He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. To his horror, he saw it, his old friend, a constant reminder of what he had done, what he could not undo. It looked fine, the gold chain still gleaming in the light, the symbol never fading. If only he could touch it, or maybe, even put it on. No, he couldn't, that was the old him, the innocent and obedient him, the sober him. He did it to experiment, after all his friends did it, and they too called themselves Baha'is, so why couldn't he? After all it was only one sip. Well thats no excuse, if a person jumps off a bridge do you? No, he knew that, so why did he do it. He did it to find himself, to get away from the worries of life, to have fun. After he was he really all that religious?

Well lets start off with this question: why didn't he do it? Well for starters it's been drilled into him since he was a kid that it was bad not only on the social level but religious as well. But even as a kid he knew that if it wasn't for his parents and the morals that they instilled, he would eventually end up doing it and he would go over board. So he stuck with that, and freshman year he wanted to be the only guy who didn't do it, the one who was able to party and not get s***faced. He was the guy that took care of everyone, the one that everyone forgot about. It wasn't all that bad, after all he liked taking care of his friends, but sometimes he wanted to be able to have the amount of fun their having too. He wanted to be able to make stupid mistakes and have fun, like other all the other kids his age.

He didn't do it because of peer pressure, or because it was the cool thing to do, he did it because he wanted to. He needs to stop doing things that others want him to do, he needs to find himself. After all he thinks too much, in fact he over thinks things so much he drives himself crazy, he needs to stop thinking and just relax. So now he finally knows why he did it. He did it to stop thinking, to allow himself to have fun without focusing on things that don't matter. And maybe, when he does finally find himself, he can open that door and greet his friend once again.