Life In It’s Own Ways

Its My life  In my own words. Life will throw you curve balls, and you try even harder to hit them. you may have your downs but  In the end of the day something good happen and you and you will just be thinking about the ups and not about any downs. At the end of the day just stop and think  It doesn't matter what happens or what people think you know who you are. God put you on this earth for a reason. you might not of found out why but you will soon give  It time.
My life  Isn't as hard as a lot of peoples but  I don't have them give me what  I want  In life either.  I used to;  I lived with my mom about two  years ago and  I tell you what she was the world's greatest  mom for about fourteen years. she was sweet ,  I got what  I wanted.
when  I was about ten she married this guy who was  In the national guard. he was my step dad he showed love for about two years. the  It went down hill like a roller coaster. I hate him! treated me and my siblings like s***. he would say rude comments to all of us. My mom would get yelled at all the time for no reason just say he had a bad day at work he took  It out at her. She stayed with him because she said she wanted us to have a nice place like she never had. She always went back.He would come back saying he would change. That would last let's say a week we would go to church and like we used to. but everything came to an end like always.
My mom stayed with him for about two more years after all this kept going on. Getting bad grades  In school. I called  my dad, asked him to come get me. My dad picked me up, and  I stayed at his house for a couple weeks. My mom finally left! I moved back  In with my mom. We were finally happy. We didn’t really have anything,  but we had each other.
My life sorta seemed real.  I wasn’t getting talked down on.  I was happy although we were struggling. I was living the life  I wanted to live. Then after about two months she started getting boyfriends plural not boyfriend. She was never home, we had to take care of ourselves.  I understand when you need love or you want a story to tell. When you have kids we are your love your story the best one out there. You will never get hurt by us we will always be there for you  In the end.
My mom and  I started fighting after that a lot because  I tried to tell her what she's doing  Is wrong. She didn't care what  I said. So we  would always fight.  I was tired of taking care of my brother not saying  I didn't mind  It because he's my brother but all  she wanted was to have fun. Parting,  It hurts  when your own mom turns away on you.
look at her and though  I was young once and wanted something  I couldn't have. But when she started not caring  I took a deep breath realized  It was time to grow up. She wouldn't listen to me when  I told her something her own daughter ask yourself how would that make you feel.  I didn't need that life.  I called my dad my king you could say he always there for me. he said “hey” doodlebug what you need at this time  In the night? Can you come get me  Im done trying with her “i said”. Dad said “sure thing  I'll be there  In about 20 mins be ready.   In that 20 mins  I threw all my stuff in a couple big  black bags. He got there  I said bye Bub bye sis love you guys.
I felt relief when  I stepped out that door.  I didn't talk to my mom for about a year and half. She got another boyfriend and lives  In Kansas now.  It's been about 7 months since  I have seen her. When  I cry  In bed because  I missed her  I would just say to myself she picked her boyfriend over her kids. So grow up and stop crying she's not worth your time.  If she wanted anything to do with us she would listened to me her daughter. She picked her boyfriends over her kids. That's something  I'm dealing with  In my own ways. We talk every now and then but  I don't really see her anymore because she lives  In kansas. Thats a little too far to go to every other weekend. Living with my dad  Is something that he has always wanted. Now that  I live there we fight every now and then,just because the things arent the way he wants them. My dad can't really get around  It upsets him a lot so he can be an a-- a lot of the time. Living with my dad has made me better for who  I am today. He has showed me who  I am that  I don't need a guy for everything  I can get by own my own.
If  you have faith as small as a mustard seed nothing will be  Impossible for you, Matthew 17:20,  If you say that to yourself when you need help or somethings wrong.  It will get you through the day.  I use that bible verse all this time.  If you have faith you can accomplish many things and  If you don't have faith then where you going to be  In many years.
I have changed since  I started living with my dad.  It makes him happy because  I know about cars; That's something he has always wanted.  I also work more, have better grades. You can say my lifes coming together since  I have lived with my dad.  I have no boys throwing me down.  I promised myself  I'm never letting a boy throw me down again. They out there pants on just like me one leg at a time.
Thanks to the things my mom has done  In the past  It has made me a stronger person. One who thinks before  I act. Mom for that thank you! You will one day be proud of your daughter for who  I have became.  I'm not living my life like you did.  I'm not letting someone live my life for me  I choose the way  I wanna live unlike you.
So  Im saying don't always think about the past or bad things. Think about the things. Think about the things that make you who you are today.  If my mom wouldnt have pulled the s*** she pulled  I wouldn't be the person  I am today. My mom  Is still my mom and always will be  I can't change that.  I still love her very much and  I always will.  I just wish she would think before she did something next time. She has hurt me a lot  In my young life, but  It's life you learn from your mistakes. Even though shes 42 she's still learning how to live  In life. Even though you might have a bad childhood or parents anything bad it's  In the past. the past belongs in the past don't make it the present r suture. Make your life the way you want it not how your parents life was or how they want you to be. You are your own person act that way don't let anything that happen affect who you are in the end.