After | Teen Ink

After

January 13, 2015
By Anonymous

She was falling, falling into an abyss of nothingness….


Drowsily she opened one eye, then the other. She blinked. And it all came rushing back. Fleeting memories of a car crash, the sickening thud as her body slammed into the windshield, the piercing brightness accompanied by foggy voices, the wail of parents who had just lost their only child. Gasping, her mind overwhelmed with the enormity of it all, she passed out again and let silence take her once more. When she woke the second time, she braced herself for the impact of memories she knew would coming. But this time, they didn’t come.


A sliver of light crept in through the darkness and she focused on it. She was fully awake now, fully aware of everything that had happened, yet she was filled with a sense of freedom. Her fate did not bother her at all, she had already made peace with that. But what of her parents, her friends, the many people she had met throughout her life? Looking behind her, the world as she knew it emerged from the murky depths and she was drawn to it. She knew she could never be a part of it anymore, but she could watch. 


A tear trailed down her mother's face, twinkling a bit before plummeting to the earth piling on her coffin. Her father stood next to her, gently stroking her shoulder and comforting her through his own pain. She noticed how tired they looked; sleepless nights wondering why any of this had happened. Although she had not been particularly popular and had only a few close friends, there was a great many people who had showed up to pay their respects. Drifting away from her own coffin, she spotted the boy she secretly wished would ask her out. He appeared drained of all emotion, so different from his usually effervescent demeanor. Naturally gravitating towards him, she saw a letter in his hand:


I wish I had been more courageous and asked you before it was too late. I just was never sure what would happen, but now I realize how quickly that chance can be taken away forever. I loved you. I loved the way you tucked your hair behind your ears when you were nervous, I loved the way you were captivated by all stories, I loved the way you shared your compassion and….


She couldn’t bear to read anymore. Choking up, her chest clenched as she thought of all the opportunities she had to find out that he felt the same way about her. She needed to get away, to go somewhere not filled with heavy silence and desolation. The world below her rippled and another scene appeared….


A woman was sitting in an empty room, knees up against her face, sobbing inconsolably. A man, presumably her husband, entered quietly and sat on the chair opposite her. She watched as the woman looked up. The man handed her a tissue and her crying slowed to a trickle of water dripping onto her orange jumper. The woman and man talked for a little bit before the woman got down on her knees and seemed to plead for mercy. Sighing, the man pulled out a sheath of papers and a pen.  Sobbing once more, the woman reluctantly took the pen and signed the papers, shaking her head no the entire time. Just as quietly as he had entered, the man left. Closing her eyes, the woman looked defeated and empty. The world started to spin, morphing into the day of the accident….


She had missed the bus and was speed-walking along the side of the road. Luckily for her, she lived within walking distance of her school but she would still be late if she didn’t hurry up. Breaking into a light run, her backpack bounced up and down and she berated herself for not setting her alarm clock. Up ahead she could see the intersection that lead into her school. Barely glancing left and right she starting sprinting across the street, focused on getting to school on time. She was almost across when out of nowhere came a small yellow Camry. The woman inside was trying to get to work on time, sending a quick text to her husband, when suddenly she looked up and stepped on the brakes as hard as she could. The thick scent of burning rubber and screeching of the tires grating against the rough pavement alerted the girl to the inevitable impact. The woman inside screamed and made eye contact with the girl right before her body was slammed into the windshield.


Blood and guts were spattered all over and the contents of her backpack were now strewn throughout the road. Excruciating pain radiated from her entire body rendering her motionless. Moaning a little, she heard a car door slam and a woman ran out asking her if she was all right in a panicked voice. A little while later an ambulance pulled up blaring its siren. It was hard for her to stay awake now….


At last she pulled out of her visions. It was time to face reality now. Turning around to the sliver of light she saw the second time she woke, she made her ultimate decision of leaving the wretched world behind. Finally tired of everything, she could continue on her journey with the knowledge that it would do no good for her to remain any longer.

 



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