It started out like any morning with my usual breakfast- cereal and toast. However it wasn’t just any other day. Today was my last chance to qualify for state in the 1 mile. My times were decent for myself but never did I push myself hard enough or long enough to obtain my goal of accomplishment. Faith and belief are the mental key points in reaching my goals. Next was simply the physical race itself. Glacier traveled out of town to Helena, the state capital, for track divisional 20213. It was Saturday morning, May 18th. I woke up that morning with a different attitude about my race. I was confident, and set real goals; like for instance I wanted to go to state and qualify from either time or place. And get a chance to continue my season for just one more week. I felt sick, nervous maybe. That nauseous, repulsive feeling is appealing to me; the sense of being sick to my stomach meant I was ready to walk onto that track with confidence and race.

Leaving the hotel room and returning to the red track, I refocused to the goal I had in mind. Looking around and seeing my competition gave me adrenaline. Just last night I had raced the same girls in the 3200, and we meet again to compete in a shorter, more exhilarating event. With over 400 miles in my training, a decently well season and a hard week I felt courage and was ready to face that mile. After a long day of relaxing, jogging, watching other races and a sweaty warm up, I walked to the starting line. Feeling nervous inside, I encouraged my teammate and the other girls around me to race well.
My ears rang from the gun shot, and the race began. Beside me were other girls from the western part of the state. Before the race even began I was out of breath, and I thought to myself, “Run your heart out… that’s all it takes.” Every first lap seems to be too fast. I remember surging and not wanting to get out of place even before the real part of the race progressed. The second lap is when I remembered I still had 3 more laps to go. Feeling anxious to go quicker and stay with the best gave me more energy than I have experienced before. Half way through the second lap I realized, my pace is very quick but I feel great. I looked ahead of myself and saw my place. I was in 6th. Why stay there? Why not pass the next girl and run faster? Thoughts like these rushed through my head. I was half way done with the race. “Only two laps to go...” I thought. As I ran in circles I felt people from every direction encouraging me to run quicker. My coach is yelling “Go Champion! You’re almost there..!! You gotta WANT it.” More than anything in the world I wanted was to walk off the track and feel proud and happy with my result, no longer living with regrets. I didn’t want to go home thinking, “I could have run faster… Why didn’t you run faster?” So I did it.. I passed the girl from Big Sky and we were racing. That burning sensation is what I love the most. When you’re feeling pain, then you know you’re doing it right. The lack of breath in my lungs makes me feel alive. Running for a few years now, you always know when someone is coming up from behind you, and almost every time you know who it is. My best friend, who had run faster than me all season, was on my tail. She was coming for me, and by the third lap was almost finished we were all three neck to neck. On the fourth lap someone gave up. Big Sky fell behind and trailed us. It went Corinne, me and then Big Sky. In that order I had fallen back in 6th place, and that was risky. The top six competitors in any divisional race go to state.
You never know when you get your second wind or the kick comes back. There was just about 200 meters left in the race, our pace hadn’t changed and were still going strong. My stride was fully opened, and I felt a bit of energy rush through me. I passed Corinne and never had that happened before… it was exhilarating, the thought of beating Corinne was so exciting…!! However, my legs were burning out and I was beginning to weaken just at 100 meters to go. Looking down that straight away all that comes to mind is “Just hold on… you’re so close, don’t give up now. Keep going. You got it, hang in there...” I was beginning to lose it every step I took. The three of us hung together the whole race. Feeling the wind on my face, my legs going numb and cramps in my stomach, I began to slow down... The girl from big Sky came after me and didn’t give up. The three of us once again were aggressively pushing our way to the end of the race. The finish line was just ahead of me, but I couldn’t hang in any longer. I was sprinting down the lane and at less than 50 meters away, feeling so much pain, my legs stumbled and I broke my stride, I tripped but didn’t fall. Corinne and Big sky caught me…
As I crossed the finish line right behind the two others, I received 7th place. That moment they passed me, I gave up and thought to myself, “Just maybe my time made it…” That race allowed me to experience the most unbearable pain in my life. My legs were unable to keep me up and I just about fell over. Katie was there at the end of the finish line, to comfort and hold me. Looking over at the time clock it flashed 5:29. The qualifying time for state happens to be 5:28. As I stood there in distress, out of breath, and worried Troy came over and told me my official time. I received the news and tears rolled down my face. The difference I was required to run for state was nothing at all. I raced a 5:28.1 mile; missed it by tenth of a second. I was so angry with myself and I thought of all the things I did wrong. But at the end of the day I realized I learned the true meaning of a race. Never in my life have I competed before… I have been in races of course, but never did I give my full potential and ability to succeed. I wanted it so bad, yet I failed. At the same time, I achieved the greatest gifts of all; I walked away that day knowing I gave it my all with every ounce left of effort and strength that I had left in me, and I raced. Some people think running may be weird and miserable, but for some reason it’s the greatest feeling in life. Putting myself in the pain that I do, makes me feel alive and I love it.
“To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift.” -Steve Prefontaine.