Maybe if I was a better kid my life wouldn’t be this way. Maybe if I would have told him I loved him more often, or how much I idolized him. All this could have been prevented, my life could still be sort of normal. I just want to take it all back. There is so much I didn’t get to tell him.
It’s all my fault, and the worst part of it all is that I can’t change it.
It all started when I came home from school late one day. It was about half past 8 and it was pitch black outside. Normally I’m supposed to be home by the time the street lights come on but this guy Kaleb convinced me to go with him to his house after school. I was trying my hardest to walk quietly through the kitchen so my dad wouldn’t hear me and yell at me for being late. Unfortunately, just before I reached the stairs my dad came walking through the kitchen and I already knew what was coming.
“Where have you been Sam? I’ve been calling you for hours! I was worried sick about you.” He screamed at me.
“I – I’m sorry Dad, I was uh… at school with Kelsey finishing up a math assignment. It took a long time, I’m sorry.”
I knew he could tell I was lying but I went with it anyways. If my dad found out I was out with a boy this late I would be grounded for sure.
“Oh yeah? You were at school until 8:30 at night? Is that so…”
He sounded sarcastic and that scared me. I didn’t want to get in trouble. I’m 13 years old and I just wanted him to give me a little freedom. He sat there looking at me for a while, I knew he was waiting for me to tell him where I really was. It made me so mad that he didn’t believe me, even though I lied I still wanted him to just trust that what I was saying was true. When I didn’t say anything he started to get angry.
“I know that’s not where you were Sam. Tell me right now where you were at.” He sounded infuriated.
“I told you I was at school! Why don’t you believe me?”
“Who the hell were you with Samantha!” He started to raise his voice.
“I was f#@$%!* with Kaleb okay! I knew you would say no so I didn’t want to ask.”
“You did what….” His voice was calm now, and that was a lot worse than his screaming.
“I’m sorry it won’t happen again.”
“You’re grounded. Go to your room, I’m going to go talk to this boy.”
He quickly put his shoes and a coat on and rushed towards the front door. I followed him screaming. I begged him not to leave. I pleaded for him not to go talk to Kaleb and embarrass me. But he was so mad, and he ignored my cries. I called him over and over again. I left voicemails begging him not to talk to Kaleb and to come back home. He never answered.
Around 10, I started to get worried because there is no way it would take him that long to talk to Kaleb. I called him again and this time it went straight to voicemail.
He’s mad at me, awesome. I’m probably going to be grounded for the rest of my life.
That’s what I was worried about. The biggest thing on my mind was how my dad probably had just ran off the first boy I ever liked or how I was going to be grounded. Looking back on it all, I can’t believe I was so selfish.
My phone rang at about 11. I quickly answered the phone thinking it would be my dad calling me back. I was confused when I didn’t hear his voice on the other end of the line.
“Hello..” I hesitated to say.
“Samantha?” the woman said.
“Yeah.. this is her.”
“My name is Tracey, I work at Red Vine Medical Center. I’m calling regarding Paul Smith, he is your dad right?”
“Yes, is he alright? What happened?” I said worried.
“He has been in a car accident.”
“what? How? Is he alright?”
My thoughts were all over the place. I couldn’t think straight. i just wanted to hear that he was okay.
How could this be happening to me.
“he will be okay Samantha. Your dad is in good hands. An officer is on his way to pick you up.”
The woman hung up the phone. I sat there in the livingroom still in shock from what I had just been told.
She didn’t say if he was okay.. she didn’t tell me what happened. What if he isn’t okay. what am I going to do?
I couldn’t get my thoughts together. About 10 minutes later an officer showed up at my door. He introduced himself as Officer Randal. He was tall and had greyish brown hair. He wore his emotions on his on his face and I could see that he knew something was wrong. We got into the car, the drive to the hospital where my dad was at took about 20 minutes. The officer didn’t talk to me the whole ride, which made me even more nervous. I ran out of the car as soon as the officer pulled up to the hospital. I ran as fast as I could into the building. By the time I got to the front desk, I was sobbing and out of breath. Once I caught my breath, the lady asked me who I was looking for.
“my dad, im looking for my dad. He was in an accident. He is here. Where is he?” I was talking so fast, the lady could hardly understand me. I couldn’t help it, I was so worried.
“slow down sweetie. Whats your dads name?” the lady was talking to me in such a calm voice.
“Paul. His name is Paul Smith. Is he okay?” my word came out more clear this time.
She told me to follow her. We walked through the double doors behind the desk which lead down a dimly lit hallway.
“your dad is in room 204, the last door on your right” the nurse said to me.
I walked down the hallway, my mind was still racing. I was so scared to see him, I just didn’t want him to be hurt badly. As I got closer to his room, I saw the doctors outside his room. I stopped to listen to what they were saying.
“he was looking at his phone when the car hydroplaned off the cliff ” one of the doctors said.
My heart sank.
Its all my fault…