One for the Ages | Teen Ink

One for the Ages

November 20, 2014
By Anonymous

One for the Ages
Boy I sure hope that everybody out there got to see that game last night. It was the most unpredictable, ill-statistical, craziest game of all time; you never knew what was going to happen! This game between the Celtics and the Lakers will go down as one of the greatest games in history. It doesn’t help that this game featured the greatest rivalry in basketball history, so all of the games played between these two is the greatest game in history. But, this one was different… I swear to it, and I’ll prove it.
It all started with the starting line-ups (before the game even started). Kobe Bryant wasn’t listed in the starting line up! How crazy is that?! He’s only missed 85 out of the past 92 games due to injury. But as fans we all expect a lot more out of the so-called “Black Mamba”. Even then the 0-8 Lakers seemed ready to put up a fight and win their first game, and as the league’s best teams coach (Brad Stevens of the C’s) would say, “Good luck.”  The Celtics were ready to cruise to an easy victory in Boston last night.
Yet, things are never that simple between these two historic franchises. The first quarter Carlos Boozer of the Lakers put up seven points. That’s two points more than his usual average! Quite a start for Boozer. And luckily for the Lakers, Rajon Rondo of the Celtic’s had an off first quarter. He usually averages 3.8 assist in the first, but tonight only dished out 2. Jeeze would the Celtic’s just trade this guy already?! After the first period the Celtics had an enormous hill to climb as they were down by a score of 23-19.
After that insane first it’d hard to imagine any more mind-blowingness to happen in this game. Just like a meteorologist: I was wrong. In the third an unexpected star rose for the Celtics. It was the bench player Evan Turner. He had himself a career night putting up 17 points in the third quarter alone. His season average is only 12.8PPG (he ended the game with 29 points total). It seems the Celtics have found their missing puzzle for this season. Evan Turner just needs to produce like this every game. Is that too much to ask for? After all somebody needs to step up once Rondo is traded. Or, should we look toward rookie Marcus Smart? He also had five dimes in the 3rd quarter, 6 points, and four rebounds. That’s his greatest quarter this entire season. I believe that those numbers have potential to replace the best point-guard in the league.
After the explosive third quarter the Celtics were able to handle the Lakers in the fourth as well. Even behind Randle’s 9 points and Lin’s 7 points. The final score was 101-95 Celtics. The best team in the league (C’s) just beat the worst team (Lakers) by six points! Wow that final score seems like quite the close game. Put this one in your books folks, record it on your DVR, whatever you do, don’t forget this game.  How does it get any better? That’s right… Post game interviews.
After the game I caught up with Avery Bradley of the Celtics. I asked him how it felt to beat the worst team in the league by an astonishing six points. Bradley responded by stating, “We executed good enough to win, that’s all that matters. We won so we obviously don’t need much practice.” I couldn’t put it better myself. Bradley also added in, “Rondo barely contributed at all either, we’re fine without our leader and star player.” I’ve been trying to say that the whole time, it’s time to let Rondo go. I also talked to Lakers injured point guard Steve Nash. How bad do you want to be on the court? I asked, which Nash replied with, “We wouldn’t be 0-9 if I was playing. This team is awful and will be awful until I get back on the court.” Not much love for his teammates, but Nash must have a point. The only way to see if he’s right is to await his return I guess. Would they be 1-8 or 3-6 if he had been healthy? No matter, for now the Lakers are at the bottom of the leagues rankings, and look to stay there for quite a while.
Remember everybody this game was one hell of a classic. 101-95, the best versus the worst, and it was exactly what all of us expected.
 


The author's comments:

This is a creative fictional article on a basketball game. It uses satire to make fun of the genre of sports articles. It uses statistics to exagerate how seriously small things are taken in sports. 


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