Have you ever been so lost, not even a compass could find you? Have you ever felt so broken, even the strongest glue couldn’t fix you?
You stand there with a brave face, but the knife in your hand and the scar on your arm tells otherwise. Tears swell in your eyes as your stomach churns at the sight of the blood being washed down the drain.
Defeated you feel as you wipe the blade clean, defeated is all you ever felt.
Beauty and happiness are felt from within by they have been pushed so far down from the surface you believe you will never see them again. You force a smile on your face as you dry your hands and roll down your sleeves.
Hidden your new scar will stay along with your emotions.
Darling, you can do now wrong, for I love you for who you are. Your imperfections are perfection and nothing will change that. Let me be your anchor, let me be your rock. Share your burden with me for I want to help carry your load.
As you close the door behind you, you think you’ll be alright. For this was just a onetime thing right? But sadly again in a few nights you’re back in the same spot.
Another scar has a story to tell. A story of desperation and loss of control. Pain and sorrow flow now through your veins day after day, while you wonder when it will all end.
Darling, let me in for I am knocking. Let me come and hold you. I see the monster hidden within you and I was to try to scare it away. For in the end, Love conquers all.
Weeks go by as more scars begin to show. Soon you’re wearing baggy shirts and pants, trying to hide from yourself. For you are your biggest fear. Next, your hair is chopped along with your patience. You start to make a plan and number the days until it’s over, and the ultimate freedom can be obtained forever.
You begin to write notes to your few loved ones and hope they will understand. You’ll be in a better place now, nothing can hurt you there. You thank them for everything and sign your name at the bottom with two small x’s. Relief rushes through you as you know you’re one step closer to what you call happiness.
Darling, stop not, this isn’t how life should be. I am here reaching for your hand, don’t pull it away. Please don’t surrender, waving that little white flag means nothing if you didn’t fight before.
The time has come as you grab a handful of pills. Taking the time to line every little on out on the counter, making it look like a countdown to joy. You pick up the first one with shaky hands and place it in your mouth. Taking a swig of water, you feel the liberation slide down your throat. You begin to take the others with haste, each one making you feel more and more at ease. Finally, you reach the last one and greet it with a smile. With one last goodbye you place it in your mouth, swallowing it dry. All there is left to do is sit and wait.
Darling, no please don’t. I wish there was a way to make you forget. I’d invent it if I could. You were meant to see all the beauties within the world, don’t give up now. Our struggles don’t define us; it’s how we react that does. You are my shining star, my one hit wonder. Stay here please and show your face. For my love for you has never faded, nor will it ever.
I burst into your bathroom only to find you lying cold on the floor. I wrap my arms around you and hold your lifeless body tightly in my arms as I weep for you. I shed all the worried tears you were not able to. I cry out from all the pain. I curse the creator and wonder why they were not here for you…
But it is impossible to do so, for I was there for you. You just didn’t let me in.