Should Have Known | Teen Ink

Should Have Known

July 31, 2014
By JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction is the lie that tells the truth."

Knowledge eludes me. She hates me. I love her. I want knowledge but she doesn't want me. I have a crush on her. I want more of her but I can't keep her all to myself. So many other men also want her just to use her. Shame on man for abusing her like that. And for what, so they could be better. She is power. All men want more power. Men long to be the strongest. Men want to keep her in their little prisons. Men want her but they can't have all of her. Men can't handle all of her. Men go to special places to get some of her. Other parts of her are censored. To little of her is a bad thing. To much of her is a bad thing. She knows our limits but men always beg for more. I love her. I hate her. I wanted her. I wanted all of her, but I can't have all of her. I should have known.

The author's comments:
Personifying knowledge. This is my opinion on how society discreetly views knowledge.That is why I compared it to a woman.

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This article has 5 comments.

on Aug. 17 2014 at 9:23 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

Great idea! Though, you could work on your grammar a little bit, like where 'to' should have been 'too'. Also, I enjoyed how your sentences were short throughout all of the story, giving it a sense of style.

pprudhon GOLD said...
on Aug. 17 2014 at 7:58 pm
pprudhon GOLD, San Jose, California
10 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
-JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

It was great!  I really do like the way you personified knowledge, but I have to agree with readaholic and Longlegs about the choppy sentences.  You may want to try combining them or adding a few filler words to make them flow better.  Last but not least, when writing rhetorical questions (such as "And for what...") you need to have the question marks at the end, even if you are going to answer the question.  Keep writing :)

on Aug. 15 2014 at 4:37 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 425 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

I agree with longlegs about the choppy sentences, perhaps try combining some of them?  I also feel like you overused the word 'men', but I can see how that could be hard to avoid.  I really like the metaphor here, but I feel like it would be more powerful if you saved the fact that "she" is Knowledge until the end, but that's just my opinion.

Longlegs GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2014 at 12:54 pm
Longlegs GOLD, Greeneville, Tennessee
16 articles 0 photos 84 comments
You used a metaphor to teach an important message. Way to go! My only suggestion would be to mix up the sentence variety a little. The short, choppy sentences can get boring to the reader. Keep writing!

EttieGH GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2014 at 3:07 am
EttieGH GOLD, Mbabane, Other
15 articles 2 photos 46 comments
I got your comparison. That was a really good piece, i love the way you didn't go overboard with the length of the story as most people do when it comes to writing about aspects of society.