “Have fun at your first practice. I know you’ll do great.” He smiled and pulled me into a warm hug.

“Thanks, Tyler,” I smiled and pulled open the door.

“Go get ‘em.”

I opened up the third door and my senses were bombarded with colors and shouts and jumping teammates. “Welcome back, Jess!” shouted a room full of girls, mirroring the banner that covered the back wall of lockers. I was overwhelmed, and I couldn’t close my mouth. Carrie rushed to tell me that they had all left eighth period early to come decorate the team room and Anna informed me that it was all her idea while Shannon pulled me towards my locker that was covered in streamers and notes from every teammate.

My smile only grew as we took our warmup lap around the field and as we did shuttles. We started a scrimmage and jogged towards the ball. I couldn’t believe it. I was up and running again.
***

Many scrimmages, workouts, and team parties later, it was August 14th: tryouts. It felt weird to be a junior, but I was too excited to think about it too much. It was field hockey season. Three hour practices in the summer heat were tough, two-a-days were tougher, but none of that mattered to anyone. School rolled around, followed by many groans and tired eyes. The first day passed, then the first week. Then came our season opener. Against Whitman and their star senior, Maria Hartung-Cane.

Three hours before the game found me sitting on our bench, fully dressed in uniform, silently trying to decide if I was more worried, scared or stoked to play. I jumped at the sound of someone behind me.

“There you are. Should have figured.” I could hear the smile in his voice. Without turning to look at him I shook my head. “Ready to ‘Whip Whitman’?”

“Woah,” I spun around to look at him. “You’ve already used that one.”

“Yeah, I know. But I figured last time you weren’t given much of a chance. This time I know you will.” He shrugged. “I see you’re all ready to play the game that doesn’t start for a good three hours.”

I laughed. “But warmups start in two, you know.” He rolled his eyes.

“How’s your ankle holding up?” he asked. I stomped twice with my right foot and gave him a thumbs up.

“Better than ever,” I answered.

“Glad to hear it.” He stepped over the bench and sat down next to me. “I’ll be rooting for it to stay inside your body this time,” he said as he pointed over his shoulder towards the brightly lit stands. I couldn’t keep the smile up anymore, and it dropped from my face. He put his arm around my shoulders. “I promise you’ll do great. And I wouldn’t lie to you, would I?”

“Never in a million years,” I said quietly.
He gave me one last squeeze and said, “Now go on to the team room. I’m wasting your precious routine time.” I laughed as I stood up. “Bye, Jess.”
“Bye.” And I waved as I started to jog across the field.
***

Before I knew it, it was game time. I saw Carrie at center field ready to send the ball back to Shannon once the whistle blew. I looked ahead of me and felt a little pang of sadness when the gold number seven didn’t stare back. Anna had graduated last year, accepted into Bowdoin, her top choice for college. Instead I saw Katie’s back, but I looked past her and right at Maria Hartung-Cane. One glance to my left told me Tyler was sitting front row as usual. Then the whistle blew, and we were off. Running, shouting, dribbling. Everything was a blur of motion. A back pass from Katie landed the ball at the top of the circle and I raced towards it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maria hurtling towards me and time stopped.
I hesitated for a millisecond, a flash back to eleven months ago burned into my eyes. I blinked once and surged forward, determined to reach the ball first. I popped it back towards me, catching it on my reverse stick, planting my right foot and pushing off of it with all of my weight without even a twang of pain. I pulled the ball back towards me just in time for Maria to fly past me. I had a clear open shot and I drove the ball with all my might.
Thwack! I knew that sound. It was the sound of a hard shot hitting the backboard of the goal. Past the defenders, past the goalie, past Maria Hartung-Cane, the small yellow ball had found the back of the goal. My teammates mobbed me. It was amazing.
I jogged back to my starting position and took my stance. Only one thought was running through my mind. I had scored. I had prevailed.
I was back.