The sun. Its powerful rays beat down on me, seeping through my skin, leaving it with a sunkissed glow. “Want to take a dip?”  My friend Natalie asks as she forces down another handful of chips. She already knows my response, but asks one more time to be sure. I look out into the distance but immediately hang my head down, forced to only see the specks of sand. The sun’s rays feel chilled, maybe even fainter at that moment. Of course, my answer is a definite no. Although, I’m relieved to see my innocent little sister, Tracey, playing and laughing in the water. I crack a smile and try to relax, knowing that she’s safe out there.

Natalie leaves me all by myself to get food while she’s in the bathroom.  I stare down at the muddy brown floors, that my sandy toes stand upon. I hear something. A cry for help? That’s it. “V-V-V-A-N-N-N-E-S-S-A!!” The wooden floors turn into a blur, as if my eyes were covered in tears. I’m doubtful that the person is calling my name, but as I hear the same voice over and over again, it sounds…..familiar.

I’m frantically sprinting down to the beach water, tripping on a rock every now and then. I’m frustrated, terrified, and mad that my mom isn’t here. I can’t speak. I can only run, run as fast as my 14 year old legs can carry me. Tears stream down my ghostly pale face and all I can think of is; why is nobody helping me? Instead they helplessly stand there, bewildered by what they’re witnessing. When my feet hit the water, I come to an abrupt stop, feeling stuck in the damp sand. Instead of seeing an ocean ahead of me, I see a death trap, the same as it was in 2005. I envision myself, going down all over again.  But there’s absolutely no way I can get out of this one, there’s no turning back at this point.

I bawl. I bawl my eyes out all the way into the ocean which makes everything worse because I can’t see a thing. I’m lost, all by myself and I’m certain that a shark will thrash on my leg any second. I flap my arms up and down, praying that this will keep me afloat. Once in a while, I’ll hear someone shout from the shore, but there’s no way I can look back, I’d be sure to drown. I can’t put my head in, it would be equivalent to dunking my head in a pit of tar. One wrong move and my whole body will be in by 6 feet. That’s something I should never have to experience...again. I flap and flap and flap until I have enough power to carry me just a little bit farther. One step at a time.

My eyes are sore and bulging out from the salty water. I feel ill, not knowing if I should just give up now. That would be so much easier, I could leave Earth knowing that I stepped foot in the ocean. But I couldn’t leave knowing that I abandoned my sister, leaving her to die. I push myself, making myself go farther. My lips have turned to ice and the fact that I’m even in the water, frightens and shocks me terribly . But I’m no where near caring. In fact, I’m just happy to be next to my sister.  I made it, I knew I would, anything for my sister. Her drenched hair, whitened skin, purple lips, a smile spreading across her trembling face. I’m joyed. So happy, that I actually started laughing hysterically in the middle of the ocean. I grasp her hand, knowing that I’d never let go from that moment on.  I give her a slight  tug, motioning to the shore. I was speechless, shivering from head to toe. I couldn’t force anything out of my mouth. But instead of her following along, I felt a heavy tug leading downwards. She was giving up on me, too weak to swim back. Tracey forced my whole body down with her. Looking up, I could only see the light blue ocean, wavering and getting fainter and fainter with every tug down. I am still the same person as I was 10 years ago but this time, I was never going to let go of Tracey.