The Hill


The bell rings, and I jump up and almost knock my desk over. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I yell at myself inside my head. After that incident, I walk slowly out of class and down the hall, making sure not to hit anything over. And that’s when I see him, Alec Sherwin, running his hands through his hair and looking at the clock. I stumble towards him, wanting to run but restraining myself to a fast walk.

When I reach him, I have a speech planned, but all that comes out is, “Wherearewegoingtolunch?” I'm serious; I can’t even speak around him. I don't even know him, and I can’t even speak around him.

But he doesn’t seem taken aback. He seems delighted that I don't know how to talk. And then he asks me in a hushed voice, “Do you want to see something magical, Cecily Waters?”

My eyebrows shoot up. I say in a straggly high-pitched voice, that indeed I would.

We walk. It’s quiet but not awkward like you would think. Somehow I feel close to normal walking next to him. I never feel normal. And I get stared at more when I'm next to Alec. I get noticed.

After fifteen minutes of walking, I find myself at the top of the grassy hill near the river. Alec lies down in the grass like it’s the most natural thing to do, so I do the same. As I lay down Alec tells me to close my eyes and feel the warm sun shine on my face. I do it. I lay with my eyes closed and the sun boring into my skin, and I drift off.

I wake up. I’m not in the grass; Alec Sherwin is not next to me. I am laying face down on my desk, still in 2nd period. And I think I have been drooling. Gross.

It was a dream, nothing like that would really happen. I don't get noticed, I stay on the fringe. And that’s the thing about being me. I do not have my dreams come true; I do not have boys asking me to lunch.

It’s a constant struggle waking up, primping, and picking out a perfect outfit to get me through the day unnoticed. You see, the judging is what you want to avoid. If you make yourself close to perfect, then you may miss out on the hurtful stares of dislike, all because you don’t have the “right” look. But nobody is perfect, so it’s an on going struggle.

My name is Cece Waters. My real name is Cecily. But come on, nobody wants that name. School is okay for me. I have two best friends, Holly Steel and Clementine Louw. I guess I'm pretty, at least pretty enough. I have long brown hair and large green eyes, and I am about as small as a 13-year-old girl. But the smallness isn’t the problem; my problem is I have pale skin—the palest skin you will ever see. It’s almost as if I'm translucent. Nobody notices me, or my friends. We like to call our self’s wallflowers, just like the book, The Perks of being a Wall Flower.

Some people’s goal is to become popular, or looked up to or whatever. But what I think is that the best thing to do is just stay on the fringe…to be part of things, but never in the middle. And because of that, my friends and I get to see everyone without the illusion of perfection. The truth is, people are mean.

There’s this boy, well there’s always a boy. His name is Alec Sherwin. He’s new. And of course he hasn’t noticed me, but I notice him. He isn’t a jock, or a pothead, or a drama kid, or obsessed with the arts; he is an outsider, like me. Also he is kind of gorgeous. He looks like a young Ian Somerhalder.

I'm walking down to my third period class thinking of Alec Sherwin, and Ian Somerhalder’s blue eyes. And suddenly I bump into someone about a foot taller than me. I fight back a scream. It’s Jack Much; he is 6’2 and giant. He has scared the living hell out of me since 8th grade… and he just keeps growing. He kind of just stares at me, then walks away; I let out a long sigh. I bet I was looking at him like I thought he was going to eat me. How awkward.

That’s when I spot my friends Holly, and Clementine. A huge smile spreads across my face. “DUDES!” I call. Everyone stares at me, I smile back I'm going to be a positive butterfly today, I think sarcastically.

When I reach Holly and Clementine I tell them about the dream. “I know its stupid, but I seriously thought I was on that grassy hill with him,” I say quietly as the mass of people swarm around us.

“Come on Cece, you don't even know the guy, he could be a murderer for all you know,” Holly says in her nasally voice.

“I know, I know.” I say and let the subject drop. I didn’t want to hear Holly go on about how Alec Sherwin and I are a fantasy not a reality, blah, blah, blah.

I love Holly but she is really good at making you feel like a five year old being scolded by your mom. When Holly’s older, I'm guessing she is going to have like 50 kids and they’re all going to turn out perfect. Clementine is standing next to me with her headphones plugged in and her hand tapping the beat to whatever song across her leg. Clementine is probably my favorite person in the world. She is constantly quoting books; she is the one who likes to call us “wallflowers”. I kind of love that name.

I just notice that Holly is still talking to me. I stare at Holly’s face but ignore the words. She gets to be a little too much at times. With an air of annoyance, I decide over the hum of passing people and the lectures from Holly, that I am going to go to the grassy hill, the one from my dream. I smile at Clementine and Holly, kiss them both on the cheek, and make my way to the exit, fast.

I start running when I make my way out of the school and towards the grassy hills by the river. My side starts to ache but I keep running increasing my speed and then I'm there. Standing on the green grass from the hill. The sun beaming down on me, I lay down with a plop. I close my eyes and wait for the next dream to come.

I feel a brush on my arm and my eyes fly open. “Oh Cecily, you know its bad to skip school.” Says a figure with dark hair blue eyes, and a low smoldering voice. Alec Sherwin. My voice catches and I do not know if it is a dream or a reality. I stay very still and whisper, “I'm a rebel.”