Love me, Hate me | Teen Ink

Love me, Hate me

December 9, 2014
By just_another_girl BRONZE, Helsinki, Other
just_another_girl BRONZE, Helsinki, Other
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

“TWINKLE! TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!” Greg belted out. A few moments earlier he had managed to get the entire boat to sing, but now it was him and his terribly off pitch voice.
We burst out laughing.
Actually, we had been laughing for the entire time. At first, I assumed someone drugging the air caused the laughter, but when I remembered the fact we were in open water, I considered the possibility of funny friends being the cause.
“Happy Birthday to you!” Greg belted out yet again, starting his fifth song of happy birthday.
Someone threw a marshmallow straight at him, and I was surprised it didn’t choke him, but also glad that he stopped singing.
It was Greg’s girlfriend’s birthday. She had a summer birthday, so her parties were always low key, which I liked. Although, I did feel sad for her sometimes; it must have been difficult to have a summer birthday, with all of her friend on vacation.
Helen, Greg’s girlfriend, stood up, astounded. “Come on! Women’s suffrage is a much funnier guilty pleasure for Batman, not a bop it.”
A couple of her friends sat her down, ensuring her she was right.
“Helen, women’s suffrage as a guilty pleasure? That is wrong on so many levels.” Darren said.
They were playing Cards Against Humanity, which was rather entertaining to watch. The goal was to pair the funniest cards, and I had to admit, some of them were utterly hilarious. Despite enjoying the game, I didn’t play. I usually had witty jokes, which very few people got.
Caspar nodded his head. “I think we should as our little Angel over there. She knows what’s funny.”
Everyone looked straight at me, excepting an answer. I sat, frozen, unsure of what I was being asked. “My name is Angelica, not Angel.” I said, which was probably the last thing anyone was asking.
It wasn’t like Caspar didn’t know what my name was, or that I wasn’t vain enough to be nicknamed “Angel.” He just knew it made me flustered, and he liked how I corrected him each time.
Caspar knew me long, and well, enough to know exactly pushed my buttons. He knew me so in fact that we got into numerous fights. We had always been an all or nothing. One moment we spoke like best friends, and the next we wouldn’t speak to each other for months, which was surprising since we weren’t 11 anymore.
“I’ll go find out what Angel is up to.” Caspar said, laying his cards on the table.
“If you do that you have to forfeit.”
“Fine. Game’s all yours Helen. If you don’t win, I’ve taught you nothing.”
Whilst sitting down, he bumped into me slightly, making the chip in my hand go flying. Only after noticing my stubborn gale did he apologize.
“Where’s your halo, Angel?” He asked innocently. I glared at him, again.
“Say that one more time and I’m throwing you off this boat.” My tone came out more like a bitchy queen bee in that moment than I had intended.
Nowadays, Caspar and I were on the “not speaking” part of the spectrum, which wasn’t my fault. He decided to brutally turn down my best friend’s offer to go to prom, telling her he was already going with someone else, but then not taking anyone. Basically, he turned her down without having the guts to not lie about it.
“Angelica, don’t be like that.” He said, defeated.
“Don’t be like what? Would you rather I tell that there’s someone already sitting there, but you can’t see them?”
I looked around, afraid someone over heard, but the other’s were either uninterested, or too invested in their game. Either way, it didn’t bother me.
“That’s not fair!” He lifted his hands in the air, trying to get me to understand his point of view.
“Tell that to Kriss.” I spat out. Kriss was on vacation, leaving me at the party without her. If she were here, she would rather jump off the boat than talk to Caspar, which sounded tempting. “You told her you were going with someone else, and you didn’t. She’s a big girl, Caspar. You didn’t need to lie to her.”
“I didn’t lie!”
“Yeah, then why didn’t I see you with anybody?”
“Can you just listen to me?” He asked. Instead of answering, I shrugged my shoulders and shut up, realizing I had constantly been interrupting him. “I didn’t tell her I was going with somebody. I told her there was someone else I wanted to ask, and there was. It just turned out that after the incident, she would have said no, so I didn’t bother asking her.”
When I looked at him, I saw a hint of regret in his eyes. She must have been someone special, which I guessed made sense, since he didn’t just ask another girl out. I wanted to ask her name, but it seemed like it pained him enough to just talk about her.
I put my arms around him, ensuring that I understood. “It’s okay Caspar. There are other fish in the sea.”
Suddenly, his attitude changed, and he sprung up. “Speaking of fish, would you like to go fishing with me, now?”
I looked at him quizzically, trying to find the fishing pole on the boat, until I realized there wasn’t one. “I think we need equipment to fish, worms, pole, you know that stuff?”
“I don’t need that. Those are for amateurs. I can catch a fish with my bare hands!”
“Bullshit.” I called it. ‘There was no way he could do that’, I thought.
Just like that, our relationship took a 180 turn, and we were back to being friends. It was strange how we changed so quickly, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Yeah, you’re probably right, but can we swim anyway?”
I laughed, and then nodded. We went to the back of the boat, where the motor had stopped running and the ladder was put out.
Caspar took my head, telling me to jump with him. “One.”
As I turned my head slightly, I saw his face. Something was different. His brown hair was being softly pushed by the wind, and his eyes were illuminated by the starlight. He was the same, yet completely different. “Stop!” He looked at me, and I finally realized something, “I think I’ve been in love with you since I was 10.”
With those words, I jumped. Cold water hit my body, as I fell deeper and deeper in the sea.
I didn’t say the words for him. I said them for me, because I needed to finally admit it to myself, and to him.


The author's comments:

Angelica is a slightly stubborn high school girl, who just can't help but sound a little nasty when she says certain things.


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